| "Oh...Crap..." Reviews/Comments [ 57 ] |
| Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 › » ] |
Title: Chatper 10 Review
Reviewed By: Tjay Motou [MediaMiner Member] On: December 21, 2006 01:18 CST
Comment/Review:
That was just funny... but Atemu called Namu "Malik"... which was odd... you may want to fix that when you get around to it.
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Title: Review for Chapter 9
Reviewed By: Tjay Motou [MediaMiner Member] On: December 21, 2006 01:02 CST
Comment/Review:
Are you getting tried of reading these? are you to the point of email me and telling me to stop reviewing? either way I'm not stopping... Nice lemon... nice... a bit short... but lemon... lemon... me love lemon... lemon... *drools on keyboard and ruins it*
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Title: Review for Chapter 8
Reviewed By: Tjay Motou [MediaMiner Member] On: December 21, 2006 00:54 CST
Comment/Review:
soo... Yami Bakura and Yami Marik don't exist... okay... works for me. by the way... Ryou's sister name is... not that... I would tell you hoewever my version of the Manga is very very in correct and I'm too lazy to look it up... anyways Good job... off to chapter 9
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Title: Review for Chapter 7
Reviewed By: Tjay Motou [MediaMiner Member] On: December 21, 2006 00:42 CST
Comment/Review:
"Mariku and I are the King of Thieves?" Are they like married or something? Bakura is the king... he can't share his title... he just can't!! *sobs* NOOO!! *runs off in tears unable to make any more comments*
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Title: Review for Chapter 6
Reviewed By: Tjay Motou [MediaMiner Member] On: December 21, 2006 00:30 CST
Comment/Review:
Awww... Ryou and Bakura's kiss was soo sweet... anyways... I suppose by now you're sick of my reviews... oh well... Your characters are starting to become more 'real' slowly. Some grammar issues to deal with... but no big deal... we all make a few mistakes. I do it all the time so I won't get into those. Back to the characterizations... try going more into depth with their personalities and thoughts and feelings... and try to descibe their surroundings more also... makes the story feel more 'real'. Other than that... good job... and off I go to the next chapter.
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Reviewed By: Tjay Motou [MediaMiner Member] On: December 20, 2006 11:46 CST
Comment/Review:
Okay, well is it me... or is Bakura out of Character? Not that I mind... I like it, but it's just something I noticed. I also like the idea of fake names... I forgot to comment on that in my last review. I would also like to point out that some of your characters... aren't well developed... and seem kind of flat... Internal conflict and other things that force them to act and react can fix that nicely... also I want you to feel free to email me if you want... I'll be happy to offer some help. ^^
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Reviewed By: Tjay Motou [MediaMiner Member] On: December 20, 2006 11:19 CST
Comment/Review:
I am very sorry I haven't reviewed in a while... I was kinda enjoying a nice vacation... and now I got like 300 fanfics to read and review... so I figured I'd start with you. When I said more detail I meant it in both ways... my best advice is to pretend that, me, the reader, is a complete and utter moron... thus you got explain everything out, what the characters look like, how the feel about a suitation happening to them and so on. Which now saying, You are getting better at doing, I'm only on chapter 4 and the inprovement is fantastic. Good Job... see you next reviw.
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Reviewed By: RyousGirl567 (nli) On: December 18, 2006 19:05 CST
Comment/Review:
Yet another good chappie. *nods* It took a while, but I shouldn't be one to talk (*cough*2monthsnoupdating*cough*). ^^;;; It was well worth the wait. ^_^ I think I feel bad for Ryou the most at this point. No, not just 'cause I'm a fangirl, but he has to deal with the weight of everyone else's problems instead of just his own, which makes it so sad. *sniffle* He just has to stop being so kind and stop burdening himself with others' problems. Again, I shouldn't be one to talk (*cough*cough*). Our band ended up placing 3rd out of 12 in the NY state championships! ^_^ Hopefully this next season will be even better (considering it'll be my last... T.T *cries*)! Our next show is West Side Story, so it should be good. Can't wait! ^___^ And now that the counter has gone under 3250 (characters), I think I'll stop my rant here. Good luck in all that you do and happy writings! ~Tori-chan P.S. Merry Christmas (and Happy Channukah 'cause I celebrate that too) and Happy New Years!
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Reviewed By: Nyami_Rose [MediaMiner Member] On: December 18, 2006 18:59 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
*runs to the bathroom* BARF!!!! I MUST KILL THE PHAROAH!!!! You had better not make Malik cheat on Marik or I'll torture you to DEATH!!!!!! And actually, in all truth, I'm serious. I starting o lose intrest in his story becuase of Atemu being a bastard. If Malik & Mr. Royal-Stik-Up-His-Ass get together, I truthfully wouldn't wan to read this story. Sorry, that's just my view. Don't take it TOO personally. (and I'm sorry if I sound like a bitch, that's how I feel) -NyNy
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Reviewed By: Hells_gatekepper [MediaMiner Member] On: December 16, 2006 23:25 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ohhh...beautimous!! I wuvved wuvved WUVVED it! It's been such a long time since you updated, but I can see why. Time makes something even better. I can't wait to see the next chapter! And it's been so long since we've talked. Luckily, I'm almost done with school, so maybe we'll catch up with each other. Until then, continue having that wonderful creative spirit of yours!! *hugs* Merry Christmas!!!
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Reviewed By: kokosada [MediaMiner Member] On: October 05, 2006 13:26 CDT
Comment/Review:
Yay!! You updated!! *glomps* I love you!! ^_^;; Sorry, 'bout the homicidal comment, but yah, I'm like that. I loved this chapter. Poor Mariku... ^_^ Now, my previous review stands, until you write the next chapter. ^_^
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Reviewed By: RyousGirl567 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 04, 2006 20:53 CDT
Comment/Review:
Yeys! Another chappie! ^_^ Wheee! THat was an ineresting plot developer. Very interesting. I can't wait for the next one so everything can come together. And to see if Malik has to give himself up... Which would suck (for him)... Yey, a fellow Tea/Anzu-hater! Must die!!! >.< On a completely different topic, we placed 3rd out of 4, but missed 1st by only 2 points! >.< The only other one we've had was indoors and one can't fit a guard of 21 on an auditorium stage... I dropped my flag and it made the LOUDEST noise possible all because I was a milisecond off from the person behind me... >.> Grr.... We got "Excellent", but it still sucked. I never want to do an indoor competition again... At least your band's been doing well. ^^;;; I finished that fic that I said the writing was inspired by reading your fic. ^_^ Yeys! Unfortunately, I'm "nli" so you can't just click my name. Damn the pc... Well, I'm supposed to be doing homework, so I'll sign off here. Happy writings and competitions! ^_^ ~Tori-chan~
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Title: Whoo-hoo!!!
Reviewed By: Hells_gatekepper [MediaMiner Member] On: October 04, 2006 19:17 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
That was SOOO awesome! And yes, Malik is a Pimp. Other fanfics have proven him to be. But he's an adorable one, no? Loved the story and can't wait to see what Atemu expects from Malik for his birthday *wink wink*. Update when you get the free time, but remember, classes are important!!! Can't wait to talk to you again soon and can't wait for the next installment!!! ~Dreizhen
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Reviewed By: Animeniac35 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 04, 2006 16:09 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey! I've read all the chapters but this is the first time I've reviewed. I lvoe this story! It's awesome!! I loved this chapter. It was great. I can't wait till the next one! Update soon! see ya!
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Reviewed By: kokosada [MediaMiner Member] On: September 19, 2006 18:25 CDT
Comment/Review:
Shut Doo~wn! Write more, or I go homicidal on your ass... ^_^
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