| "Puberty Sux" Reviews/Comments [ 55 ] |
| Pages (4): [ « < 1 2 3 4 > » ] |
Reviewed By: Silva Noir [MediaMiner Member] On: April 18, 2002 12:03 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
(chapter 6) ewww. Its not good to kiss dead people. |
Reviewed By: Kaden Z Fukuyama [MediaMiner Member] On: April 15, 2002 07:16 CDT
Comment/Review:
@ hoshi: I hate juri with a passion. If you will look at my fanart *under the name Kaden Z Fukuyama* you will find that something bad will happen to her. |
Reviewed By: Hoshi Tatsu On: April 13, 2002 04:18 CDT
Comment/Review:
Tight! Tight! Hoshi wants a lemon!!!!! |
Reviewed By: Kaden Z Fukuyama [MediaMiner Member] On: April 12, 2002 08:26 CDT
Comment/Review:
@ DarkRaptramon : I will not write any lemony scenes in this. Its rated R for later chapters |
Reviewed By: GameGirl [MediaMiner Member] On: April 11, 2002 20:01 CDT
Comment/Review:
It's kinda funny reading this fic and Suzie hasn't hanged a bit when in my fic, well, she's a bit different. Anyway, continue! |
Reviewed By: Hoshi Tatsu On: April 14, 2002 18:25 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Sorry for before. Hey write some more though I can't wait for the next chapters. You could put Jeri in this. Have her get raped or something evil because I can't stand her sorry ass. |
Reviewed By: DarkRaptramon On: April 11, 2002 19:13 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
Dude you need to add more twists turns SEX....
but over all pretty good this isn't realy a rated r more like pg 13 |
Reviewed By: Mimi, Myself, & Iz. [MediaMiner Member] On: April 11, 2002 03:19 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yeah! What a way to end that chapter! Looks like Shao will never grow out of that phase... well not so soon. (grins) Well, now we learn some about that amulet we see in your art of Jennie! Interesting. What happens now. It does seem Ruki cut herself on purpose just to get an excuse to see Jen. Ahhh... the perfect crime.
Nice work! I can't wait for the next part of the story! ...or even in art! I don't mind if your medium surface of choice is still Toys R Us reciepts! More PS! (cheers)
~ Jodi S. |
Reviewed By: Digifan316 On: April 09, 2002 20:08 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
CROW: You know, I'm going to thank god that we weren't treated to a mental image of Terriormon in daipers.
(ALL shudder)
BRIAN: We are now.
TOM (Sarcastic): Thanks Crow. Good story. |
Reviewed By: Silva Noir [MediaMiner Member] On: April 09, 2002 19:41 CDT
Comment/Review:
chapter 5 is toooo shoooooort. and has bunnies. hop hop. |
Reviewed By: Jen's Lova On: April 08, 2002 13:08 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wowwie this is great! I love this ficcie. It is so wonderful. :) keep it up. GO KADIE!!! |
Reviewed By: Anorexic Chibi [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2002 14:58 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is quite an interesting chapter. A little more plotline this time, especially with the idea of him already being dead. Vampire, right?
Anyways, getting better, but I had to knock you down a point on grammar. You used present tense where it should have been all past.
What I do like in this is the idea of Henry acting his age (I mean, like a teenager.) You really don't see much of that, as he is viewed as the mature one of the group.
AC |
Reviewed By: Cari, AKA Digimon Kaiserin, Puchico, Sakura, Washuu On: April 01, 2002 14:49 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 2 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
Not very origonal, spelling and grammar could use some work, overall not very good and needs serious work. Needs a Beta.
~Cari
"Digimon Kaiserin" |
Reviewed By: Anorexic Chibi [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2002 14:48 CST
Comment/Review:
I noticed one more thing in chapter 3 that you might want to look at.
"Especially in this stupid penguin suit."
'This' indicates that he's still wearing it. Unless he really is wearing it, that might work better.
OK, so it's not one more thing, but I thought I'd mention it. Bold and underlines look strange in a story. If you're going to use font changes, you might want to stick to italics, and even then only sparingly. |
Reviewed By: Anorexic Chibi [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2002 14:38 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yep, I'm back with some more C&C. Jen’s losing it, eh? It seems like it, sort of. The entire idea of him going bestial here is interesting. *thinks back to some of Kaden’s pictures he saw* Oh duh! I forgot about BROT. It is bestiality, or vampire or something like that. This should be a bit more interesting.
Anyways, I can’t believe I didn’t catch this earlier. Basic rule of English here.
(ex. Made up, not from story) “Don’t go,” she said.
Take note. There is a comma after the last word, and not a period. Also ‘she’ isn’t capitalized. Also, you seem to be very good at giving more vivid terms for said, but whenever you have a person ask a question, you always use said right after. Try something like this.
(ex.) “You’re going?” she asked (or inquired, or another synonym of asked).
OK, so I’m not feeling creative. If they’re asking a question, the verb should reflect this. ‘she said’ does not emphasize this properly. Also note that ‘she’ is still not capitalized.
Overall, a very interesting chapter, and I think this story is pretty good, I’m just very verbose right now. The enjoyment factor has gone up some. |
| Pages (4): [ « < 1 2 3 4 > » ] |
