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| "A Matter Of Choice" Reviews/Comments [ 39 ] | | Pages (3): [ 1 2 3 › » ] | Reviewed By: paniwi (nli) On: January 16, 2010 08:37 CST
Comment/Review:
An interesting chapter. I was a little thrown by how quickly events moved on again. Certainly, for everything that happened between her and Torin I had expected a little more tension in what is the first time in months that they've really spoken. I have to say I thought Tegan has turned a bit slutty over time. Be it Torin or Demetriov, she seems to dive into either one's arms as soon as they open them for her. It is getting exciting now that Tegan has made up her mind. Though knowing how it will end up does, for the first time, take the suspense out of things a little, but that is to be expected. All in all a decent chapter, building up to the action.
| Reviewed By: paniwi (nli) On: September 27, 2009 07:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
Mmh, well that was both a very interesting, and a very hot chapter. I am a big fan of how you mix emotion together with the actual act of having sex. It's one of the best things you do when writing lemon. I was rather amused by Demetriov liking it rowdy. But on that note, I think you did an exuisite job in portraying the way Demetriov thinks. You mixed his 'evil' part and his love for her together very skillfully. Though it's of course absolutely insane, you make it sound perfectly sensible when he thinks about her the way he does. And Torin's little pouting session at the end was very evocative as well. Though admittedly it would have had more impact if this situation wasn't his own fault so much, but I digress. That said a few points of criticism. First, and I've said this in my last review as well, it seems incredibly unlikely to me that Tegan would not suspect even a little bit that Demetriov is behind the break-up between her and Torin. Secondly, you are doing the skipping of big blocks of time again. I understand you don't want things happening too quickly after each other in a story, but it is disconcerting to the reader. Even if you give a short review of what has passed in those months (Tegan gets depresed again, Demetriov moves in) as a reader I want to read about these things, not see them summed up in a quick summary. And one last thing that I've noticed pretty much since Tegan was changed. I would like to see you describe her depression and whatever else she feels and does (and this is the third one and counting if I'm correct) a little bit more. I'd like to see a bit deeper explanation of why and how she has changed. Since her character has changed rather dramatically from being a practical go-getter always watching her back to basically a sitting duck. But alltogether a nice chapter, now to see how the next possible way she'll get her silly ass in trouble again.
| Reviewed By: paniwi (nli) On: August 08, 2009 14:03 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hey hon, a quick review from the states from me. I got some time. Interesting chapter hon. It shows just how far Demetriov is willing to go quite openly. Talk about being objectified. You worked with him exuisitely this time, giving me exactly that idea of wanting to know more, constantly leaving me wondering about the how and why of his thoughts. And Torin, as per usual he is an idiot, and Tegan is more than right. He is a coward, a very big coward. A point of criticism though. Considering the history the three of them had I find it highly unlikely that either of them did not see this coming. I think that anyone standing in Tegan's shoes, knowing Demetriov as she does, would realize he is behind this. It would quite honestly be my first thought. Otherwise, well doen.
| Reviewed By: paniwi(NLI) On: March 09, 2009 08:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
Nice chapter. Tegan's 180 is complete it seems. Run, little humans run. Though I don't know if you noticed, but the letters on the left side of the page are out of view, I read it in word.
| Reviewed By: paniwi (NLI) On: February 17, 2009 04:44 CST
Comment/Review:
A good chapter. You know I am glad we had some Demetriov interaction, love his one-track mind. Tegan sure is a different person to who she used to be. I'm interested to see what comes next in Demetriov's plan. I think he is affected very harshly with Murphy's law syndrom though.
| Reviewed By: paniwi (NLI) On: September 13, 2008 16:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
Well, you were right about one thing. I think she's gone insane alright. And she's become quite the little whore as well. Quite different from the shy, don't tease me about my relationship girl I know, hehe. Demetriov's explanation for her behaviour was interesting. Hehe, things still aren't working out the way he planned. Either way, nice chapter, like the way you presented the beast (Oooh, theme song: Truth beneath the rose, WT!). Though I rather wonder about the discs Torin had, are they going to play any further role, or did it play it's role? either way, can't wait to see what happens next. Hehe, looks like I won't have to look at Demetriov anymore for my dosis of insanity. Though I still want more insight in him. He really has such small roles in your chapters lately.
| Reviewed By: paniwi (NLI) On: September 06, 2008 13:38 CDT
Comment/Review:
Mmh, nice chapter. And of course I see it right before I have to go to work -_-. Though I have to say I was a little thrown by Tegan's reactions. It seemed like a total 180 from how she was mere days ago. I get that she might be pushing things away, hiding behind masks, and you had Torin state/think as much. But still, because you focussed more on what was happening than what both of them were feeling at the time it still felt awkward. Though now we are playing with the dark side I see. Though having three POV's of each a few sentences at the end of the chapter is a little too much I think. I still insist on more Demetriov insight you know.
| Reviewed By: Paniwi [MediaMiner Member] On: April 12, 2008 15:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
So, the hybrid CD came out at last. Well no surprise for me of course, but that is beside the point. I liked how she spat at Torin like that, apparently not even noticing Demetriov. And then she starved herself, the poor lass. Didn't see that one coming. It seems a bit awkward that both Demetriov and Torin would allow it to go on quite that long. But then again this is new territory for them both. Though Demetriov is still waiting and keeping everyone on tenterhooks. I liked the chapter as a whole but I think it was a bit short. I would've liked to know a little more about all that our three main players felt. Emotionally and, in Tegan's case, physically. That is the advice I can give. Waiting for more sweetie
| Reviewed By: paniwi (nli) On: March 17, 2008 17:20 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ah, so it really begins. Well, Demetriov kind of has a point. There is a very big element of irony in there. But then again, such was the case at his own change, was it not? Good chapter, if small and kind of cliffie. Can't wait for the rest. Now I shall speak to you tomorrow *yawns*
| Reviewed By: Paniwi [MediaMiner Member] On: February 09, 2008 07:21 CST
Comment/Review:
Whoo, interesting chapter. Well, if this happens and it happens the way they hope I wonder how Demetriov would feel. A vampire, but not by his hand. Mmh, it doesn't help that I know the big plot twist, you know that right? *snigger* Anyway, loved the Demetriov insight, more insight, more insight, yeey. It occurs to me that while he and Tegan have met often enough they've never really had a conversation, positive or negative. Well, I hope to see more soon.
| Reviewed By: paniwi (NLI) On: January 01, 2008 13:47 CST
Comment/Review:
Now I liked this chapter. A little insight in Demetriov never goes amiss, even if it is through Torin's eyes. Demetriov's way of thinking really is rather imflamatory isn't it? He's like a kid smashing a toy on the floor then crying when it breaks, or it sounds that way if Torin was right about him being genuine in his concern. Well, what exactly will be the result of Tegan's change I wonder. I can only await things anxiously my sweet Good chapter
| Reviewed By: Paniwi [MediaMiner Member] On: December 19, 2007 08:13 CST
Comment/Review:
Oooh, I loved this chapter, it's so utterly emotional and Torin, you bastard, stop charming me. I'm suppposed to be disliking you *pouts* Just how does merciless killer go with romantic fool anyway? Well Demetriov is right on one thing, he is utterly predictable. Anyway, about the chapter. Like I said it's very emotional and sweet. Poor Torin really did get his ass handed to him and their background, Demetriov's in particular, just makes it all the more bitter for him I imagine. And finally the mechanics of vampirism are starting to peek around the corner. Anxiously awaiting the next chapter my love.
| Reviewed By: paniwi (NLI) On: October 21, 2007 06:57 CDT
Comment/Review:
Oh goodie, you posted another *all beaming* Mmh, somehow I am surprised that he would attempt to change Tegan in such a way, for that matter, attacking her when she was already weakened. But alas, looks like his patience ran out. Thank you for the wonderful insight about how he feels about her, lovely just how twisted he has become. A few things that I noticed is that Tegan's resistance against him in their fight was a little...I mean, I know she's a hybrid, and I know she's a fighter but even so she seemed to fare better against him than against Adam, even if their was a different motive. Another thing that I noticed during a few chapters is that Torin doesn't seem to be playing that big of a role, which is quite ironic. Somehow I had expected him to be doing more than simply yell at her or worry about her. Perhaps it would've been nice if for instance the fight between him and Demetriov, the first one and the one in this chapter, would have been elaborated. But for everything else I liked the chapter, again, especially the Demetriov-insight. I've been waiting for that for a while. And now we wait and see what Tegan turns into, I'm curious. Well, back to studying and I will see you soon my sweet.
| Reviewed By: paniwi (nli) On: October 20, 2007 16:00 CDT
Comment/Review:
A nice chapter, well, what did I expect, you've been playing with Adam for a while now *chuckles*. I wonder what the new set of trouble will entail for her *whacks you for the evil cliffie* Well, I am waiting with bated breath for the next installment
| Reviewed By: Paniwi [MediaMiner Member] On: September 23, 2007 11:28 CDT
Comment/Review:
It was a nice chapter. I like the fight Tegan and Torin had, showcasing that neither is too happy go lucky about the situation (not that they have any right to be of course) Anyway, I did thought the chapter was a bit...fragmented. You tend to take leaps in your story and it felt in some places as though you cut of where the fun should start. In the chapters in which you span time or have Torin do the narrative thingie, try to make things a bit more fluent, it doesn't matter if the chapter becomes longer because of it. Otherwise it was great and heart-wrenching as usual. I wonder when the real pain will start.
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