| "A Life for a Life" Reviews/Comments [ 127 ] |
| Pages (9): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ] |
Title: Perhaps
Reviewed By: A_bigfoot37 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 22, 2007 02:27 EDT
Comment/Review:
You may have a few good arguments against the complaints, my own included, but the fact of the matter is that the only way you'd be able to change the age of any of the characters is if you change the placement of events which you don't appear to be doing. I agree with you that some of the original rookie 9 and team Gai could be 16 or 17, but the ages and dates of birth were stated in the manga. You may not be following the Naruto manga or anime to the letter, but you can't deny that Naruto is the second youngest and is a great deal taller than you previously indicated. More than that, given the circumstances, the Akatsuki had taken 3 years of preparation starting when Itachi and Kisame had failed in capturing Naruto the first time. It takes at least 3 years to be able to properly remove a bijuu from the Jinchuuriki it's sealed in, and that's when the person is being quick. Although you have stated that you would follow the manga partially there are some points where you don't have a choice but to follow the manga otherwise nothing would be able to be explained properly. Naruto probably has a few months before he turns the age of 16 and you can most likely bring a great deal of detail within these months to insure that things are followed through. Infact in age order Gaara, Shino, Sakura, Chouji, Kiba, and Sasuke are infact 16 given the 2 1/2 year jump. Lee is also 16 given that he was born in November. Kankuro himself is most likely 18 as well as Temari. Everyone's date of brith has to be factored in order to be accurate on their ages. And I'm rambling again. For some reason this happens every time I review a story that keeps me interested. The list is relatively long, but most of the time it's to help with the development of a story. I can't say that my review will help but it may stop a few complaints that you apparently have been recieving. You gonna follow the popular opinion about Obito and Tobi? And you also appear to be indicating a possible Naruto/Hinata pairing. I'm not sure whether or not this is accurate which is the main reason I'm bringing it up. And I'm rambling once more. Anyway, I hope for more. Your loyal reviewer - Anime Insaniac
|
Reviewed By: Cheysuli-Night [MediaMiner Member] On: March 21, 2007 10:44 EDT
Comment/Review:
Love the story so far. Especially Kakashi fainting like that. I'm a bit surprised he's not being teased about that. I have only one complaint: having the whole story in italics is a bit distracting. Update soon.
|
Reviewed By: Fyrloche [MediaMiner Member] On: March 21, 2007 09:11 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Love it! You're doing a great job, in my opinion. And, you had better put in some Naruto/Hinata action. Lemons at your discretion, of course. My daughter found a video of Naruto accidentally spying on Hinata while she was training. It was while she was under a waterfall. It looked like she was dancing in the nude. Naruto looked like he was going to fall out. My daughter said that she had heard about that scene already and that Naruto didn't recognize her until later. Still, that could lead to some ideas, couldn't it. Like perhaps meeting her there again for a couples dance, perhaps? snorts I really am becoming a hentai! Later, Fyrloche.
|
Title: Still
Reviewed By: A_bigfoot37 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 21, 2007 03:14 EDT
Comment/Review:
You still haven't changed that mistake because Naruto is only 15 and he grew over a foot taller than his 12 year old self. Heck he's no longer the second shortest one from his age group, the only one shorter happens to be the only one who is younger than him as well. Fill in the blanks, read the profiles of each character and figure out who is the youngest of their age group. Finally, what's with everyone naming Yondaime Arashi, isn't there already an Arashi in the anime, albeit the fillers but still without that specific filler Sakura becoming Tsunade's apprentice wouldn't have been explained very well. Naruto may mean maelstrom but it's too cliche to having his most likely father being a japanese synonym for storm. What's the pairing for this fic? I forgot to ask.
|
Reviewed By: InuyashaNaruto [MediaMiner Member] On: March 20, 2007 23:27 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Please dont make them wait to long to meet you have done an excellent job and I totally agree about bring the 4th back and making him fight this is more realistic makes it that much more fun to read!! Yatta great job looking forward to the next chap!!
|
Reviewed By: Kai3anime [MediaMiner Member] On: March 20, 2007 23:26 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love this story it's awesome i can't wait to find out what happens next.
|
Reviewed By: littleolmee [MediaMiner Member] On: March 20, 2007 23:07 EDT
Comment/Review:
You have an interesting story going so far. I personally agree with you about not just throwing father and son back together right away and Arashi's knowledge of Konoha being only up to when he seals the fox. I can't wait to see more of his reactions to seeing his son. It would be a terrible shock I'd think to have last seen your child as a newborn and not see them again until they were 17yrs old. I do have one question. You have all the original Genin's at 17 to 18 yrs old and Naruto away for 3yrs but in the manga Naruto was only gone 2 1/2 yrs and is between 15-16yrs old when he returned. Being 12 when Genin, 12-13 at Chunnin exam, gone 2 1/2 yrs placing him at 15-16. Did you decide to make them older for a reason? I hope you stay with the story it is very interesting approach to this idea. As far as reviews go, this site for some reason is just lacking when it comes to reviews. If your interested in the story having more readers I would suggest going to other sites and posting there as well. Take care and thanks for sharing your story.
|
Reviewed By: zigyy553 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 20, 2007 22:13 EDT
Comment/Review:
update again!
|
Reviewed By: jensu [MediaMiner Member] On: March 20, 2007 18:36 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
next chapter please^_^ man i love this story so far^_^
|
Reviewed By: zigyy553 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 20, 2007 16:56 EDT
Comment/Review:
Update soon please! Arashi meet your son! Uzumaki Naruto!
|
Title: Why
Reviewed By: A_bigfoot37 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 20, 2007 01:31 EDT
Comment/Review:
Why is it all in italics? More please and it's A_bigfoot37 though I'd prefer my FF.N Pen name: Anime Insaniac.
|
Reviewed By: zigyy553 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 19, 2007 17:21 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This great! Can you update soon please? Also, can you make the chapters linger?
|
Reviewed By: Fyrloche [MediaMiner Member] On: March 19, 2007 09:37 EDT
Comment/Review:
I like the story. My kids would probably be able to pick out the timeline problems that the one reviewer did since they are huge Naruto fans. I've become very interested in Naruto (not as much as Inuyasha, but close). This story is well written and very interesting. I hope that writing it helps get you out of your funk. In the meantime, we will get to enjoy your self therapy. It's a win/win situation. Later, Fyrloche.
|
Title: Problems
Reviewed By: A_bigfoot37 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 19, 2007 02:38 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
You don't appear to have that much data on Naruto do you. Kakashi was only 26 when he actually passed a team, meaning that he was 14 when the Kyuubi attacked Konoha and if you add 14 and 17 that makes 31. You're also exagerating the time skip by 2 1/2 years. Naruto is only gone from Konoha for 2 1/2 years but you're making him be away for 5 years. I seriously don't think anyone close to Naruto, especially Hinata, could be away from Naruto for that long. I specify Hinata because she was the only person to see Naruto for who he really is for a while, she was the only one that could see through the facade he put up. You may want to correct a few of these errors. You got something here, I've seen things similar to it but nothing exactly like it so I'll keep my eyes peeled for updates.
|
Reviewed By: kyli the wolf hanyou [MediaMiner Member] On: March 18, 2007 21:18 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
wow, i havent been here in so long. update soon!
|
| Pages (9): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ] |
