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| "You Lose, Miko!" Reviews/Comments [ 54 ] | | Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 › » ] | Reviewed By: Sesshy81 Is not logged in On: April 25, 2009 18:45 EDT
Comment/Review:
Hmm still going strong, but I would like to make a small correction. Kurama attended Meiou Academy, not Sarayashiki, that was Yusuke and Kuwabara's school. Kurama's school uniform was pink (or red) while Sarayashiki's uniform was blue (even though Yusuke deliberately wore green just to piss off the teachers.)
| Reviewed By: madmiko [MediaMiner Member] On: April 22, 2009 14:07 EDT
Comment/Review:
Darn it! I hate it when my review gets cut off. I never keep an eye on the counter because I just expect it to stop letting me type when I'm out of room. Let's see if I can re-write my last couple of sentences. I thought the way they talked after their skirmishing was very indicative of the level of maturity their relationship is on. She apologized and he thanked her. I know there will be a few people who will think that is OOC of him, but I don't. Hiei IS mature enough to acknowledge things like that. I really felt like this chapter gave them both some things to think about in terms of each other, (as well as Hiei having to deal with the sibling issue), and I think they moved to a new level in their relationship. Then you gave us that evil cliffhanger. *sigh* I am SO in love with those things! ^_^ I will be waiting on the edge of my seat for the next chapter.
| Reviewed By: madmiko [MediaMiner Member] On: April 22, 2009 13:43 EDT
Comment/Review:
Even without the eye candy, chapter 7 gives us plenty to chew on. ^_~ I enjoyed the many thoughts about and references to age and maturity in this one. We saw different levels of it in different interactions, I think.I really liked Kagome's thoughts about Hiei's little warning about HIS age: "As if that had anything to do with anything." She isn't intimidated by his life experiences. I think that says a lot about her. I've always thought Kagome has a wonderful amount of self-confidence and a pretty level-headed attitude about her place in the world. She can cope and she can keep up with those around her. On the other hand, she DID take note of his point that he isn't emotionally immature like Inuyasha. I think this was a turning point for her in the way she thinks about Hiei. She knows if they have issues, she's going to have to deal with them differently. I think she also realized that if she develops feelings for him and if anything were to ever come of it, it would be serious and not just "puppy love." ^_~ Their new game of Hiei presenting himself as a moving target for her arrows is intriguing. I loved the way Hiei "preened" over her compliments on his speed. So typically male. LOL! I also liked the fact that while he was deliberately trying to antagonize her, she knew what he doing. I cackled when his continued assurances of his greatness and invulnerability got his head removed from her lap, where she had so graciously put it when she went to check his injuries. That was so funny! (And it served him right.) It seems I have read somewhere that sitting with someone's head in your lap is some kind of significant sign of affection/relationship in Japan. (Of course, with their aversion to PDAs in general, I suppose that was a silly statement I just made, but it's just on the edge of my memory that it is something particular. Darn it! May have to do some research to see if I can dig that up again. But, I think it's similar to the way that carrying someone on your back is more common there than carrying them in your arms.) I saw the big flashing "danger" sign when he cut her and she asked if he had the same healing powers as his sister. Man, did THAT ever blow up! Naturally, he went ballistic and then his reaction and demands made her really lose her temper. "Fireworks on aisle 3!" I really loved it when Kagome finally told him he didn't Yukina enough credit. I think most of fandom doesn't give Yukina enough credit. LOL! I have to confess, I was disappointed Mama didn't find out about the wound so she could rip Hiei a new one the next time she saw him. *snicker* But I know that would have diverted the focus of the action. Hiei disappearing for a few days made sense to me. 1. He had to come to terms with Yukina knowing. 2. He needed to see how things stood with Yukina. 3. He needed to GET OVER IT enough to be able to approach Kagome again--even though everything turned out to be okay, it had to be hard to face the fact that so many people, including this ningen, knew something he didn't that affected him so deeply. Hurt pride stings. Plus, I'm sure he realized his anger at her had been misplaced. So, he's taking care of business and licking his wounds a bit. I was glad to see you bring Kagome's school friends into the picture. I howled with laughter when Kagome pronounced that everything about Hiei was in perfect proportion after saying he was a bit short and Eri said that's too bad. Hee hee! Brilliant! (We'll have to make sure Kagome corrects that mistaken impression later. ^_~) I like the way Hiei just breezed back into her life with an attack, like nothing had changed. His declaration that he has been too predictable if she doesn't pay attention when she isn't expecting an attack sounded just like him to me and was a point well-taken. I liked the mental picture I had of her just sitting on the ground smiling up at him being happy to see him again, even though he had just "scored" against her. I thought the way they talked aft | Reviewed By: Minnie_2010 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 21, 2009 17:15 EDT
Comment/Review:
Awwww..... Here i am surfing through the fanfics on this site, and i come across one that i want to indulge in and it ends with a cliffy, aww... Well it happens, can't wait to read the next part im excited and can't wait to find out what happens, great job on this fic, hope you have many more people enjoy like the rest of the those who reviewed
| Reviewed By: Drachegirl14 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 21, 2009 11:35 EDT
Comment/Review:
Well done! I was just cruising the other fics one day and I found this! You definitely have something special here. I enjoy the interaction between characters, and I'm quite curious as to Kagome's past adventures-will they appear in the modern day (like Shippo appearing randomly out of nowhere?) or will they simply remain memories? And about Koenama letting her into the past-does he know or not? SO many questions! But that's the sign of a good story. And as I've said, I enjoy your characterization, it's fresh and not totally un-realistic, but with a hint of change because KAgome has done some maturing. I like it. PLease keep up the excellent work!
| Reviewed By: ice vixen x On: April 20, 2009 03:04 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
glad to see another chpter up. i love this story because it really seems believable., but any who. I loved the fight. Made them both do some thinking. hiei said Thank You! so holy crap! you know he's not mad at her. I just can't get over how you catch their characters just right. being somone who's tried this combo before in a story i can say how hard it is, but... sorry to say... you are doing much better than i did -_-, ;;;el tear;;; Keep up the great work and keep the chapters coming. And don't htink i'll forget you promised us eye candy next chapter. When it comes to hiei, he is the chocolate covered strawberry of the anime world, in my opinion, so make it juicey and ripe ;;;wink wink;;; lol. Review ya later... ^_~
| Reviewed By: Kurai-kitsune [MediaMiner Member] On: April 20, 2009 01:40 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OMBOB I really like this story plzzz update when you have the chance i really want to know what happens next it very great please update soon
| Reviewed By: loretta537 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 20, 2009 00:28 EDT
Comment/Review:
will it be a good youkai or a bad one? i'm voting for a good one like shippo, sessy, inuyasha, jinji, kouga, ect
| Reviewed By: Chrystal-Hearts [MediaMiner Member] On: April 19, 2009 21:31 EDT
Comment/Review:
This was a good chapter, and you have me wanting to know what is going to happen now. Please update again soon. Chrystal-Hearts
| Reviewed By: Hawaiianhoney2030 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 19, 2009 20:54 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
great update, it was awesome. I liked how Hiei actually thanked Kagome for making him realize that Yukina knew about him being her brother. great chapter and i seriously cant wait for your next update ^_^ lol i hate cliffys when they're in my favorite fics but i do it all the time in my fics too lol so i'm not gunna complain about the cliffy but i will say that i hope you update REALLY soon cause i just might die if i dont find out what happens next!!
| Reviewed By: madmiko, notsigned in On: April 08, 2009 18:36 EDT
Comment/Review:
This chapter just has me on the edge of my seat waiting for the next one. ^_^ SO many good things in here. I love the small, subtle, but definite way you are showing that Kurama is expressing some interest in her. "You have no idea how beautiful and rare a creature you are." Smoooooooooth. Hehheh! I loved Hiei's VERY IC reaction to his realization that she might have actually been able to hurt him that first meeting after all: "NEVER apologize for strength, onna." You just summed Hiei up perfectly in that statement. It's a beautiful and concise view of who he is and what he values. Kagome's use of the pencil was cute--she actually won one of their encounters, for once. ^_^ You are still doing a marvelous job of moving the relationship along very realistically. I love it that neither of them noticed that he had started his attacks on her right after she left her friends and that they spent the rest of the time on her walk home just being companionable and learning more about each other. His irritation at her being late due to detention one day was very telling. AND when he attacked her again while she was talking to him, thereby breaking with their routine, he didn't like it when she dismissed him and stomped off. I thought it was very IC of Kagome not to hold a grudge, though, and to proceed as usual the next morning. However, Hiei learned a real lesson that afternoon when she didn't talk to him like she usually did because she was too busy being on guard against him. He didn't like that at all, and he offered a very Hiei-like apology in the form of his assurance that he wouldn't do it again because it wasn't honorable. I think this was a BIG step in their relationship. (And it made me smile. ^_^) I also loved it when she was telling him more of her adventures and he suddenly popped out with "You talk about that male too much." "Were there no females other than the taijiya and the old miko? *snicker snicker* I also loved Kagome's mother's interruption of their little talk. Moms DO have perfect (NOT!) timing sometimes. ^_~ But her warning to Kagome was very well-placed, I thought. "Don't forget, that youkai isn't Inuyasha." I liked the way you had her bring him a slice of carrot cake on her birthday. The point he made about knowing what a fork was and not needing her to tell him was well-done--however, I will say that his irritation was maybe just a tad misplaced considering he didn't seem to know about carrot cake. But I think her telling him she was 18 had hit a nerve with him and he needed a way to make it clear to her (and maybe to himself?) that she wasn't dealing with some wet-behind-the-ears hanyou this time. I think his growing attraction/fascination with her is starting to make him consider things and having her obvious youth, naivete, and innocence shoved in his face like that made him feel uncomfortable. So, he did what Hiei does and pointed out just who she WAS dealing with. I have to confess to a squealy moment when he grabbed her chin and held her in place up close while he told her just that. I think that moment gave them both a lot to think about. I'm not sure if he meant to scare her off or to test her or if he even KNEW what effect his words might have, and I think he could go two ways from here: try to ignore his growing feelings or start watching her reaction to him a lot more closely. I also think this is where Kurama is going to come into play by showing him that neither of those options is acceptable if there's a possibility that another male is in picture. Yes? Maybe? No matter how it plays out, I will be anxiously awaiting the promised "eye candy" in the next chapter. This is really a great story!
| Reviewed By: JaneyJane428 On: April 07, 2009 19:46 EDT
Comment/Review:
Awwww, and I thought Hiei was gonna kiss her...T_T Then again, that'd be somewhat OOC so early on. Still...it would've been nice to see. ^_^ Very nice story so far, and I hope you update soon. This is one of my favorite ones so far, so keep going! XD
| Reviewed By: Bloodcherry [MediaMiner Member] On: April 07, 2009 17:04 EDT
Comment/Review:
This is amazingly made! I can't believe it turned out this way... *grins* I really like your story so far and I hope you update soon! Ja ne, Bloodcherry
| Reviewed By: ice vixen x On: April 07, 2009 16:14 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yay, another chapter. Keep up the good work. Man, kagome and the fork thing seems like something stupid i would do and get all rosey cheeked. Good for you to make hiei clear up that little yet deepeer mistake... ^_~
| Reviewed By: Hawaiianhoney2030 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 06, 2009 02:19 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i CANT wait for the next update... Seriously LOVE this damn fic!!! LOVE IT!!!
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