| "You Lose, Miko!" Reviews/Comments [ 54 ] |
| Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 › » ] |
Reviewed By: madmiko [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2009 05:25 EDT
Comment/Review:
Chapter 5 was great! I am totally embarrassed to say I forgot I hadn't written out my review here. *headdesk* So, I re-read the chapter, which was a treat!, and jotted down fresh comments to go from. I really, really loved Mama going to meet Genkai to express her concerns about Kagome's training and about Hiei, in general. I think it was a very realistic thing for her to do. Her description of Inuyasha as being both happy and despairing as he left Kagome with her family after they defeated Naraku and Kagome got rid of the jewel just tugged at my heart. I really liked the way you had Mama explain her perception of their relationship. When Hiei arrived and smarted off and Mama stood up to him, I wanted to cheer. ^_^ She sure set him back on his heels. A person's physical strength or abilities is no measure of the strength of their heart or convictions. Mama showed him what true strength and courage are all about when they are fueled by love. He definitely learned something important there. And I love that he saw Kagome in her mother. Yukina's explanation about red eyes not being a common color even for youkai, unless they are jacked up on their youki was awesome! And her worry that Hiei didn't want to acknowledge her because she was weak really struck the right chord with me--it was a vbery reasonable assumption on her part. I liked the way Kagome assured her how strong she is and praised her healing abilities. That just seemed very "Kagome" to me to recognize a person's true strengths. I think this was an underlying theme running through this chapter and I really liked it. Yukina knows her brother well, and her telling Kagome that he had probably enticed youkai with his hiroseki stone simply to kill them for the pure joy of it showed her understanding of his character. Yet, she was completely non-judgmental, and so was Kagome. (Love that about her!) They both understood his need to control some aspect of his life. I think that also plays out in his plan to take over the Ningenkai and make all the humans zombie-like slaves. But, as Kagome very insightfully pointed out, he isn't one to suffer fools gladly and he would very quickly have grown bored, or more likely, irritated by the need to constantly control them. I love the progression you showed in their relationship with him starting to walk her home after attacking her. ^_^ You showed it again when he told the youkai who grabbed Souta that he doesn't let others have his possessions. He made a claim on her and her family as being under his protection by doing that. But he got the surprise of his life when he found how truly powerful Kagome is. I am curious about how the youkai had heard that she couldn't hurt him without a bow and arrow. The very fact that youkai have been talking about a powerful miko and that one came for her is worrisome. Further proof of the change in their relationship and his growing respect and feelings for her was the way he stayed at the shrine that night to guard them. You've got me so anxious for more! I'm loving it! ^_^
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Reviewed By: madmiko [MediaMiner Member] On: March 20, 2009 04:24 EDT
Comment/Review:
Chapter 4 is another wonderfully entertaining read. ^_^ I love how much Hiei is enjoying their skirmishes. "This was a good game. He wasn't bored." I think you really summed up a lot about the attraction of the deal, what will be his growing attraction to HER, and about his nature in those two sentences. Love it! I felt SO sorry for Grandpa when Kagome was telling him how ineffective his ofudas are. It was for his own good, but it just made me want to hug him. I enjoyed hearing Mama's thoughts about feeling better about Kagome's travels because Miroku and Sango were along. It makes sense she would have hoped for someone with more maturity to accompany her. (Heck, her young, unmmaried daughter was traveling with a young, unmarried half-dog boy. She would have been grateful for the chaperonage, if nothing else. LOL!) Heh heh! I giggled at Mama's first impression of Hiei. He is not going on the "prospective son-in-law" list. ^_~ That was a really nice way to work in Kagome's age for us--with her encounter with the bat youkai. And I loved the progression of the relationship you are already showing between them. It's very gradual, but his growing respect for her and her seeing how honorable he is and recognizing that for good when he kept her Grandpa from being seriously injured during their fight is very evident. (I also liked the slight progression you showed of her further encounters with Kurama, too. ^_~) You have set a wonderful pace in this and I am enjoying it immensely. ^_^
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Reviewed By: ice vixen x On: March 19, 2009 18:06 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Another great chapter. Nice how you are making hiei's growing relationship subtle in a hiei way. I believe it. Wonder what was with the attack... hm. Well keep up the great work and ttfn... ^_~
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Reviewed By: madmiko [MediaMiner Member] On: March 15, 2009 18:45 EDT
Comment/Review:
The third chapter is great! (Sorry I haven't reviewed this sooner. I don't know why I haven't been receiving alerts for this since the story and YOU are both on my faves lists.) The back-and-forth between Hiei and Kagome is so much fun in this. You've caught their characterizations just right. I really liked the part where Kurama was thinking about the fact that even though they had just attacked her, Kagome was sitting down with them socially and being friendly. The fact that she was not afraid of Hiei was not lost on him. I particularaly liked your description of the Tajiya as the "bogeymen of the Makai." That just seemed so perfectly appropriate. Lovely touch! And I was so impressed with the way you incorporated the canon story of Kagome's use of the hairspray early in her adventures. Genkai's amusement at her taking so many modern products back in time was great. ^_^ And you had me giggling over Hiei's satisfaction at his deduction that Kouga must have been one of the dozens of youkai she had killed. I could absolutely picture his astonishment when she told him no. And I loved the way you managed to bring Shippou into the story with Youko's connection to him. The idea of Shippou pursuing him for so long over that picture is very appealing. And you got me again when Kurama told Kagome that "Hiei doesn't usually play well with others." LOL! But, I think the thing I loved most in this chapter was the idea you introduced that Kagome's barriers being pink was "antiquated." It made perfect sense that in the day and time when Kaede was protecting her village, mikos might have intentionally tinted their barriers pink as a warning to youkai of their holy powers. It goes with the red and white miko outfit. I applaud you for that! And I am looking forward to Hiei "helping" Kagome in her training. I promise I will get those next two chapters read and reviewed very soon--I want to be sure I have time to write out all my thoughts about them. Great work!
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Reviewed By: Hawaiianhoney2030 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 15, 2009 04:43 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i am in LOVE with this fic. i cant wait to read the next chapter! i love the bickering between Kagome and Hiei lol. this has become one of my favorite fics. please update soon ^_^
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Reviewed By: Yue no Rei On: March 15, 2009 02:45 EDT
Comment/Review:
I didn't honestly mean you were bringing Youko across as obnoxious, just simply some friendly advice XDDDD Hmm.. surprising how news travels so fast huh. Looks like everything has their work cut out for them. Heh, about Hiei saying her training is nothing, well I'm sure he knows but obviously wouldn't enlighten her that not everyone is fit for training meant for Yusuke (cos hes just one of those insane, super progress when there is extreme pressure types) or Youkai. Super!training can be rather unstable as well afterall. Nice chapter though
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Reviewed By: my3rdeyes [MediaMiner Member] On: March 15, 2009 02:43 EDT
Comment/Review:
it's getting better every chapter.keep up the good work!!
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Title: coolio
Reviewed By: ice vixen x On: March 13, 2009 01:09 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm lovin this story. Don't stop here. Keep up the good work and i'll review ya later... ^_~
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Reviewed By: Yue no Rei On: March 09, 2009 02:10 EDT
Comment/Review:
Hmmm interesting.. honestly though I have to admit I wish Youko weren't quite so openly perverted enough to seem stupid when he backs down from arguments with Shuichi. I dunno, to me, I feel he needs to be a little more "elegant" In a way. But Nice to see such a quick update, Kagome is learning
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Reviewed By: ShinkanNeko [MediaMiner Member] On: March 08, 2009 16:04 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
hmmm yes I did enjoy this chapter...I still think that your going a little fast it needs more meat...more in depth scenes...more dialog...but other then that it was very entertaining...
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Reviewed By: delunatic On: March 08, 2009 09:21 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I can't wait to read more!Kagome is really trying to push Hiei's buttons!
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Reviewed By: Yue no Rei On: March 07, 2009 19:03 EST
Comment/Review:
Hoho, I can just see those random attacks coming up now, and Mama Higurashi just in the background ignoring them while Souta cheers them on like its some video game XD
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Reviewed By: Dusken_Dreamer53 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 04, 2009 02:00 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay- I finally caved. I've been seeing this fic posted for weeks now and only just decided to read it (you know how many other things are on my alert list?). I'm insane to actually even think of subscribing to a new story with everything else I have to finish but hell- I'm probably more 'mental' than Hiei thinks Kagome is. Keep up the good work! -Dusken_Dreamer
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Reviewed By: madmiko [MediaMiner Member] On: March 03, 2009 21:31 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
The second chapter was every bit as good as the first. ^_^ I loved the meeting between Kagome and Genkai. Once again, you captured the character's way of speaking very well. And I loved the way you made sure we all remembered the setting is japan with the comment "This apple seemed to have fallen in a different prefecture altogether!" Brilliant touch. ^_~ Her first meeting with Hiei was certainly memorable. I think that was a very likely way for them to meet, too. They both reacted exactly the way I would expect them to. Having Kurama rush in and attack her, too, merely reinforced Kagome's determination to protect the others. That's the Kagome I love. Hiei's comment at the end cracked me up, too. Obviously, these two got off on the wrong foot with each other. Love it!
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Reviewed By: ShinkanNeko [MediaMiner Member] On: March 03, 2009 00:25 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hmmm...not bad it seems a little rushed but the story has promise...i'll look forward to more
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