| "Welcome To Slavery" Reviews/Comments [ 69 ] |
| Pages (5): [ « < 1 2 3 4 5 > » ] |
Reviewed By: ChaosEnd [MediaMiner Member] On: April 06, 2003 23:52 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great fic so far, I was wondering *hoping*, is there something between Ryou and Bakura? Ryou seemed defensive about sleeping in the same bed with him, and jumped to conclusions when Yami asked if he loved him. Maybe you could pair them up?
Okay, for some tips, I've noticed that sometimes, your grammar is off. Just remember, your is used when something belongs to you, you own it, ect. You're is used when saying "you are" as in, you're a wonderful authoress. There is used for placement,ect- It's over there, There are five of them. Their is used to show possession- That is their car. They're is used for saying "they are", as in, your fics, well, they're great.
Hope that helped! Keep up the great writing^.^ |
Reviewed By: wyrd On: April 03, 2003 20:38 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is really good; I'm glad you at least know how to use spellcheck.
Love how you make the characters!
This is just a question, but are all of your pairings going to be boy/boy? |
Reviewed By: leila15rose On: April 06, 2003 18:55 CDT
Comment/Review:
This whole fan-fic is going great! Keep it up! |
Reviewed By: White Phoenix On: April 02, 2003 23:41 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love this! I like this almost as much as 'Father, Mother, Lover'. Keep it up! ^_^ |
Reviewed By: Shorty* On: March 29, 2003 15:54 CST
Comment/Review:
Ah, lovely story. Difficult decision at the end of Ch. 7 for Ryou. I suppose it'd be rather difficult to have both... hmm. Can't wait to see how you solve this! ^-^; |
Reviewed By: Cody Thomas On: March 25, 2003 20:48 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Don't you DARE leave off there!!!! More now! update soon I'm begging you! |
Reviewed By: pingpong [MediaMiner Member] On: March 14, 2003 08:15 CST
Comment/Review:
PP- Upate!!
YPP- Yeah!!
PP-? You were reading it?
YPP- O.OU nooo...
PP- ^_^ Yeah you were!!! O well, you have to update soon!! |
Reviewed By: pingpong [MediaMiner Member] On: March 13, 2003 09:15 CST
Comment/Review:
PP- /evil grin/ |
Reviewed By: Mononoke [MediaMiner Member] On: March 12, 2003 17:19 CST
Comment/Review:
The city!!! Yay! How will Bakura react to seeing Ryou with Yami?! I wanna know!!! |
Reviewed By: Ayumu! On: March 11, 2003 19:16 CST
Comment/Review:
That was lemony fresh! Lol. Good chappy. What do Oyasumi and Ousama mean? o_O; No idea there. ^_^; |
Reviewed By: Mononoke [MediaMiner Member] On: March 10, 2003 19:06 CST
Comment/Review:
what does Ousama and Oyasumi mean? good lemon too! |
Reviewed By: pingpong [MediaMiner Member] On: March 10, 2003 09:00 CST
Comment/Review:
PP-^_^ Neato!!! I like it, I like it a lot!!! |
Reviewed By: lupusdragon [MediaMiner Member] On: March 11, 2003 10:50 CST
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow! This is really turning out well. It seemed a little cliche at first, but you are keeping it interesting with the twists of the secondary relationships. It would be cool if you developed those a little more.
I look foward to your next update! |
Reviewed By: pingpong [MediaMiner Member] On: March 07, 2003 09:54 CST
Comment/Review:
I haven't even got as far as the second paragraph when some thing is bothering me. Ur Bizarre is acually spelled Bazaar. Ok I'll finish the chappie and complaine then. ^_^ |
Reviewed By: firedryad [MediaMiner Member] On: March 11, 2003 11:53 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
if theres one thing i really like about this fic, its that yami is wonderfully in character. more than most fics of him either being mean to his fic (cuz the real yami wouldnt do that i think) so keep it up^^. |
| Pages (5): [ « < 1 2 3 4 5 > » ] |
