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| "Unfaithful" Reviews/Comments [ 50 ] | | Pages (4): [ 1 2 3 4 › » ] | Reviewed By: BelBDS On: January 19, 2018 17:39 PST
Comment/Review:
I'm so sorry to say that but at tims it truly was horrid to read
this story. I can't believe how you turned bulma into this helpless
being not remotely using an ounce of her brains. I'm not even
looking for accurate characterization, but a good, exciting one was
totally missing.
| Reviewed By: vegeta's_chew_toy [MediaMiner Member] On: January 18, 2011 05:17 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Really liked this story! You're an awesome writer! This had to one of the few stories that really made me feel connected to the characters. I was crying, raging, and just feeling so empathic it was just.... heh:D Kudos to you! | Title: the end
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 21, 2008 03:38 PST
Comment/Review:
Wow, I can't beliee this journey's over, I really enjoyed reading this fantastic story, I'm still left wanting more, but that's what happens when you read a good fic. I felt sorry for Kakarrot and Chi Chi I think they deserved to be happy, but I guess it shows the many different sides to Vegeta, he's not a saint.I was a bit surprised with Magdelene's menapause but then I found it very funny, especially when she pushed the old man in the market :"It was people like him that made menopause feel a hell of a lot better." that made me laugh so much, lol. And the Raditz and Maylene courtship was funny too, the way Raditz tried to be cool, lol, I can't believe he said "I was fashionably late". I think Magdelene's menapuse was also meant as symbolism, as it represented the end, and it serves as a stark contrast to Bulma (the new queen) pregnant, rebirth vs Magdelene who no longer has that ability, a sort of life and death contrast, beginning and end. When Magdelene then passes on the throne to Vegeta and Bulma it seems a natural progression, the old must give way to the new. I can't believe it's over. I would love to see you write more epics, I enjoyed your depiction of saiyan society, the intrigues of empire, rule, war, love, angst and darkness.
| Title: CH35
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2008 14:50 PST
Comment/Review:
One part about this chapter which had me chuckling was when Yamucha said after finding out that Vegeta is on his way :"Fuck," Yamcha muttered, more to himself than to Lady Briefs. "What the hell is Vejita doing?" Lady Briefs raised an eyebrow. Her expression mocked Yamcha's serious situation. "Coming to murder you, I suppose." For a mean b*tch, Lady Briefs has one sick sense of humour, lol. The rest of the chapter...woh, Maylene's blunt cold realism is quite shocking at times yet understandable, she seems to follow reason, numbing or silencing her emotions. Which is why when they discovered Bulma and she broke down crying, it was heartwrenching, because it was so unexpected, the sight must have been so horrific, that even some one like maylene was brought to tears. And then When Queen Magdelene began to cry, with the sound of Vegeta on the transmitter, it just really heightened the dramatic intensity, it was a really raw chapter, Bulma on the floor, bloodied like a broken fallen angel. Vegeta's response got me fired up I just can't wait till he arrives, and hopefully deals with yamcha.
| Title: ch33
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2008 14:01 PST
Comment/Review:
I really felt for Bulma in this chapter, her pain, her anguish, I can't believe she is cutting herself, but then what other option has she got, she has been through worse than hell, I just hope this is the worst of it, and that Bulma doesn't die, she has endured so much it can't be the end, Lady Briefs and Yamcha can't be the victors in this.
| Title: ch32
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2008 13:34 PST
Comment/Review:
The unjust cruelty which the saiyans are employing in their handling of the civilians makes me doubt post-war peace between earth and Vegetesei. It seems their will be a heavy sacrifice before this war is over, i'm not sure who it will be, Vegeta's death, Bulma's, Kakkarrot's, Chi chi's? or maybe Magdelene? I wish none of them had to die, but it seems as if the fates won't be so kind in this war. Also, I don't trust Valyn, although he is giving the saiyans aid with technology, his lack of commitment to the truce, leads me to question his intentions. And was that spiritual communication that occurred for a brief moment between Vegeta and Bulma, is it to do with their bond, there was mention of Valyn's scryer breaking, does he have spiritual power of some kind? I hope that Vegeta's breaking of the glass scryer and subsequent breaking of the connection does not presage anything for the future. One other thing the text for this chapter on mediaminer is frustrating to read for some reason, clumped together, I read it on fanfiction.net instead.
| Title: ch27
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2008 11:29 PST
Comment/Review:
Vegeta is..oh my gosh, I, man I don't even know what to say, I hope that he won't turn out like his father, his control is practically non existant, there is perhaps only a slither of an ammount left, due to his love for Bulma which reigns him in, yet his feelings, emotions for Bulma are also the very things which are causing him to be irrational manic, more dangerous. I can't believe he would suggest contaminating the earth water with poison. I hope Queen Magdelene can find answers.
| Title: ch26
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2008 10:18 PST
Comment/Review:
It seems Yamucha has finally succeeded in breaking Bulma, I can't believe that he is going to make the children fight in the war. I dread to see what will happen when this Iliadic battle really begins.
| Title: Ch22
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2008 05:43 PST
Comment/Review:
I still can't believe the saiyans let the ship get away, it seems a bit implausible, and I don't see why Turles was assigned to watch Bulma leave, if Kakarrot couldn't do anything, then I'm not sure what he could do. I wonder, if Yamucha can mange to escape from Vegetasei so easily, then what hope do they have when they attack earth? I think I am so eager for Yamucha to get destroyed that I can't wait; I'm sure it will come I just have to be patient I want Bulma to slit Yamcha's throat, I can't believe this story is inspiring this out of me, lol.
| Title: ch21
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2008 05:07 PST
Comment/Review:
I can't believe how far things have spiralled out of control, what was Vegeta thinking, I know war couldn't be helped, but I feel he made it worse for her without insuring that she would be safe. And also, you have shown in your story that both Kakarrot and Vegeta have the instant transmission technique, it seems a bit odd that they didn't use it then, when they needed it more than ever. I'm really enjoying this story though, it just grips me from the first chapter, i'm addicted. And I love the song My Immortal and think it is definitely perfect for this fic.
| Title: ch19
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2008 04:37 PST
Comment/Review:
foreboding sense of doom right about now, i fear it won't end well at all, i'm trying to think of the possible endings and none of them sound happy, when Bulma fantasises about how her life might be on Vegetesei, it seems like it's just that, a fantasy, that it won't be reality. And I can't believe Vegeta killed Nathalia, already innocent blood has been shed, and I wonder what else about Bulma's premonition will come true.
| Title: ch17
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2008 03:44 PST
Comment/Review:
That was such a sad chapter I can't believe Yamcha and the pain he is inflicting on Bulma, I almost braced myself as I felt that Vegeta might risk discovery and do something or that Bulma would finally decide that enough was enough. And then that final scene where Vegeta comforted her so beautiful, so poignant.
| Title: ch15
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2008 02:38 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I hope Nathalia can be trusted, I don't know why i am worrying, she is loyal to bulma not just as a servant but a friend too; I just hope she won't be put in a situation which she might not be able to handle. Although it seems like Bulma and Vegeta's secret meeting are very dangerous,even moreso with the alibi of meeting to discuss politics, i think that makes it worse...but the pleasure calm and bliss that Bulma experiences in Vegeta's presence, might make it worth it, I say might because I wonder how much she will have to sacrifice; especially if that painting of the whiterobbed woman with the dagger surrounded by bloodshed is anything to go by.
| Title: CH7
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2008 18:28 PST
Comment/Review:
Wow I am so impressed with the character of Queen Vegeta, she is an amzing woman. I wonder if her relationship with King Vegeta and his much deserved death will forcast Yamcha's end. I thought the love song between Bulma and Vegeta was beautiful, the saiyan mating ritual reminded me of the cry of songbirds. Man, i really want Bulma to regain the courage to let her fire blaze strongly as it once did. It flickers, but I fear yamcha may extinguish the flame completely, hopefully the red dessert and chaotic oceans of Vegetesei, along with its wild spirit will arouse her.
| Title: ch 2
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2008 17:13 PST
Comment/Review:
This is a remarkable story, you really capture Bulma's anguish, I hope she finds the escape she needs on Vegetesei, and I really want Yamucha to get what's coming to him.
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