|
| "Teaching Goku" Reviews/Comments [ 88 ] | | Pages (6): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 ] | Reviewed By: Kiba-chan not logged in On: May 07, 2005 06:35 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ooooh, what a great new chapter! I LOVE Gojyo's confrontation with Sanzo. Now you almost have me hoping for this to end up SanzoxGoku and GojyoxHakkai. Almost. You have Hakkai's character down so well, he's all mysterious and stuff. ;) I love that. Don't worry about OOC, I thought everyone was particualrly IN character in this chapter. The only thing I want to mention is pronoun confusion. I run into this problem too; when you're writing about four men, you tend to have a lots of 'he' and 'him' and 'his' in your paragraphs, and sometimes it's hard to figure out who you're talking about. My trick is to think up creative alternates to use instead of pronouns. (the kid, the boy, the youth, the golden-eyed youth, the monkey, the ape, the brunette, the child etc.) Just something to mention. It sure bugs me in my stories, so I know it's hard, but it's not impossible to fix. Anyway, I can't wait to see where you're going with this. You almost have me thinking the pairings might change entirely by the end of the story. I really don't care who ends up with who, your writing is such that I'm simply enjoying the ride. Update soon!
| Reviewed By: Mala Darkling [MediaMiner Member] On: May 06, 2005 20:28 CDT
Comment/Review:
Oi. Well, for starters, really, really, really hot. Sanzo/Hakkai never occurred to me, but it makes sense. For a yaoi author, you did a good job of putting the girls in. I like how you characterized everybody, and the little details you put in spiced it up. (Hakkai a mother hen! haha, that is too good...) Goku is...perfect. Everything. And that last bit, the "declaration," was so in character, hilarious, and...well lot's o' things. Don't you dare leave us hanging!
| Reviewed By: Devil_n_blue [MediaMiner Member] On: April 30, 2005 02:56 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Comment/Review:
Poor Goyjo what's a poor water sprite to do. *giggles* I love it and can't wait to read more
| Reviewed By: kiba-chan not logged in On: April 26, 2005 15:57 CDT
Comment/Review:
Nice :) I liked the scene where Gojyo was buying the condoms. XD
| Reviewed By: Kiba-Chan [MediaMiner Member] On: April 14, 2005 11:20 CDT
Comment/Review:
Nice :) I usually don't like Goku in any of the sex, but you've done it pretty well. He still seems a bit... young, but not bad at all. I can't wait to see what Sanzo does to Gojyo... Update soon!
| Title: Sanzo goin to kill Gojyo.
Reviewed By: Jeda On: April 14, 2005 07:57 CDT
Comment/Review:
A fun ride! Keep it goin! Sanzo better do something or Goku gonna fall for Gojyo. Hee! Hee!
| Title: OMG!!!!
Reviewed By: MangaChild420 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 09, 2005 12:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love it so much!!!!! please continue I absolutely love it!!!!!! THE STORY IS THE BEST I HAVE READ IN A WHILE NOW!!!! HOPE YOU CONTINUE AND I WILL HOPEFULLY CONTINUE TO REVIEW!!!! ~MangaChild420~
| | Pages (6): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 ] |
|
|
