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| "Himitsu" Reviews/Comments [ 77 ] | | Pages (6): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 › » ] | Reviewed By: RowinaDequina16 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 01, 2006 20:15 CST
Comment/Review:
You've captured the aftermath of infidelity perfectly. Goku's thoughts reflect his incomprehension of his own acts, his impression of being dissociated from his own body (when he sees his hands as unfamiliar, when he jumps V before he's even conscious of the act), his guilt and his feeling that it's impossible to hide. His honesty with himself is touching; his failure to be honest with Chi Chi is distressing, because he does realize that it's only a matter of time. Will he be strong and tell her? And V--obviously not being honest with himself, thinking he could just come over and say "it's over", especially to G in the bathtub...Their kiss, their closeness was intense, as usual--they are going to spontaneously combust. And they kiss with their eyes open! Superb chapter--bravo, and many thanks.
| Title: chapter 15
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy (not loggeg in) On: February 27, 2006 10:38 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
absolutely fantastic from the very beginning the tension that you created has slowly but steadily been buiding up, in small increments at first but then taking bolder leaps and bounds so intense and thick that its almost tangible, reaching its peak and climaxing in this remarkable chapter. You are a very talented writer I love the way you depict the characters the trace of pain in Vegeta's voice as he almost begs Goku not to let him continue, fearing the aftermath of what could happen if they crossed that point yet desiring it even more. The interactions between Bulma and Goku are very sweet, I'm quite perplexed at the situation between them two yet immensely fascinated, for his desire for Bulma seems to go beyond lust yet at the same time his passion for Vegeta seems more violently intense. I liked the way you depict how Goku has discovered his own heaven, yet not in the conventional christian sense, however even when in the midst of this heaven with vegeta it seemed permeated with the blazing heat of hell, whether its pure or impure i'm not sure, maybe it doesn't matter. The scene where Vegeta discovered Goku kissing Bulma I questioned whether he's angry because of the fact Goku was kissing his wife or jealous because he was not kissing him. He wants Him but he doesn't want Him to want his wife. The image of the melting snow turning to water as the heat between them increased was just beautiful. I'm also wondering about Goten where exactly is he sneaking off to? does he have a secret too is he sneaking off to taste the sin of a certain lavender haired Prince lol just seemed a bit suspicous as his absense is never explained. I look forward to your next update, this has been a brilliant story. p.s. Goku's characterization is dynamite his internal monologues are so insightful and entertaining
| Reviewed By: RowinaDequina16 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 23, 2006 21:24 CST
Comment/Review:
Well, this was another click-away chapter, as in "OMG! No! Not that!" When K walks off with B, and again when V walks up--I just clicked right out of there! It's just too emotional, too intense for me to ride it out. I have to go away and breathe, and brace myself for the next few lines. You've got me by my heart and lungs, in a powerful grip, and I feel like you just squeeze at will. The second time I read this chapter, after a few days interval, I didn't click away, but the way you piled on the emotions, by the end of the chapter I felt that their relief, real as it was, was so wrenchingly insignificant in light of their need, that it might as well have never happened. Their release can only unleash more need--will there ever be any completion or satisfaction for these two? I despair.
| Reviewed By: X On: February 23, 2006 20:00 CST
Comment/Review:
um is this a yoai fic it seems that way i just wanna know for my future knowlege in the storyline
| Reviewed By: Evil_Vegeta [MediaMiner Member] On: February 22, 2006 07:01 CST
Comment/Review:
I just don't have words for this. I can't wait till the next chapter. I wish I could come over and force you to start on the next chapter but I know that I can't. That won't be nice :P but this is really, really erotic in any way. So perfect. Thank you for sharing such a story with us. Thank you. Please go on. Much Love Evil-Vegeta
| Title: Himitsu
Reviewed By: (maccam) On: February 20, 2006 19:37 CST
Comment/Review:
I'm taking a cold shower will be back for the next chapter.....beep.. *Claps* Now hurry and write more ok!!!!!!
| Reviewed By: TT On: February 20, 2006 15:37 CST
Comment/Review:
This is a very long sex/fighting scene but so intense it left me breathless.
| Reviewed By: elenek *not logged in* On: February 20, 2006 13:24 CST
Comment/Review:
"Author's Notes 1. I actually can't think of anything to say right now..." That's OK. Neither can I.
| Reviewed By: MaraiTrunks [MediaMiner Member] On: February 17, 2006 19:47 CST
Comment/Review:
Jeez ... It's amazing how little things can make such a big difference. I wonder What'll happen at the party. I'm looking forawrd to the next chapter!
| Reviewed By: Webtester01 (not logged in) On: February 11, 2006 02:14 CST
Comment/Review:
Supurb(sp?)! I really enjoyed this chapter (14). It flows so well and the emotions are running high. Somethings gotta give, or one or both will cross their breaking point in a place and time most diasterous. Keep up the great work.
| Reviewed By: RowinaDequina16 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 10, 2006 19:31 CST
Comment/Review:
FANTASTIC chapter! And it was so long, what a treat! The confrontation, the straight talk--beautiful, so well-paced. The "consultation" with Piccolo made me laugh, but wouldn't it be nice for G if he could unburden himself? Your writing just flows, it's such a pleasure. Eagerly anticipating the next chapter!
| Reviewed By: RowinaDequina16 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 29, 2006 19:39 CST
Comment/Review:
This is such a great fic! Sorry I haven't reviewed earlier *raps knuckles with the metal ruler*. As a faithful, eager reader I promise I'll do better. Honestly, the first few chapters--well, actually until Goku actually succeeded in fighting his obsession to some uncertain extent--they drove me absolutely bananas. That tension was painful, and nerve-wracking, and look-away-from-the-screen disturbing. It wasn't sexual tension exactly, although the scenes were very erotic, beautifully written. My feeling was more "DANGER DANGER!!". I just wanted to haul Goku outta there. Fear for his soul. The last couple of chapters, but especially this one, have been creating that other kind of tension, that sweet delicious, when-they-gonna-get-naked anticipation. The savagery, the brutality of their fights--what fantastic foreplay! So get 'em naked, already! Just joking. I totally trust your story-crafter instincts on this--I'm so enjoying the ride. You use your gifts well. Oh, and the fanart companion piece. . . *fights waves of lust* very niiiice. MOOOORE. I want to see G biting the prince's leg (wasn't it his leg?)--is that disturbed?
| Title: Himitsu
Reviewed By: Cooey [MediaMiner Member] On: January 27, 2006 07:26 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Tension building in this fic! Just want to keep on reading...
| Title: OMG!!
Reviewed By: bdegrees [MediaMiner Member] On: January 26, 2006 02:36 CST
Comment/Review:
You are killing me!!! I feel Goku's pain. The suspense is just about driving me as crazy. Great chapter!!
| Reviewed By: raccly er 17 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 25, 2006 15:34 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This fic's been doin great so far.Its kept my atention, made me wonder, made me think, and makes me wanna read more. But, no afence, its gettin kinda boring for me ta keep read chaps of them just fighting while horny as hell. It kept me even more intrested when there were more characters involved, instead of mentioned, or having Chichi and Goten... again, no afence, but Im more of a B/V fan and don't really mind Goku in the mind, but fics were they just fight kinda makes me lose focus and drift from the fic or hold off r&ring it.
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