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| "Ultimatum" Reviews/Comments [ 109 ] | | Pages (8): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 › » ] | Title: wow
Reviewed By: Jennyxoox [MediaMiner Member] On: January 15, 2009 17:11 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really enjoy reading this story keep the chapters coming great work:)
| Reviewed By: loretta537 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 14, 2009 04:34 EST
Comment/Review:
oh my, hiei is in kagome's body this will be interesting. i wonder if miko powers will stay with kagome's soul or her body, will hiei be able to use them and the dragon? thank you for the update it was a great birthday present.
| Reviewed By: Little Red [MediaMiner Member] On: January 14, 2009 01:55 EST
Comment/Review:
I love the story so far, and have officially added it to my favorites... I love the originality and I adore how you've twisted Kagome's personality. I just wish you would make the chapters a little longer, not only for my selfish reasons of just simply wanting more to read, but for the general appeal. When I think about starting a new fanfic I take into account how long the chapters are on average, and I must say, yours are below what I usually accept....
| Reviewed By: darknessmoon [MediaMiner Member] On: January 14, 2009 00:28 EST
Comment/Review:
nice! hiei in kagome's body... wow...koenma is gonna die!
| Reviewed By: inu_luver_2004 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 07, 2009 20:36 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
It was great! I must say we have missed you- welcome back!
| Title: Ch 20
Reviewed By: lavie [MediaMiner Member] On: January 07, 2009 04:30 EST
Comment/Review:
So...Is Kagome dead...bring her back! I look forward to your next chapter! Ja ne!
| Reviewed By: uniquewithoutu [MediaMiner Member] On: November 19, 2008 23:15 EST
Comment/Review:
WOW...this story has sucked me in. Please update soon!
| Reviewed By: machille18 On: November 17, 2008 15:19 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
is that really the end? or was that just a cliff hanger? just asking because at the top it says completed and I dont see how that could be an ending, it reads as if you intended to continue..... and i really hope it's the latter because I really enjoyed reading this
| Reviewed By: babygirl20008 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 15, 2008 15:06 EST
Comment/Review:
Great chap. But i have a question, what is he going to tell Kagome's mom? well untill next time
| Reviewed By: madmiko [MediaMiner Member] On: November 14, 2008 03:41 EST
Comment/Review:
It's very late and I'm very tired, so I'm just going to ask a couple of quick questions and try to remember to get back and leave a proper review soon. Why did they take her soul out of her body? I thought they were going to wipe her mind--what does her soul have to do with that? That really threw me. So did the statement that a soul had never been returned after being forcefully removed. Not so! Kagome's soul was forcefully removed from her body when Kikyou was resurrected. And it was successfully returned, except for the piece Kikyou was able to hold on to. I'm also not sure why they would have hooked Kagome up to a saline solution or anything else. If her body was still functioning, basically like a person in a vegetative state, they wouldn't have needed to do anything like that for a while, if at all. She could be fed. And why bother when they were getting ready to turn her over to Naraku to torture? He sure wouldn't be hooking her up to anything. And she wouldn't need to be "turned" after a few hours. Of course, if they removed her soul, instead of just "suckng her brain," her body should be "dead," like Yusuke's was, and she wouldn't have her eyes open looking around. "She" may not be able to die without her soul being complete, but her body without any of her soul could. I have to confess I think it would serve Yusuke and the others right for her to be dead and Naraku to refuse to accept her in trade for Keiko now. Of course, if Koenma just killed the spider, then Naraku already knows they wiped her brain. So, he isn't going to make that trade anyway. They blew it. They spilled their plan in front of the spy. And Naraku already had some kind of hold over Hiei and the Jagan and he still does. They have no leverage now. Keiko is a dead girl. I imagine Naraku would kill her in a fit of rage over them taking away his opportunity to get the jewel from Kagome. So, they gained nothing and blackened their own souls in the process. I really loved your cliffy, btw. The others are searching for Hiei and he is caught in Naraku's web. (Of course, I realize you could pull a REALLY sweet move on us and have it that Hiei never really came to and he IS the one whose brain got "sucked" and he's living these nightmares. Heh heh! Well, except for the parts where he wasn't involved--I suppose the scene with the others realizing the spider was the spy and then went to look for him put the kibosh on that possibility. Shucks.) Anyway, it's an awesome cliffhanger. ^_^
| Reviewed By: Broken Tainted Wings [MediaMiner Member] On: November 13, 2008 22:13 EST
Comment/Review:
You are evil... so very evil and cruel. But I suppose that it works out, but please... PLEASE! update soon.
| Title: Don't make us wait
Reviewed By: inu_luver_2004 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 12, 2008 20:32 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love this fic. It has action, comedy, and even a few hints at romance. It is great please up date soon!!
| Reviewed By: Starlet Angel [MediaMiner Member] On: October 24, 2008 08:21 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ooo! I'm really enjoying this story! Something a little different from the usual vein. Keep writing and I'll certainly keep reading. Thank you for the original story!
| Reviewed By: hellfire95X [MediaMiner Member] On: September 27, 2008 13:54 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Nice cliffy, Please update soon this is getting so good!
| Reviewed By: madmiko, notsigned in On: September 26, 2008 23:44 EDT
Comment/Review:
Here I haven't even had time to review chapter 17 and you already have another chapter up! You've really been busy! ^_^ So, I'll start with chapter 17. The idea behind the chapter was good--I know you wanted to have Hiei and Kagome actually spend some time together and get to know each other. That was a good way to do it. And I liked the back and forth of their banter. It's very IC of Kagome to give back as good as she gets. But Hiei's part of the conversation seemed very OOC. I actually cringed when he said "Tadah." He was being too dramatic. And I couldn't figure out why he couldn't seem to figure out a lot of things. His denial that they were connected mind-to-mind, after he had just told HER that they were in a dream together again made him seem not too bright. For someone who is a master of mind manipulation, he fell for the door trap awfully easily, too, when even Kagome knew that walking through the door wasn't a way to wake up. (Of course, I'm skipping ahead there to chapter 18.) Kagome's reasoning was odd, too. "It doesn't seem like Naraku is controlling the dream, so you are attracted to me." Huh? He wasn't acting attracted in any way. Which seems to support what he said earlier about the attraction being completely manipulated by Naraku. And they never did figure out how/why they are connected. They figured out how Naraku is connected to Kagome, (that was a nice touch--having him absorb Kikyou and Kikyou having a part of Kagome's soul being the explanation: kudos!), but not how Kagome and Hiei are connected. I did like the leap you made there to say that Kagome is basically immortal without that piece of her soul. I didn't understand what Hiei was saying, though, when he tried to comfort her with "I won't lock you up in a room ... like the one Greek goddess ..." No, he wouldn't lock her in a room--he was going to let her get her brain sucked out. His effort to comfort her seemed out of place, and not because he was awkward trying to do it. It just didn't seem to fit the situation. "Even to his own ears he sounded desperate." The way you worded that makes him sound really OOC. I'll have to do chapter 18's review separately or I'll run out of characters to write. So, I'll just leave off here by summing up that I really liked the idea you had for this chapter, but Hiei's characterization went quite a bit astray. You had a lot of nice, original parts, though, like the Pandora comparison, that really added a lot of flavor and an interesting side to it. ^_^
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