| "Legacy" Reviews/Comments [ 178 ] |
| Pages (12): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 › » ] |
Reviewed By: Vilkath [MediaMiner Member] On: March 31, 2008 01:14 EDT
Comment/Review:
Hmm hard to say how I feel about this story. First off it is written rather well, combining a plot and lemon scenes rather well. Something most fics just can't do, they either have a plot with badly written sex scenes, or good sex scenes with no plot. That being said I think the pace of this story is a little slow. Keitaro went from a virgin wimp to almost constant sex with a blood realative and a nearly mute girl he has no long term plans with. Then it goes on chapter after chapter about the problems at home, and the sex between Haruka and Keitaro. At some point we would liked to see something between the other characters. Then the readers find out just about all the girls in Hinata are lesbians out of no where and going farther with their relationship with each other then they did with Keitaro durring the years. Worst of all I suppose is the fact this story is marked completed, despite the fact it has barely ahd Keitaro comming home after a dozen or more chapters of delaying his return. I really hope this fic wasn't discontinued and was just marked complete for no reason, it would be said to leave it here after countless chapters of drama.
|
Reviewed By: Dom2 On: March 30, 2008 02:04 EDT
Comment/Review:
Sorry, i dont want to flame, but when something will really happens? I want to see more sex for the other girls, and you dont need to use just Keitaro. There is other guys like Seta or even Kentaro. If you dont wanna have they have sex with the girls make at least they dream.
|
Title: Great Chapter
Reviewed By: zerothehero On: March 27, 2008 13:28 EDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Comment/Review:
Nice forshadowing andf whatnot is this chapter. I would of loved to have heard that conversation that took place but now it seems like the girls have come to a agreement of some sorts of how this is going to work out. Also I like that Shinobu reads Motoko's books. Heck it would be funny if everyone in the house does without realizing it.
|
Reviewed By: wacky wacky On: March 26, 2008 22:32 EDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
well i like this story, you for a time seemed to have a lot of sex each chapter which i enjoyed. though i really want to know if he got haruka and even nyamo pregnant as that would piss the girls off even his sister. though i hope he does the sword sisters as i like them so maybe marry one of them as i don't like how his sister is manipulating the others its like she wants to control everything. now thats to much and he should stand up an put his foot down on what and how she tries to control his life and friends? thus a ask for more sex with one or two others besides haruka like motoko and her sister please.
|
Reviewed By: Sicksorrow On: March 26, 2008 00:34 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I can't wait til keitaro retuns to the dorms. I bet it's gonna be intresting. Please keep up the good work!!!
|
Title: 22
Reviewed By: Tezza1502 On: March 25, 2008 09:49 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Once again, we await the homecoming. And Haruka is becoming a little more blatant in delaying their return. I'm guessing its on Hina's orders, rather than a desire to spend more time with Keitaro. Not that she minds, I'll bet! Still, the group hug when Keitaro walks in the door should be interesting. Especially since the Hinata Honies seem to have come to some sort of agreement. Time/share, I'll bet! -- Nice one, getting Sarah out of the house for the return. I can imagine how much havoc she would cause in her efforts to safeguard the girls from Keitaro. Whether they want her to or not. -- No surprises why some of them looked a little green when the Mol-Mol compatibility test was mentioned. I wonder what the criteria are? Guess we'll find out soon enough. -- Still a couple of mysteries to reveal yet. What is it in the Annex that unnerves Tsuruko, for one. The curses, for another. Time will tell, I s'pose. -- Ah well, another great chapter. Another impatient wait. 'Till next time! T
|
Title: go
Reviewed By: someoneelse On: March 25, 2008 00:08 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
was getting spoiled by the multiple chapter updates before. but greatly appreciate even a single chapter. it is really building up for keitaro's return eh? cant wait to see his reaction when he hears their answer. not to mention this compatability test thing sounds like it can be kinda interesting. cant wait till keitaro finally gets back (another two chaps or so?). it seems that when everything is getting resolved sarah wont be around right to protect her from things inappropriate for her age eh. and i hope that everyone finds out the true author of those novels that they are reading
|
Reviewed By: dennisud [MediaMiner Member] On: March 24, 2008 19:54 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Niiiiice one! I so liked how things are building up for his return, and with all that the girls talked about (Which you conveniently left out!) I wonder if he'll have a heat attack with their solution! ;-)
|
Reviewed By: eriste [MediaMiner Member] On: March 24, 2008 16:03 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
*applauds* Wonderful read. Absolutely wonderful. Love Hina is one of my favorite mangas, and you pretty much wrote the perfect fanfic based on it. The misadventures, the citrusy content, the everyone-with-everybody mentality, it all is just, wonderful. I can't think of another word to describe it, except that I am dying for more!
|
Reviewed By: Glaedr [MediaMiner Member] On: March 20, 2008 00:31 EDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I have enjoyed this story so far, can't wait for the updates.
|
Title: Epicness
Reviewed By: zerothehero On: March 17, 2008 18:25 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm in love with this story. Honestly Between this and the other Love hina stories and your Negima fan fiction this might be the most enjoyment I've had reading and looking forward to fan fiction. And coming from a internet junkie like me that's a complement. The kitsune and Tsuruko scene was very good and a nice break to see a another h scene besides Haruka and Keitaro(which I'm not getting tired of really I was just getting antsy for more action.) And Keitaro doing Natsume(Which I believe is her name) was classic. Hope Keitaro gets to have a nice romance scene with Shinobu and Mutusumi(my favorite charcters) Although I rarely make requests to authors about the progression of a story due to various reasons if it's not too much trouble and if you didn't already have the entire story exactly planned out I think it would be cool if you did a chapter of scene where each of the girls gets to have like a date or a special thing with just Keitaro and that person. Now I understand due to the way the plot is set up and because you want to write the way you want that sex may not be in all of these scenes I really don't mind because I enjoy your style so much I think it would be cool just to see what you would write for each girl. Also it could be nice just to see a romantic interlude with each character before Keitaro gets hitched(though if you decide and I hope you do that all the girls share him then that would be very good indeed. Anyway keep the good work. p.s. If that creepy teacher even trys to hurt Shinobu I'm sending my army of flying zombie ninja monkeys to attack him. Really though The way you portrayed him was very good and kind of makes you want to feel sorry him for a little while.
|
Title: 20-21
Reviewed By: nhoj On: March 12, 2008 12:39 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Thanks for the update. I do enjoy how you have Motoko to be such a good writer of those types of novals. Also I wonder why you had Kei sleep with the mother of the woman he is supposed to marry. Ah well you probably have a good reason. Thanks and I can hardly wait for more.
|
Title: 20-21
Reviewed By: Tezza1502 On: March 12, 2008 08:33 EDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Well, once again you have managed to keep me satisfied while driving me up the wall waiting for Keitaro's return to the Hinata. I like the way you are portraying the sexual awakening of the Hinata honies. They are such a repressed little group, aren't they! Of course, dragging out Haruka & Keitaro's journey is a way of ensuring that there will be plenty of surprises to go around when they finally arrive home. -- Hm. Tsuruko and Kitsune share an intimate moment behind the Hinata. (And get sprung by Mutsumi, I think.) Motoko's conversation with her sister later. Both seem to indicate that Kanako & Co. might have less trouble getting the Aoyama's to agree an 'open' marriage than they think. -- It's nice to see Naru begining to think situations through and attempt to see perspectives other than her own, instead of blindly charging in. She's gonna need that skill when Keitaro returns... -- While it was a hot little session, I have trouble believing that Keitaro would not realise that he was in bed with a woman other than Haruka. At least I'm guessing that it was Mutsumi's mother sharing his bed, from the way you wrote the next morning. But that's a minor quibble about another great update. Bring forth the next chapters! T
|
Title: ZOMG!!! (Though I have no Idea what the Z stands for?)
Reviewed By: Scico-Jin [MediaMiner Member] On: March 12, 2008 02:46 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Dude! Keitaro banged Mutsumi's Mom! WITHOUT FUCKING REALIZING IT!!!! Seriously, how can that happen? I know Keitaro isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, but come on! 'Sigh' Well if he found out that the woman was not Haru. He would have most likely have sputtered and blushed in embarrassment, lost most if not all confidence. Good thing he didn't otherwise no fucky sucky. Oh Kitsune and Tsuruko muff diving each other was AWESOME. I wonder who emitted the 'OH My' upon discovering the two woman nude and coated in each others juices. I have some theories, but the most likely culprit would be Mutsumi. You are doing a great job on setting the girls up for sharing a husband, as well as one another. It is looking like Keitaro is going to end up with every female currently living at the Hinata Inn, except for Granny Hina and Amalla.(Unless she is a surprise for the end. Which I kinda doubt since she has not shown any interest in him beyond the Incident in the Hot springs. Of course she has not had the opportunity.) Thank you for your time. This has been a message from the local Nutcase, Scico-Jin.
|
Reviewed By: Sicksorrow On: March 12, 2008 01:44 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I just read your updated work and wow...is all that I can say. They are coming together nicely keep up the good work!!
|
| Pages (12): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 › » ] |
