| "What a mess" Reviews/Comments [ 115 ] |
| Pages (8): [ « < 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 > » ] |
Reviewed By: Mara-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 09, 2003 22:25 CST
Comment/Review:
hey all right, i think this is a great story, i just have a few comments and corrections i'd like to point out. first why exactly does this Lord Kudoh have to have an arranged marriage? second in the second chapter you say "„If a young girl like you is willing to give up his freedom, then it has to be in deep trouble... are the debts THAT high?“ the blonde wanted to know. " and got your pronouns mixed up in what Yohji said. third, how did Mr. Takatori find out about what Ran did?
beyond that, i just finished what you've written so far and wow it is so great! this is so awesome, if you don't update soon i'll cry...
(if you need a beta reader i'm your gal! onejoy1@pobox.com)
Mara |
Reviewed By: Sylph On: March 09, 2003 13:43 CST
Comment/Review:
Ha. I knew he knows, but didn't expect him to be vengeful. Ran's gonna get it for trying to fool Youji. Fun, fun, fun. |
Reviewed By: babaca [MediaMiner Member] On: March 07, 2003 21:52 CST
Comment/Review:
Very cute chapter. I figured Yoji probably knew Ran wasn't a girl, but I wonder when he will let Ran know that he knows (and obviously doesn't care). Sneaky Yoji ... of course I don't know how much longer will he be able to fool Ran by seducing him into unconsciousness. |
Reviewed By: sakkai On: March 16, 2003 18:20 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
keep the story going its sooo good. what other stories did you make up? |
Reviewed By: MookieNH [MediaMiner Member] On: March 07, 2003 04:46 CST
Comment/Review:
Well I was hoping that Yohji was smart enough to figure it out! Kinda makes one wonder how long he's known.
The rose petal on the bed...nice touch. |
Reviewed By: Aisha_Max [MediaMiner Member] On: March 06, 2003 21:52 CST
Comment/Review:
That was great! Hehe! Youji knows, Youji knows, Youji knows...heheheh I loved it!!!! Things are really getting interesting now. I was sooo pleased when I saw that you had updated and even more when I read the chapter. Though the lemon scene wasn't as drawn out as I like them but it was still pretty good for a starter. I hope we see more lemons later on! ^_~ And I hope you update soon. I always look forward to reading a new addition to your story. |
Reviewed By: nakashi On: March 04, 2003 16:01 CST
Comment/Review:
i have no clue why i'm writing another review but hey the story is great! |
Reviewed By: Nakashi On: March 04, 2003 15:58 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great story!!!!!!!!! |
Reviewed By: Nekocin [MediaMiner Member] On: March 02, 2003 13:34 CST
Comment/Review:
I still think you're torturing us with your cliffhangers -_-' the last few chapters were going soo fst that I'm quite hooked up what's going to happen next. Please keep writing ^-^ and who reveal this mysterious person soon... uh... are you pairing Schu with Aya-chan? He's getting jealous, right? PLEASE update soon!!! |
Reviewed By: Nickythetokyoboy On: March 02, 2003 00:29 CST
Comment/Review:
WAH! I am definitely hooked on this fic! I absolutely adore it, so you need to write more soon!! |
Reviewed By: MookieNH [MediaMiner Member] On: March 01, 2003 13:51 CST
Comment/Review:
Well, I see that Ran has managed to avoid discovery yet again. Nice touch, having Yohji playing with the spare key.
I'm kind of interested in Schu's motivation in all this. Hmmm. |
Reviewed By: Randi On: March 01, 2003 09:10 CST
Comment/Review:
:: Cheers on yohji :: Spare keys are good. :) |
Reviewed By: Sayiera [MediaMiner Member] On: February 24, 2003 08:59 CST
Comment/Review:
Oooops! What is poor Ran gonna do now? :) |
Reviewed By: Sardius [MediaMiner Member] On: February 23, 2003 03:50 CST
Comment/Review:
You made me chuckled when I read the last line. ^^; Indeed, what is Ran going to do? Eh? eh? *ahem* Actually I'm more concern about what Evil Schu is planning. Thanks for the update. |
Reviewed By: MookieNH [MediaMiner Member] On: February 22, 2003 19:57 CST
Comment/Review:
Evil evil author! Man, what a place to end the chapter. I can't help but laugh at Ran's dilemma, though. |
| Pages (8): [ « < 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 > » ] |
