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| "Foundations of Neo Genesis" Reviews/Comments [ 97 ] | | Pages (7): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 › » ] | Reviewed By: Zeldagis On: July 10, 2007 12:15 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great story as always! I love how you portrayed Inuyasha in the latest chapter. And Kagome's getting better and better too. Though other people are saying that the Sango from your story does not resemble her manga conterpart at all, I say the opposite. To me, this Sango is the Sango that has been trained to specific rules since the day she was born, like how the manga Sango was brought up before she met her future team-mates. That Sango was never fully developed in the manga, which I found a little disapponiting. With you trying to develop that unknown side of Sango is quite surpising since it should be challanging. But you portray that Sango very well, which I'm very happy about. Thank you for sharing this story with us, and update whenever you can.
| Reviewed By: Salemir On: July 10, 2007 11:57 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I didn't quite enjoy reading that Inuyasha had a 'thing' with another girl who wasn't Kagome, but I guess that it was needed for the plot. And you planned the events of the last chapter really good, so who am I to complain. Please don't give up on this story and keep on writing on it, it just keeps getting more and more interessting. Thank you.
| Reviewed By: Anon Inu Fan On: June 18, 2007 22:28 EDT
Comment/Review:
Great chapter. It is nice to see you post something after so long. I was thinking that you had given up but please don't. I have to say I'm a bit upset over Inu having casual sex with some random girl from the group but then under the circumstances, which you laid out very well by the way, I can understand it. I'm a prude sometimes, well most the time, but anyway it makes my skin crawl to see him with someone other than Kagome. The way you wrote it was nicely done and with taste. The attempted rape thing is also understandable. Anyway, please don't stop it is a great story and if you need help, I'll hook up the car battery while you hold your muse and we'll give im' a good bit of shock theropy. *evil grin* Well maybe that would be a bit much but we all want more. Thanks for the great chapter.
| Reviewed By: Maloy [MediaMiner Member] On: June 18, 2007 11:47 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Mmm! I was so happy to get the update notice! I like this chapter very much. You're getting better and better^__^ I love the way you're portraying InuYasha. And it's good that you take your time with the love-arc. It's good that IY accepted the 'offer')) I can't wait for more!
| Title: Chapter 15
Reviewed By: Kairi_ On: June 18, 2007 10:11 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
You know, Kagome's reaction to Kouga's aprooch to then attempted rape is a bit weird. When she followed Inuyasha to the forest to observe the birds she immediatly suspected that Inuyasha would try to take advantage of her, but when she was alone with Kouga, she didn't even think about that actually happening. Then again, when Kouge found her she was still quite flustered after listening to unwanted noises (which turned out to be Inuyasha being 'busy' with his one-stand with Chanda) to actually even think of him attempting to do something like that. Still, she always seems to give some kind of extra trust credit to Kouga than to Inuyasha, even in the actual show/manga...she should give some credit to Inuyasha too though.
| Title: Oh My God
Reviewed By: ~Alanna On: June 18, 2007 10:06 EDT
Comment/Review:
Honestly this is an awesome story. I can't wait for your next update. If only they could kill the god damn Terraraptors.
| Reviewed By: silverwolf halfbeast [MediaMiner Member] On: June 18, 2007 01:28 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Nice to see this story again. And that was a very interesting chapter. Hope you update and keep it up. Peace...
| Reviewed By: fireflyskies [MediaMiner Member] On: June 18, 2007 01:21 EDT
Comment/Review:
That was once again a wonderful chapter. I love the scenes between Kagome and Inuyasha, and feel sorry for them because they can't seem to keep any of their kills. I've been waiting a long time for an update from you, but it was definitely worth it. Although you do wait awhile in between chapters, I really can't complain because my updates are probably about the same time-wise.
| Title: Awesome
Reviewed By: Kagz On: June 18, 2007 00:26 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I like this story sooo much. I've been kind of on my nerves lately, and your update came at such a great time. ^_^ I read it and I feel a lot better. The characters are so real!! It just takes me away from all the stress. I can't wait until you update again; I know it might not be a while..... But I can't help hoping it comes as fast as possible!! This is one of the 3 or so fanfics I still keep up with ^_^ I know you won't let me down. ~Eagerly Awaiting the Next Chapter!!~
| Reviewed By: InuAngelInuDevil [MediaMiner Member] On: May 21, 2007 18:03 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Could you please please please update this story, a new chapters and more chapters please...I have been waiting for 8 months for this to update, so please add a new good and really long chapter and continue working on this, but im not really trying to pressure you, i just really, really love this story...so please for my sake and anyone else who this is their favorite story ever...continue this daily, weekly, but never as far as monthly, that is just way too long...^-^...i sincerely apoligize if this is pressuring you, but i am eternally grateful for this fanfiction story, i read it over and over...its my first best story ever...so thank you so much if you keep writing this, please respond to it if you can...Thank You...^-^
| Reviewed By: Maloy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 26, 2007 13:03 EST
Comment/Review:
I really like this story. I hope you will update soon. I like the descriptions, and you manage really good with all those characters. Everyone has a character and a personality. No Mary Sues and that's very good. I like the idea a lot. Please don't forsake this story.
| Reviewed By: InuAngelInuDevil [MediaMiner Member] On: February 25, 2007 13:14 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Please infinity times, continue to write this please, as your fanfiction fan and reader in fanfiction and mediaminer, I love this story as I read it over and over, this story is one of my favorite and main priority of reading, so please keep writing, I have been waiting for a very very very long time ever since chapter 14 was out...^-^
| Reviewed By: Caitriona [MediaMiner Member] On: October 10, 2006 22:17 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Before I start, please don't take any of this as a personal attack. Also please remember that this is just my opinion. That and $4.01 will get you a breakfast at Burger King. Ultimately YOU are the author and what YOU write goes. As an Inuyasha fanfic, I don't care much for this piece. As a futuristic original piece, I very much like it. Call the demons something else, still have the main male character be a half breed, change the names around, and you will have a great great piece - worthy of publication. You have started with a great concept (Similar to Exiles of Colsec) where Earth is way to full and some end up going to another planet to colonize. You have added in a facinating basic religion and fleshed out the story with some interesting characters. While survival is a good basis for a story (man vs nature) you may want to add in a sweeping plot that the survival melds into. For example, the green food pellets were part of a plot to make sure the first wave were weakened and helpless. Some of the main characters know more about the planet than orinigally thought and the second wave was never sent. Onto the characters as you have written them. Miroku has probably retained the most of his original personality from the manga. He seems to be a priest that was willing to bend the rules somewhat, and so is the one that you have created here. Inuyasha has retained a lot of his basic personality. He is hiding a lot and it will take a lot of work to bring it out. Inu in the manga can sometimes act like a brat, but he will always do what is right in the end. Your Inu shows these same qualities - his fights with Kagome and the rest of the party, his distancing of himself from everyone physically as well as emotionally, but when the food gets low he shares the armorfish with everyone rather than hording it for himself. I would like to get a glimpse of some more of his background - perhaps in the same dream montage that you gave us at the beginning with Kikyou's death. Another great way you did this was when he talked about capturing and eating the rats. His knowledge of the basics of hunting but inability to translate it into bigger game was wonderfully written. Kagome seems rather true to the manga. Her protective nature is present, but it isn't overwhelming. Her book knowledge is high, but her practical knowledge is low. I think that you have a good potential for a strong, well rounded character with her. The two characters that I have been the most disappointed with are Sango and Kouga. There was only a short amount of time in the manga where Sango couldn't get past her training to move on - and your Sango seems trapped there. Manga!Sango realized pretty early on that many of the things she had been taught weren't true, especially those about youkai and hanyou. Neo!Sango is so wrapped within her need to control that she can't effectively lead. She is constantly at odds with her purpose (as I see it). You may well have her make an AHHA! moment with the demons in the group and thus grow.....or you may not. Similarly, your Kouga seems to be trapped in his own badboyness. Pre-Kagome!Kouga thought nothing of slaughtering and stealing. Your Kouga seems to be stuck there. (or perhaps he just hasn't had enough chapters to get out of his downward spiral) I know that a lot of this has probably sounded flamey, but that hasn't been my intention at all. I actually have really enjoyed this story and hope that you will write more of it. You have a descriptive style that doesn't bog down. You describe enough of the bast that I can get the basics - you don't tell me the texture of it's undercoat. Thanks for writing for us and sharing it for us. Caitriona at juno dot com
| Reviewed By: silverwolf halfbeast [MediaMiner Member] On: September 25, 2006 07:09 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
I like this story, very surviel like. And how they try to survive is interesting. I just hope thsy don't go insane before the other group gets there, if they ever get there. So update soon and keep doing what you do best, write.
| Reviewed By: InuyashasBiggestFan [MediaMiner Member] On: September 15, 2006 21:40 EDT
Comment/Review:
I think your story is amazing. The whole futuristic setting is totally captivating , I love how well you describe the animals and everything else. It sets a very distinct image in people minds. I know you are losing your interest in fanfics but I hope you hold out until the end with this one. It is very good and I love it so much.I do hope you eventually make this into a book and become a famous author. With a talent like yours you deserve it. ^_^ . I hope you update soon. The story is fantastic, keep at it!
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