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| "Broken" Reviews/Comments [ 78 ] | | Pages (6): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 › » ] | Reviewed By: Sweetdeily [MediaMiner Member] On: May 21, 2006 03:33 CDT
Comment/Review:
Aha! Finally an update! I -knew- it was love! omg! sooooo good. I love your work, so great! I can't take much more of this, I have to find out what happens next, for sanity's sake!
| Title: BLEGH!!
Reviewed By: Silver Rain [MediaMiner Member] On: May 16, 2006 22:58 CDT
Comment/Review:
SHITE! Please write more!? THIs is so wonderful, and it keeps getting better! But oh so very sad! ::wails::
| Reviewed By: GrayPheonix [MediaMiner Member] On: May 16, 2006 20:06 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
disturbing, scary, and horrifying detail on the rapes and addiction. However, one of the best (and more original ideas) for where to take naruto. I am equally disturbed, and proud to have read this one, and I'd like THE LAST FIVE FREAKIN CHAPTERS TO BE RELEEASED ASAP!!!! Seriously, it is so well done, I want to see what happens, will naruto return at all, stay or go? Please complete the story to the satisfaction and quality that you have done thus far. Also, parry is spelled with 2 'r's and a 'y', not one 'r' and an 'i'
| Reviewed By: XFactor [MediaMiner Member] On: May 16, 2006 13:46 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Still have someeeee spelling mistakes. It's not that bad though Like for example: "Kakashi and Gui, who had returned from his mission two days ago, were facing off against the one standing ANBU and the other ANBU was surrounded by nurses as he lay limply on the floor" It's Gai, not Gui. And I think you spelled antiseptic wrong. But yeah, I liked this chapter nonetheless, so good job. Anyone else have the problem where you get Error: Missing Information! and it says invaild spam protection code... yet you ARE entering the right code? It's annoying..
| Title: OMG!
Reviewed By: dragonlady2000_15 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 30, 2006 16:20 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is the best Naruto Fan Fic I have ever seen! Keep it going pleze! Its just so wonderfull! *black fox tail waggs with happyness*
| Reviewed By: Turnwiththewaves [MediaMiner Member] On: April 29, 2006 22:52 CDT
Comment/Review:
AHHH! darng cliifies! This is an awesome story, you really have the plot and characters down, I really love this story! Please update again soon, because waiting to find out if Naruto comes back is going to drive me insane. (I'll cry like an emo kid if doesn't - motivation by guilt there) Also, you have to bring Naruto back, umm... because it's Naruto, and he needs to find the joy of living again. So don't quit this fiction, keep it's flame of youth burning bright!
| Reviewed By: Sweetdeily [MediaMiner Member] On: April 04, 2006 04:57 CDT
Comment/Review:
awww! Such an evil wittle demony-Kyu-tan!! *glomps* I love how you've done this! It suits soooo much! A slow, progressive like of Sasuke- very believable! I likes it! As always, your writing is nothing short of fantastic! I thoroughly enjoy every hour I spend absorbing myself into this story, and I'm going to be both joyful and sad when it finishes- all longing and stuff. I can sense that we're getting closer- it makes me squirm in my seat- half anticipating the next chapter, half dreading an end to the sweet agony. I love how you reason out the demon's thinking- too many people would probably just brush over it... but you're doing awesome characterization with your fingertips. ^.^ As always... PLEASE UPDATE!!!! I am eagerly, desperately and pleasurably awaiting the next chapter!
| Title: Poor Sasuke!!!!
Reviewed By: Koi-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: April 03, 2006 22:41 CDT
Comment/Review:
You remain as evil as ever! I like how you portray Kyuubi's new emotions, things that demons don't care for. You seem to have a liking for psychological suspense. I throughly enjoy your writing style and have also enjoyed your other work. Keep up the good work and update soon! I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for the next chapter!!! Thanx! Sincerely, Koi-chan!!!!
| Reviewed By: Oriya-Chan [MediaMiner Member] On: April 02, 2006 15:43 CDT
Comment/Review:
I really hope that is not the last chapter. If it is, I will cry. This is a good story, i was reading and reading, and didn't mind the first time Naruto got the shit kicked out of him. Reading and reading, and then Naruto started to get rapped and he killed Iruka. That made me pause and evaluate why I was reading this story again. Found more pros than cons for reading this story, and kept going. Reading...reading.... More Naruto torture. More Naruto rape, a little Sauske torture. Horrifically detailed, gruesome. Absolutely wonderful. Though it was a little tear jerking. Kyuubi, the horney kitsune, I can't believe he did those things to Sauske, though I must admit they do help the plot along. I do have one question, how can you stand writing so much character torture? Sheesh, I don't think I could do it to a character I liked, unless it was.....wait...I could...never mind. ^_^ Well I hope to read more of this story. Ja!
| Title: ::wails::
Reviewed By: Silver Rain [MediaMiner Member] On: April 02, 2006 12:03 CDT
Comment/Review:
Another wonderfully written chapter, but so sad! I'm just really happy that Naruto will be okay..Lolz, Sasuke is really in for something...::clings j00::
| Reviewed By: Armina Skitty [MediaMiner Member] On: March 31, 2006 11:35 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
You have an absolutly brilliant storyline going on here. The flow, the A to B to C factors, the logical explinations everything show that you are a brillant writer. So why can't you do a spell or grammar check once in while?! It's so aggrivating, the story points out clearly that you are intellegant, but your spelling and grammar... are painful. You do yourself wrong and make yourself look dumb when you clearly aren't! Well enough ranting over something I need to mind as well, get the next chapter out! I wanna see what happens!
| Reviewed By: XFactor [MediaMiner Member] On: March 27, 2006 16:52 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I think your summary pretty much sums it all up :P You should check some of your spelling though. Like I noticed the you spelled the Rasengan wrong, and Inuzuka wrong. But yeah other than that it's not too bad :P
| Reviewed By: Saphire Dragon [MediaMiner Member] On: March 26, 2006 20:03 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oh gosh... the cliff hangers... the horrors of them... T_T I love this fic very much... please update as soon as you can!
| Reviewed By: Sweetdeily [MediaMiner Member] On: March 25, 2006 02:44 CST
Comment/Review:
*takes a breath* And my paragraphs are promptly eaten by the demon of MM.org reviewing. What else do I like about the story? I think I covered the setting a little too briefly there- you have a natural ability for setting. You just insert it here and there and the scenes are always -there- in my mind. The context isn't forced by dialogue, it's there... always, constantly. Which is brilliant. And finally I come to the smut. I am a smut critic of the worst sort- so when I find good smut, I beat my chest and bellow in a loud voice 'me like-ums!' No, not really- but I like your smex-scenes very mcuh. Exessive blood, exessive violence and lots of fun in the midst. You make me a happy, happy, fangirl. Alright... that about covers it... so... umm... please do us all the great honor of updating soon! Lots of love!
| Title: Too good to stop
Reviewed By: Sweetdeily [MediaMiner Member] On: March 25, 2006 02:39 CST
Comment/Review:
I'm pretty sure the word limit is too small for me to describe everything I like and don't like about this story, if need be, I'll post thrice. I cannot rate this piece of beauty because it goes beyond a simple 'was the story good' for me. What I liked? I'll start with your characterization- it, I think is what makes this story worth reading for several days on end like a crack-addict hoping for the next dose. I'm not sure I could say it was the plot- but it might be... the plot is damn good too- more on that in a moment. Your characterization makes me weep in happiness. I have rarely seen such brilliant- well thought out, perfect character development. Not only is it believable but it's also well done. Your wangst is not over the top- it's just right! Which is a rare, rare, rare thing indeed. The OC women (forgive me, I haven't seen/read all that much of the series as of yet- which is another thing- you've inspired me to take a bigger interest in this gem of an anime- so I don't know if they're not OC, but I gathered they were,) were not as irritating as they could have been. This was a surprise and I liked it. I almost read the het porn- almost. Next is plot- while not completely unpredictable- I am enjoying the slight twists and turns the story takes- I think part of it's beauty and addictiveness lies in this, and don't for an INSTANT think that this is not one of your stronger writing abilities- it is. I like how I expect a few things, but not all of it- I was like a mindless zombie while trying to get off work and back to reading your story. Next is the information from the show. A story this good, I would normally not expect to know crap all about the show- for authors of your level, it's pretty much; awesome characters, a few cool plot twists and carry the whole thing on the characters. Not at all. Not only can I -tell- you've seen Naruto- you write like you understand it. Hell, you understand it on a deep level. You use the techniques well and I even manage to get over the otaku Japanese that's inserted when you talk about them. Now, what I didn't like about it- please keep in mind, that just because there are elements you need to improve in doesn't mean I don't simply -adore- the story. I pick up on a lot about stuff when I review, so keep in mind, I'm not -trying- to be nasty. I realize that English probably isn't your first language, so don't take these comments to heart- it's a hard language to learn, even for the native speakers. Your grammar is alright, you manage to construct a sentence and have it make sense. You put a lot of detail into your scenes which is really good and a mark of a natural writer. Your spelling, however, is appalling, and you lack a lot of the basics on which 'too, to, two' to insert, 'anyone, someone, alright,' are all one word. I call this spelling because it is the wrong word for the job that you employ it in. If you are not using word, you should try copying your stories into any email editior and running it through a -full- spell checker there. Also try reading through it. I don't know who your beta's were, but they fucking sucked. I would have gone up screaming and yelling if I were you- as they picked up few, if not ANY of the mistakes that I found were still in chapters that you had sent to them. Mediaminer.org has some decent betas, and hell- I'd even beta this story myself if I didn't have little to no time on my hands. You are seriously losing a great many fans by not having your spelling and semi-grammar checked out. They don't -know- what they're missing true, and in your case, it works anyway for those of us able to get passed how you write 'living' (when turning a verb into the present 'doing' form, drop the E from the end; pierce becomes piercing.) But if you shaped these rough edges off, you would have a whole WORLD of fans that would never stop gushing about your work. Should it matter? I think you do yourself an injustice to not care.
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