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| "Seductive Embrace" Reviews/Comments [ 157 ] | | Pages (11): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 › » ] | Reviewed By: juana-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: June 28, 2005 15:17 PDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i love your story so far! I can't wait to find out what happens next! please update soon! Ta!
| Reviewed By: tbiris(not logged in) On: June 28, 2005 14:50 PDT
Comment/Review:
0_0.... scary....
| Reviewed By: Midnight Raven - [MediaMiner Member] On: June 28, 2005 14:48 PDT
Comment/Review:
Aww. I was hopping Shippou would snap out of the trance. You're doing a wonderful job.
| Reviewed By: phalon22(nsi) On: June 28, 2005 00:12 PDT
Comment/Review:
Oh this is an interesting story. I do wonder which relationship you've chosen for Kagome. Great job, I think you've done very well on characterization eventhough I haven't seen much of YYH.
| Title: Seductive Embrace
Reviewed By: Megan Consoer [MediaMiner Member] On: June 27, 2005 17:08 PDT
Comment/Review:
I really like this story alot. Can you write some more chapters?
| Reviewed By: Crazy Mishka [MediaMiner Member] On: June 25, 2005 11:09 PDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
this is so cute...I can;t wait for updates...I'm a good crossover junkie you see. (especially with Kagome as a character)
| Title: Review Chapter Six, Continued
Reviewed By: Kin-chan Pandun [MediaMiner Member] On: June 23, 2005 21:24 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay, now that I have a fresh review entry, let's go on to the new chapter and all praise/questions thus involved. When will anyone see Kagome use a bow? If they do, will she have been forced to use it to defend someone, or will it be in a casual setting, or will she have been atttempting to use Genkai's bow secretly because she could keep her hands away and longed for the "old days"? I think the second option is highly unlikely, but that the third option is the best bet. In that event, it would be likely that Hiei would be the one to discover her, or, possibly Genkai, but she would not be as forthcoming with Kagome's secrets to the rest of the group as Hiei would be with Kurama. Maybe Hiei could spy on her to see her using hamaya (sacred arrows), and Genkai could sense the residual energy around the returned arrows, be suspicious of Kagome, and somehow manipulate her into revealing her kyudo (japanese archery) talents. Also, please remember that Japanese nouns have no plural form. Each noun applies to both singular and plural forms, and it is the way you use it in a sentence which determines if it is plural or not. So it is "the miko were/the miko was" instead of "the mikos were/the miko was" On the subject of Shippou, I would like to apologize for threatening you in my review of chapter four. You are the author, after all. I still can't help wondering what Kagome will do between now and her meeting with Genkai. If you need help with it, I'd be happy to assist. >Ki | Title: Review Chapter Six
Reviewed By: Kin-chan Pandun [MediaMiner Member] On: June 23, 2005 21:07 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yay, for another chapter! Once again, you have surpassed my expectations. I totally loved the chapter and the character interactions therein. ... A few format-type errors I'd like to point out. ONE: It appears as if youare missing part of the story when Shippou is in the foyer of the youkai mansion, thinking. It goes: "Shippo was even more sure that he wouldn't have even survived if it hadn't been for her acceptance of him and the introduction to" and it just ends with "to" and there's a line break and it goes on, in a new paragraph, to say: "Shippo's attention was directed towards the staircase when he heard the sound of footsteps." Because of the way this is written, I'm thinking you meant to indicate he was interrupted in his thought processes. If I'm right, I would suggest you insert a hyphen (that's the little dash like this: "-"). A hyphen is what authors usually use to do so. If that's not what happened, then I suggest you either put in what's missing, or take a look at the flow of your story. TWO: When Kagome leaves Genkai's dojo, you have her bowing "respectively" instead of "respectfully". "Respectively" is used to correlate a series of nouns with a series of adjectives or verbs, indicating that they correlate in order, so that the first adjective applies to the first noun, the second adjective to the second noun, so on and so forth. Gah. This review is getting too long. I'll continue it in another one.
| Title: Review Chapter Five
Reviewed By: Kin-chan Pandun [MediaMiner Member] On: June 23, 2005 20:31 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Sorry I wasn't able to review sooner. My internet access is a bit sporadic. Anywho, thank you for another wonderful chapter.It was well-written (like always *gives teasing nudge*) and extremely enjoyable. Shippou's flashback was artfully delivered, and my only questions in regards to that is if Shippou will have any long-bourne residual anger directed at Inuyasha and if he will be extremely protective/defensive of her against any prospective boyfriends. I would think that it's a "yes" for the latter, at least. ... I like what you had Kagome do for her day, and that you didn't make it uber-easy for her to reach Genkai's. My only concern is about her method of getting there. If I recall correctly, weren't there a bunch of steps up to the shrine? I think there are, but I'm not sure if they lead out to the road or not. maybe they start somewhere in the forest? ... I liked the Kagome/Hiei interaction. It was extremely in character (go you!) and I like how, even though Kagome now has a face to match the aura, they still know very little about each other. (thank you for well-developed, non hurried plotiness!). ... Please don't botch the Genkai/Kagome and Yukina/Kagome interactions (this request is precautionary only, I highly doubt you will do any such thing). ... Again, take care of yourself, because I want to see more of these chapters! Wonderful job, and keep 'em coming. ... ... ... Thank you again, Kin-chan Pandun
| Reviewed By: Anonymous0 On: June 22, 2005 20:56 PDT
Comment/Review:
Please update real soon. Great chapter. Hiei/Kurama/Kagome.
| Reviewed By: Kuramas gurl (what the hell, I was logged in a minuet ago!!!) On: June 22, 2005 12:59 PDT
Comment/Review:
good chappie, update soon please
| Reviewed By: juana-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: June 22, 2005 09:01 PDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i can't wait for you to write another chappie!! keep it up!!! Ta!
| Reviewed By: Midnight Raven - [MediaMiner Member] On: June 22, 2005 08:42 PDT
Comment/Review:
Shippou better not die. He deserves to live. Anyway most likely I don't think he will die. Please update soon. It would be such an awful thing if the story was discontinued.
| Reviewed By: Fox Vixen [MediaMiner Member] On: June 22, 2005 08:30 PDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i love it update soon.
| Reviewed By: Ryukotsusei [MediaMiner Member] On: June 21, 2005 23:44 PDT
Comment/Review:
Very good chapter, Hiei falling into stalker mode is amusing. I wonder how long it will be until their next conversation. Kagome definitely has a way of twisting the truth to suit her purposes lol Update soon please.
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