|
| "The Swim of Things" Reviews/Comments [ 109 ] | | Pages (8): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 › » ] | Title: More of a comment
Reviewed By: A-Z On: June 11, 2008 14:10 PDT
Comment/Review:
I agree with your in-chapter remark about gun otakus being annoying; but not for the reason you suggested. They are annoying because they are armchair experts rather than practical professionals. Incidentally, I also agree with your featured stance that guns are for killing. Hell yes! It's why I own so many! Same with the edged weapons I own, matter of fact. And since I bet you are going to wonder 'does that mean you use them for that purpose?' I will have to say 'whenever the need, opportunity or occasion allows, Y-E-S!'
| Title:
Reviewed By: A. Nonymous On: June 11, 2008 00:15 PDT
Comment/Review:
Mmmmmm... another fun chapter. The off-camera conversation is intriguing, but to be honest, it's probably all the more intriguing because it is off-camera. After all, we know exactly how each girl feels about the topic, and the talk was probably just a re-hash of similar talks that they (at least, Asuka and Hikari) have had many times before. At least Aunt Asuka has had some experience the last couple of years to get her over some of her fears about raising a child. I've always wondered if Asuka would prefer a ruby to a diamond--I suppose a pink diamond is something of a compromise. :) Keep 'em coming... we'll be here waiting.
| Reviewed By: Deadberserker [MediaMiner Member] On: June 10, 2008 19:58 PDT
Comment/Review:
Good to see you updating. This chapter was on par with the rest or your work and I look forward to your next update. Thanks for writing this and posting the updates with some consistency.
| Reviewed By: Clouddancer1014 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 10, 2008 08:21 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've taken an interest in "The Swim of Things." I'm not doubting your dedication or anything (anyone who can write thirty above average length chapters is obviously extremely dedicated), but I am curious as to when you will be releasing the next chapter. --An impatient reader.
| Reviewed By: Deadberserker [MediaMiner Member] On: April 21, 2008 22:04 PDT
Comment/Review:
Glad you didn't leave us hanging, the wait was nothing compared to other authors so no problems. Like always great chapter, I'm impressed at the over all average length it shows a certain amount of dedication and as long as you get the chapters out every few months and don't wait a year between updates you good.
| Title: CH30
Reviewed By: Tezza1502 On: April 21, 2008 06:37 PDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Once again, you have dropped an awesome chapter in our laps. The wait was worth it!! The cat's out of the bag, and so let slip the kittens of interrogation! And it was nice to see Rei's friends being so supportive. And that they were willing to put her to rights over her concerns. It was all handled well. 'Though, the newly public couple are in for a heck of a time from their classmates. Not to mention Kaede's reaction when she finds out. sigh Longer waits between chapters. It sucks, but what can you do? Writing fanfiction is only a hobby for most of us. Real life takes precedence, no matter how nice it would be to have it otherwise. On the up side, the longer the wait the better the quality. Keep up the awesome work & see you next time! T
| Title: No worries...
Reviewed By: A. Nonymous On: April 20, 2008 16:41 PDT
Comment/Review:
Was getting a little worried about you after we passed the 2-month mark without any word, but that's fine. Life has a way of keeping us busy, and I doubt anyone begrudges you for it. We'll be here 'till the end. The tieback to the scenes we never got to see in earlier chapters was amusing, and the various... methods of entertainment... were amusing and sometimes surprising. While it is tempting to ask if girls really talk like that, such a question, it seems, is probably rather rhetorical. The nightmares were a nice touch, too. Sometimes, it seems as though they've left those years behind, and yet, such things *should* leave a permanent, if hidden, mark on all of them. While it would be interesting to see everyone's reactions if the truth were to be revealed... it might force the story into a totally different direction, one that loses the innocence (said tongue-directly-in-cheek) that has made this story almost unique. Either way--we'll be here waiting until the last chapter, and probably begging for more after that. :)
| Reviewed By: dennisud [MediaMiner Member] On: April 20, 2008 15:38 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Finally Rei blossoms in her social and familial relationships. I agreee the frank talk she had with Asuka and Rei sure makes her so much more real to us readers. Course now we'll have a build-up to her and Ken's first time while I'm sure they'll get the teasing and some more prejudiced remarks which i think will be dealt with by the sextet! Nice job!
| Title: 29
Reviewed By: Tezza1502 On: March 12, 2008 06:20 PDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
I think that this was by far the funniest chapter you have written in recent memory. From Asuka & Shinji describing the way they learnt to ski to getting busted by their teacher during their 'private time', was pure gold. Add to that the various conversations between the groups of boys and girls, i.e.: teasing the crap out of each other. Great stuff! -- So, Rei & Kensuke's little secret is about to be bust wide open. 'Bout damn time!! Can't wait to see how the other two couples close ranks around them. Should make for an interesting read. As always. Hanging out for the next chapter! T
| Title: Mehr! Mehr!
Reviewed By: A. Nonymous On: February 11, 2008 01:12 PST
Comment/Review:
Around the first of every month, I start coming to MM.O to look for my fix. Romantic comedies shouldn't fit so well with Eva... and slice-of-life fics shouldn't stay fresh after exceeding the length of most novels... but this one does. Can't wait for mehr next month... Rei make need to spend the night in one of those warming cabins to get away from the class.
| Reviewed By: dennisud [MediaMiner Member] On: January 06, 2008 19:32 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I suggest "Keeping" the pace you have for Kensuke and Rei while maybe getting the other two couples to be mire 'intense' if you want. So far the pacing is top notch, and the use of ACC's is great. The only thing i think you should consider is another pregnancy, either for Misato or someone else. A girl going through pregnancy give a whole lot of plot devices to use! dennisud
| Title: X Marks the Spot
Reviewed By: Ero-Sennin [MediaMiner Member] On: January 02, 2008 11:38 PST
Comment/Review:
Perhaps you should move on up to the X Rating, this story is quite raunchy at points, even if that's not the whole focus of the story. It's wondrous fare, keep up the good work, my friend.
| Reviewed By: Tezza1502 On: January 01, 2008 05:34 PST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ahhh!! Another awesome chapter from Ret Nuh to read. What a nice way to spend New Years Day. Introducing Yuma's sister into the mix is, as you stated, a good way of bringing a fresh perspective to our favourite characters. I also like the way you slip in how ex-NERV companies are adapting their way into the current market within the story every now and again. (Example; converting plugsuit technology to other applications.) Its a nice way to flesh out the background here & there, and something you do often. Although, I do have one slight complaint. Shinji seems to be dropping out of the fic. It's something that has been happening more and more over the last few chapters. Ever since their trip to Germany, in fact. I'm not saying that you have to have him front & centre for every line. But as half of one of the central couples in this story, I'd hate for him to vanish. However, with the focus right now firmly on Rei and Kensuke's blossoming relationship, I guess its fair for some of the others to take a backseat for a while. (Except Asuka. She just won't stay out of the limelight! & pity the person that tries to make her.) Other than that, a damn fine job once again. Kudos! T -p.s.: as to your query about the lemons in your fic; I feel that the rating you have is fine. You are descriptive enough to let us know the emotions behind their actions, without decending into outright porn. By that, I mean it fits the flow of the story. If you want to go further than what you are writing now, then yes, increase the rating. As it stands, the rating is fine for what you are writing, IMHO. -p.p.s.: Still waiting eagerly for the reveal about R&K. Reactions will be priceless, especially at their school.
| Title: 76
Reviewed By: Tezza1502 On: December 05, 2007 05:52 PST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Once again you have delivered a wonderful chapter to your eagerly waiting fans. Late to be sure, but good things come to those who are patient. I'm sensing that the whole storyline is begining to draw to a close, possibly with Hikari & Touji's wedding as the full stop. So it was nice that you took a moment to allow the girls one last chance to compete with each other. And the chapter was very in line with the whole theme running through this story. It all started with swimming, so it's fitting that as the circle closes, we come back to the pool again. Nicely done! Rei and Kensuke forge ahead with their relationship. I like that you have them finding their own pace, and not trying to emulate Shinji & Asuka. (Despite the lead up being of epic proportions.) I am looking forward to the reveal. While the other's reactions will be fun, seeing Rei get flustered when she finds out just how many of her family already knew about it will be cute too. Excelent work once again! 'Till next time. T
| Reviewed By: dennisud2015 On: December 01, 2007 14:13 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
it doesn't matter that you took longr, its sure showed in the wiring here. just a few missed words and misspellings, but overall a great chapter. Again I applaud your treatment of the couples here. ans of their gradual maturing during the story's timeline. Finally Yuna is one of my favorite ACC's this year. And again 'this' kensuke is one any Rei fan would like! dennisud
| | Pages (8): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 › » ] |
|
|
