| "Busy Lives" Reviews/Comments [ 695 ] |
| Pages (47): [ « ‹ 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 › » ] |
Reviewed By: InusDemoness(not signed on) On: August 15, 2004 12:21 CDT
Comment/Review:
I thought this chapter moved too fast. I mean your chapters have always moved fast but this one more than usual. The scenes weren't set up or explained and the conversation seemed rushed. Like when Kagome and Inuyasha went to the club. "Kagome and Inuyasha both walked into the club. Everyone else was already there." We don't know if the club is dark or croweded, if Sango and Rin were waiting for them, or anything. It was like you were just rushing to get through it. And the interview with child services woman is another example of rushing. You didn't tell what she thought of their house or anything. And you implied that Inuyasha thought she was hinting of their relationship's failure when she only asked a simple question. You could have made her say alot more to prove that point but it was like the conversation was cut short in an effort to get it over with. And there was no evidence, verbal or detail wise that she didn't like Inuyasha. If the scene had been explained more then you could have put in where she looked at him wrong or something. But as it was, she didn't do anything out of the ordinary. I know that can be passed off as Inuyasha jumping to conclusions like always, but usually there's something there to explain why he feels threatened by that person. But you didn't give anything to support his suspicious behavior. You know I like your story but slow down, details are good.
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Reviewed By: fujiko [MediaMiner Member] On: August 15, 2004 01:12 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
hey you have to update this is the best story that i have read in a long time...so hurry and update plzzzzzzzzz PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ thankies
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Reviewed By: Lil'Inu [MediaMiner Member] On: August 14, 2004 03:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
and back to work... i wish i got days off. up date soon and keep up the good work!!
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Reviewed By: essie [MediaMiner Member] On: August 13, 2004 22:00 CDT
Comment/Review:
this is a great fanfic please update soon
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Reviewed By: Haisha-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: August 13, 2004 21:18 CDT
Comment/Review:
I hope everything works out with the adoption; Kagome and InuYasha are good 'parents', though perhaps a bit unorthodox lol ... I'm glad that Kouga found someone, I sort of felt bad for him before... good chapter, keep it up ^_^
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Reviewed By: Hououza On: August 13, 2004 21:04 CDT
Comment/Review:
Excellent chapter! I almost feel sorry for Kouga...almost... Good luck & best wishes, Hououza
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Reviewed By: Hououza On: August 13, 2004 21:04 CDT
Comment/Review:
Excellent chapter! I almost feel sorry for Kouga...almost... Good luck 7 best wishes, Hououza
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Reviewed By: Orb [MediaMiner Member] On: August 13, 2004 18:21 CDT
Comment/Review:
I hope they get to adopt shippo, even tho it would be a good plot twist if they didnt. So the club is back open...I dont think they would be allowed to adopt shippo if the agency found out about THAT. I cant wait for you to be able to update again, this was great.
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Reviewed By: SES_Inu On: August 13, 2004 17:45 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Another good set of chapters...plz write more...you have like 500 and something reviews you knowwere all backing you up on this fic^^
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Reviewed By: RayGirl [MediaMiner Member] On: August 11, 2004 02:27 CDT
Comment/Review:
love it update soon...dont let it end!
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Reviewed By: morwen re On: August 06, 2004 19:41 CDT
Comment/Review:
GREAT FIC!!!!!!!!! i love it! please update soon!
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Reviewed By: animegirl411 [MediaMiner Member] On: August 04, 2004 11:53 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
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Reviewed By: BassPR On: August 04, 2004 09:58 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
i luv this story i cant get enough of it! i hope inu and kagome get shippo.
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Reviewed By: Hououza On: August 03, 2004 17:37 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thank you, that was an excellent chapter. Glad to see the stubborn fool finally admitted how he felt...even if he didn't mean to directly. Good luck & best wishes, Hououza
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Title: 'WOW'
Reviewed By: InuYashasLoveLorn [MediaMiner Member] On: August 03, 2004 15:35 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
wow keep up the good work update again soon i can't wate to see what happen's form here your such a good writer!!!!!!!!!!
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| Pages (47): [ « ‹ 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 › » ] |
