| "Weapon of Mass Destruction" Reviews/Comments [ 175 ] |
| Pages (12): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 › » ] |
Title: =\
Reviewed By: Takeda Jin On: February 17, 2008 02:18 PST
Comment/Review:
If you're going to update man, could you at least throw your readers a new chapter? I can't begin to count how many times I've checked this story when it's updated only to find a chapter revision. It's still a great story but the wait between chapters is kind of long. =\
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Reviewed By: Sitsuky [MediaMiner Member] On: December 07, 2007 13:48 PST
Comment/Review:
um.....can u update please
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Title: Like Fed EX you Deliver
Reviewed By: zerothehero On: November 26, 2007 13:42 PST
Comment/Review:
Wow I've been waiting for a update for months. I would check the comp nearly everyday(Here and on aff since some other authors take a few days to post on other sites.) I'm so happy to see my favorite girl shinobu finally get it on with Keitaro. That description of Keitaro's Pen...Thing is really good. And the ending scene with Kentaro & crew was hilarious. It's going to be interesting to see his response when they see Keitaro's new standing with the girls of the hinata house. Excellent Chapter and nice pics you linked to see. P.S. I knew about the whole Motoko storyline with her sister( how you said she should stay a virgin and all)not being in the manga and all but I thought you had intentionally changed it for the purpose of the story also I saw other comments so I decided you understood as I was recently accused of just being a pervert without paying attention to the story(Not directed at you big W but another user who shall go unamed)
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Reviewed By: anon2 On: November 26, 2007 11:34 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I have to be honest here...this really felt like a chapter slapped together rather than a continuation of a story. It felt normal up until Su showed upand they started poofing...was all that really necessary? Unless you were going to have the girls continue without aging themselves, it really didn't do anything to help the overall story. (On a side note, even if it was just one sentence, thanks for the footplay from Suu :3 ) Then it goes to a bunch of characters no one ever cares about for the last half of the story...what is this? Finally Shinobu and Suu get their chance and it's pretty much cut off for some bad humor centered around a bunch of guys expressing bi-curious behavior (none of whom had any part in this story until now, no less), instead of dealing with what happened with Naru and Haruka, what Kistune is up to, and what of Mutsumi and Motoko. It was nice to finally see an update but...this is a chapter better off skipped. =/ Hopefully this isn't the "final" version, as you improved the chapter with Motoko's "coming out" I'm sure you can fix this one, too.
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Title: Touche
Reviewed By: Prodigal Priest [MediaMiner Member] On: November 22, 2007 21:51 PST
Comment/Review:
I liked the way Shinobu and Su had to keep 'testing' Keitaro to find out why the grownup effect kept wearing off xD. You're a tease, W... posting those pics and leaving me with a case of blue balls >
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Reviewed By: DrewB1442 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 22, 2007 20:25 PST
Comment/Review:
Enjoyed the chapter. Chars. were IC as much as possible. Found monologue funny. Found writing style has slipped since last chapter. Can't wait to see more.
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Reviewed By: KC6 On: November 22, 2007 16:34 PST
Comment/Review:
Really nice chapter. It was funny the kentaro part. Hey. How about letting Kentaro find out about Naru's father and then he would blackmail her to do everthing he wanted witch her. Then in the last minute Keitaro would save her? It would be cool.
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Title: keep going
Reviewed By: killerman83ca [MediaMiner Member] On: November 22, 2007 15:08 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Can you please update soon because I would like to know on how Keitaro would handle the girl treating him differently and his best friends
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Reviewed By: Godslayer [MediaMiner Member] On: November 22, 2007 13:14 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Very nice new chapter. As to the manga, I have put the English version http://www.mentallyscrewedup.com/~lordrahl/manga.rar there for you if you want it.
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Reviewed By: ShadowOfTheVoid [MediaMiner Member] On: November 11, 2007 22:37 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is one of the best multi-part lemons I've ever read. Superb style of writing and well-crafted sex scenes make this one really stand out. In regards to the latter, I really enjoy how they involve some impressive physical specimens. Probably more amazing than Keitaro's "weapon" - which has to be at least 12 in. long & 2 thick based on how it's described in proportion to everything else - is the fact that the girls (particularly Motoko) can even handle it. These "enhanced qualities" of the characters really add to the enjoyment of the lemon element of the story. The dramatic elements are pretty good as well. The whole angle with Naru and her father was... unexpected and a bit unsettling, and really added a darker, more emotional element to the drama. A very unique way of explaining Naru's dysfunctional behavior. I'm glad you've started working on a new chapter, and I'll definitely be looking foward to it. I was worried that this fic would go unfinished, but I'm glad you're still working on it. While Shinobu & Suu are obviously next on Kei's "to do" list (finally), I have some ideas for some future scenes. Kei hasn't had any alone time with Haruka yet, and she hasn't even slept with him since that first time. You don't get to see much good Kei/Haruka action in fanfiction, not to mention that in your fic, she's wanted to see his more assertive side for herself (obviously in the bedroom), so maybe they could have some more scenes in a later chapter. Also, Kitsune hasn't had any full-blown intercourse scenes yet, so maybe that could happen later on. And of course there's the also the set-up in the story for Keitaro eventually deflowering Motoko. I'm guessing you'll be saving the inevitable Kei/Naru scene for the finale, so depending on how long you intend this story to be, there could plenty of time to revisit some of the other girls. Whether or not you have anything like this in mind, I'm sure that whatever you'll write will be top-notch. Keep up the good work.
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Reviewed By: un named On: September 22, 2007 20:33 PDT
Comment/Review:
Plase update already. We all want to see the next chapter. Just put part of the chapter up if you are still working on the end
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Reviewed By: Innortal [MediaMiner Member] On: September 02, 2007 08:34 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well done explaining her motivation, even if it does seem a bit out of context for the series. Looking forward to more.
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Title: Great story
Reviewed By: Zerothehero On: June 23, 2007 09:23 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This fic is awesome. UPDATE SOON!!! Sorry it's just your next chap will feature my favorite character shinobu and I really want to see it. Keep up the good work
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Title: hooray
Reviewed By: hinata_FANBOY On: June 22, 2007 08:02 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like this story so far...and i dont usually read harem series. It's also good to find another hinata fan....but i'm number one
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Title: I beg you, update this!!!
Reviewed By: newtob exile On: June 05, 2007 13:36 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is one of the best Love Hina lemon stories I have ever seen. Both the writing and the timing is excellent, and I look foward to how the whole Naru business will end!
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| Pages (12): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 › » ] |
