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| "Inner Secrets" Reviews/Comments [ 168 ] | | Pages (12): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 › » ] | Reviewed By: DUSKEN PRINCCESE On: June 02, 2006 10:29 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
NOT BAD I REALLY ENJOY THIS FANFIC ON SOME OF MINE I MEN CHEN HOW GOOD YOURS IS .
| Reviewed By: Yuki-Onna On: June 01, 2006 01:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
Very well done. You have a few grammer and spelling errors, but something easily overlooked. I enjoyed this story so far, update again soon!
| Title: none
Reviewed By: souh On: May 27, 2006 09:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
whoopse. imbri2001@yahoo.com
| Title: none`
Reviewed By: souh On: May 27, 2006 09:06 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
i really like this fanfiction, but youve got it down as "completed" and you dont have any links on any page on mediaminer so that i can trace it back to a larger webpage and see about getting the update info or the rest of the story. i searched for you on google and nothing came up that way so im asking you in person, is there a website where i can view this and more besides mediaminer and where the heck is your authors page?
| Reviewed By: GrayPheonix [MediaMiner Member] On: May 24, 2006 04:33 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
A quite interesting, and different take on Naruto, though one that was inevitable (cmon, secret life story, one where he's almost a vigilante? Its inevitable for any anime fanfic) Still, a well done storyline, and the design allows a great deal of expansion, and could fit into an alternate universe world deal quite easily (where multiple fanfics combine to show a universe, like Lord Archive's 02 Diary's series for Digimon, contact me if interested, I'd be glad to have your story interact with my own, a background one to fill in gaps, with help in research on the world of naruto, like data on each of the nations). In addition, I like the characterization of Naruto, making him smart is true, he has a lot more talent than is obvious, and making him have an alternate identity only proves this point. Please continue with the good work, I enjoyed reading this quite a bit.
| Reviewed By: GrayPheonix [MediaMiner Member] On: May 24, 2006 04:32 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
A quite interesting, and different take on Naruto, though one that was inevitable (cmon, secret life story, one where he's almost a vigilante? Its inevitable for any anime fanfic) Still, a well done storyline, and the design allows a great deal of expansion, and could fit into an alternate universe world deal quite easily (where multiple fanfics combine to show a universe, like Lord Archive's 02 Diary's series for Digimon, contact me if interested, I'd be glad to have your story interact with my own, a background one to fill in gaps, with help in research on the world of naruto, like data on each of the nations). In addition, I like the characterization of Naruto, making him smart is true, he has a lot more talent than is obvious, and making him have an alternate identity only proves this point. Please continue with the good work, I enjoyed reading this quite a bit.
| Reviewed By: inuyasha92689 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 22, 2006 23:14 CDT
Comment/Review:
wow this is such a great story i just love it but poor Naruto he cant show his true self but yeah anyways please update it really soon thanks tootles.
| Reviewed By: Auroawinter [MediaMiner Member] On: May 09, 2006 06:04 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really enjoyed this fic, I love how your playing off the manga itself but adding other details and a second life to Naruto to give it extra flair.. I hope you continue writing more Im excited to see what happens and where you plan to take it ^_^ great job and 10 thumbs WAYYY up ^_^ Chrys
| Reviewed By: Kuruma Boy On: May 08, 2006 23:32 CDT
Comment/Review:
Eh...nice action scenes, but I was a little disappointed that there wasn't more original content/variations thrown in, and that it was unchanged except for inner-monologue from the manga. I understand how it was more prudent that Naruto preserve his mask's image, and not reveal his true self at this time, but one can't help reading the scene and expecting some of the details to be different, since most everyone has read the manga and/or seen the anime. I'm not saying that it would be better if Naruto just blew everyone away with some advanced jutsu/strategy, but it gets boring when you know exactly what is gonna happen next, ya know?
| Reviewed By: Shinobi-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: May 04, 2006 13:49 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Good story so far, but in the first chapter, you mentioned eyebrow piercing & tattoos. I've never had a eyebrow piercing, but tattoos are painful in certain spots. But two tattoos in the same time are painful, especially if there is a lot of details. So I'm guessing Naruto must be in a lot of pain to deal with all those piercings and then the two tattoos.
| Reviewed By: Kristie On: April 27, 2006 18:09 CDT
Comment/Review:
WOW this is such a great story i love it sooooooo much and i cant wait to see what happends next so please update it really soon thanks tootles.
| Title: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Reviewed By: kurimishu [MediaMiner Member] On: April 26, 2006 19:48 CDT
Comment/Review:
HOLD UP! HOLD THE FUCK UP!! NO-I DON'T GIVE A FUCK HOW THEY TRY TO KILL HIM!! BoldBUT YOU DO NOT!! DO Bold NOT!!- POUR ACID ON A SEVEN-YEAR OLD!! Bold NO!! ARE YOU INSANE?! ...[relizes she's flaming]...sorry...[whispers]but nooooooooo.
| Reviewed By: Trineko On: April 26, 2006 00:52 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Stupid rating things don't have an 11... grr... Anyways, love it, especially Naruto's new names, and financial backer. Think you could find someone to draw pictures of the outfit? Reading it is one thing, seeing it is a completely different matter. Update soon, k? I'm off to check out your other fics ^_^ Ja!
| Reviewed By: mistylaugh On: April 25, 2006 04:05 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
I caught a few errors in grammar but nothing major. It's a fun idea, although like I said before too fast in some places although no slow ones this time. Time for a fight scene next right? Please please please.
| Reviewed By: Coach On: April 25, 2006 02:48 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Eh..I've got to put my two cents in about the "Eternity of Torture." Sorry if I sound harsh at all, because that's not my intention. This is just some constructive criticism. I'm just trying to point out a mistake that's bugging me a lot, and in doing so I think it'd improve the story. While the poison is a creative invention, no one would survive past the fifth stage. If it were to somehow break all the bones in the body (I'm guessing it would eat up marrow somehow to do so) and the afflicted individual were able to survive(though that in itself is questionable, unless all of the breaks are fractures. Fragments from breaks in the chest cavity and other areas would probably rupture more than a few internal organs, killing quite quickly), then that would mean the spine would be broken as well, and subsequently the person would probably become paralyzed and lose all feeling in their body, and so the hyper-sensitivity wouldn't affect much. If the person were still alive by the time that the veins burnt up, they would die within milliseconds, because there would be no bloodflow, and no oxygen would be carried throughout. It would be the same as if the heart stopped. I'm not sure how a heart dries out, but that too would mean no bloodflow or oxygenation, and...if the lungs fill with fluid, then you drown. So while those are all interesting and creative symptoms, and I do think credit should be given for that, the ability of a person to survive for two months is an absolute impossibility. Oh, and...erm, this is an important one. You forgot a fourth stage x.x It doesn't really affect the story negatively that it's in there, but it really bothers me, ya know? I'm one of those people that likes to nitpick and contemplate what I read as I read it, and so flawed reasoning causes me to cringe. That minor glitch aside, the story overall seems pretty good. There's a few points I have a hard time swallowing, such as the almost-too-good-to-be-true convenience of Kyo stumbling on Naruto and fulfilling his current needs so perfectly, or there existing a library full of every country's jutsus(Orochimaru would kill for such a thing, since that's his goal). And if Naruto thinks of himself as almost equal to Kakashi's level, and Naruto is able to be this type of vigilante able to take out 'evil' organizations...then why don't the ninjas of Kakashi's level and above already do so? But then there's some really cool points, like Naruto being able to communicate with Kyuubi, and him hiding his true strength from everyone else. So while I think there's some plot points that could be worked on to be a little more conceivable as actually plausible, you've also managed to make quite an interesting story. Oh, and the way you portray Sakura's interactions with Sasuke and how he responds? Priceless. Hope to read more soon, I do. You've got a lot of potential with this story. bleh...long review x.x
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