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| "Freeport" Reviews/Comments [ 194 ] | | Pages (13): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 › » ] | Reviewed By: yanagi(not loged in) On: April 22, 2005 20:26 CDT
Comment/Review:
All I can say is, Oh, Crap. Wow! That was so good. If you're out of practice, I really, really want to see one when you're in practice. This was hot.
| Reviewed By: live4you [MediaMiner Member] On: April 22, 2005 13:51 CDT
Comment/Review:
Just started getting caught up on this story.Like all the rest of your stories this is fantastic writing.I always like how you make your characters so complex and real.Just gives me chills when I read.Your lemons are of course good enough to steam windows, you are so not out of practice.Can't wait to see how things progress.
| Title: Whoo!
Reviewed By: Pyrzm not signed in [MediaMiner Member] On: April 22, 2005 13:26 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Out of practice writing lemons?? I don't even smoke and I want a cig! That was great, esp. after the excruciatingly long build up. I just hope there's more "progress" in the next chapter. You've given us two very complex guys and lots of heat.
| Title: ch 22
Reviewed By: Ice-is Blue [MediaMiner Member] On: April 22, 2005 13:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
"progress things along a bit," eh? I should say so. :D Of course, when I typed 'baring of souls' earlier, I naturally meant 'gritty, heat-of-the-moment sex' because that was, after all, what was lingering in their souls. This chappy was disjointed, strengthening the Wufei PoV and events progressed in perfectly controlled chaos. Wufei surprised Duo, though, by demanding to bottom, which suggests that Duo in his right mind would have thought Chang wanted little to do with him sexually. There's a potential for a hell of a morning-after talk, but there's also the possibility that the whole event gets swept into Recyc and things return to 'normal' (except for the teensy-weensy fact that now Wufei knows what he's missing and it'll drive him crazier much sooner than it did before). I would've liked more of a description of Duo's arm and how that touch differed or not from the other arm... but I realize Wufei's focus was more on the disfigurements of his own body and farther south in regards to Duo's.
| Reviewed By: Dreamfire On: April 18, 2005 08:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
This chapter was fantastic. I am in love with this story. I think my favorite part had to be the end, when Carver and Wufei were exchanging glares across the hanger, that and 'Bugger' is one of my favorite swears. It's just so.. Duo that it fits him perfectly. ^.^ As always, I will be awaiting the next chapter with bated breath.
| Reviewed By: dk_joy [MediaMiner Member] On: April 17, 2005 16:49 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
That was awesome! And no, it's not unusual to find killing easier to write about than character developement. And it's more fun to read, too! The boys made it and they're gonna be OK (I hope). Please keep going - I love it!
| Title: that was awesome!
Reviewed By: vox dei On: April 16, 2005 23:09 CDT
Comment/Review:
Wow, maybe the best chapter yet! For some reason I'm very picky when it comes to action/fighting scenes, but this one really did it for me- I felt I was there in the thick of it, alongside Wufei. As a writer you have come a long, long way from the scene in the early part of "The Arrangement" (motorcycle, gundams, etc). [Not that your earlier piece was in any way poor, but this one was just mind-blowing]. It was like a big thunderstorm that we had been expecting for a while now, since the boys have been in pursuit of the killers for so long... Well, thanks for the timely update. I'm still dying to find out Wufei's ulterior motive. Also, will we see some more hints of Duo's feelings towards Wufei?
| Title: ch 21
Reviewed By: Ice-is Blue [MediaMiner Member] On: April 16, 2005 16:41 CDT
Comment/Review:
That's a great name/slogan for the archive. Thanks for mentioning it. Regarding your question at the end, be it facetious or not, I think writing action is in some ways easier than writing something introspective or merely descriptive. However, it is much harder to move from mediocre action writing to good action writing to excellent action writing. Today's chappie was somewhere between the latter two, though I can't say what would bump it up to the fully excellent level. The action flowed smoothly and I could see Wufei's movements clearly. (Loved the way you handled the blow to the head.) The Recyc setting descriptions were missed... didn't feel quite so gritty and real as they did in the previous chapter, but I think that's actually more natural. Wufei's focused on fighting, not admiring the scenery or lack thereof. I caught the "There was a lot he wanted to tell him, some things he should confess." Next chapter, maybe????? A licking of wounds and a baring of souls? (Or something close but not quite so corny?) And now everything's turned up a notch with a blade's collar and a bigger boss. And there's still another confrontation coming between Wufei and Carver. *ponders that* Do you think Wufei would be terribly upset if it was Duo who finally put an end to Carver? Thus far, you've presented Wufei as having Carver be his prime objective. The battle's not quite personal (yet), but I think the general expectation is for Wufei to bring Carver down.
| Reviewed By: Dreamfire On: April 11, 2005 08:14 CDT
Comment/Review:
*twitch* You, my friend, are an evil, evil author. That was horrible. Horrible, I tell you. But much love for Freeport and the layout, and the Duo-Wufei interaction.
| Reviewed By: dk_joy [MediaMiner Member] On: April 10, 2005 19:50 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Cliffies suck, but this fic is good. This chapter was very exciting and interesting - hearing about recyc and what they do was cool. Please don't hurt Duo. (Random, I know.)
| Title: ch 19 & 20
Reviewed By: Ice-is Blue [MediaMiner Member] On: April 10, 2005 14:32 CDT
Comment/Review:
I've been on a self-induced "No Fanfic for 30 Days Experiment" which started April 1.... but two Freeport chapters? The temptation is too much! *finishes ch 20* Okay that's -evil-. Rarely do I complain about cliffies... I tend to like them. But this one gets a whine. Loved the ?almost-kiss? and the banter in ch 19. Again, wonderful job in setting the scene and building up the world (and the characters). *wriggles* Very gritty... and I think I feel like a shower now.
| Reviewed By: trespassor [MediaMiner Member] On: April 10, 2005 14:30 CDT
Comment/Review:
Glad to see they've finally caught up with Carver, even if it seems like Carver in control of the situation at the moment!
| Reviewed By: Curly On: April 09, 2005 12:38 CDT
Comment/Review:
Everlasting thanks for this chapter (ooh, ooh the 2x5 is finally coming!... er, pun unintended) I love your Wufei POV, the way he notes everything that happens with Duo without ever daring to analyse what it all means. And of course I adore all the little clues that Duo is perfectly aware of what Wufei won't admit, and is shamelessly teasing him. Not to mention that the pace has suddenly rocketed forward and left us teetering on the edge of a cliff. Need need more. Please don't leave us hanging too much longer.
| Title: secrets
Reviewed By: vox dei On: April 07, 2005 21:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
So now its unambiguously clear that there is some ulterior motive to Wufei's whole trip... well as long as this doesn't involve betraying Duo, which of course it doesn't, right? Thanks for the long chapter, I enjoyed your small asides, like the vignette about Duo's foul mouth. Also I think we saw funniest line in the whole story yet: "...it was too trivial to mention, too trivial to even think about." Masterpiece of Wufei-self-delusion. The 2nd best line was Wufei's Duo impression towards the end. aquononascendet-AT-yahoo.com
| Reviewed By: dk_joy [MediaMiner Member] On: April 03, 2005 21:58 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
It's so good! Please keep going! I can't wait for them to get closer...
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