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| "Slave" Reviews/Comments [ 821 ] | | Pages (55): [ « ‹ 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 › » ] | Reviewed By: Rune On: July 07, 2003 10:00 PDT
Comment/Review:
Hullo,
I'm not rating this time as you already know it and
if you read your reviews please send the unedited version of yer 1st chapter to theresa@goetze.co.uk
thanks plenty in advance.
oh, and if i didn't mention YOUR STORY ROCKS!!!!!
Bye bye Rune | Reviewed By: Dark Oblivion On: July 04, 2003 02:44 PDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!!!! | Reviewed By: kittygirl On: July 03, 2003 13:57 PDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
hey thanks for telling me you read these but on the more important note hurry with the next chapter k thanks bunches later | Reviewed By: kris On: July 03, 2003 00:11 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
You just love those cliffhangers, don't you? Just cruel! Trying to be patient! | Reviewed By: Ithilwen [MediaMiner Member] On: July 02, 2003 18:15 PDT
Comment/Review:
Ilandra's thought wording suggests that she really does intend for Bulma to be free once they escape. ...but the Saiyans recognized her value for making weapons. Would her father really let her loose?
Nice tie-in with chapter four. So Veggie does think that Bulma's going quasi-willingly. I'd think him angrier...
The heart muscle, at least human heart muscle is so dense and tough that cutting or burning it is very hard. A saiyan heart or saiyan teeth? Bets, anyone? | Reviewed By: veggies_grl [MediaMiner Member] On: July 02, 2003 00:34 PDT
Comment/Review:
Need...more....story!!!!*bangs head on computer desk* | Reviewed By: PanChan On: July 01, 2003 13:22 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
My only suggestion would be to run it through a spell check one more time before posting. Otherwise I absolutely love it and hope you write soon. PLease write more as soon as possibly possible Please hurry, It's been over a week since you last posted, please don't leave us hanging.
Arigatou,
PanChan
A.K.A (PanChan_VegetasPrincess@hotmail.com) | Reviewed By: Da Bomb On: June 30, 2003 23:33 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I know I don't always review and I usually dont read your updated chapter when you first put them out. Anyway I want to say you have me hooked, I want to know weither Vegeta gets to Bulma before she leaves or she escapes his skillful hands Ja ne! | Reviewed By: Kaioh On: June 29, 2003 19:37 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love Nine inch nails "head like a hole" hahaha nost of his songs are about God and HELL, but he talks to god like a woman he wants to abuse, so it sounds kinky.. lol here something to read, wile we wait for more fan fics ^_^ MY FAV NIN SONG is "we're in this together now"
god money i'll do anything for you
god money just tell me what you want me to
god money nail me up against the wall
god money don't want everything he wants it all
no you can't take it
no you can't take it
no you can't take that away from me
no you can't take it
no you can't take it
no you can't take that away from me
head like a hole
black as your soul
i'd rather die
than give you control
head like a hole
black as your soul
i'd rather die
than give you control
bow down before the one you serve
you're going to get what you deserve
bow down before the one you serve
you're going to get what you deserve
~*~
if she says come inside i'll come inside for her
if she says give it all i'll give everything to heri am justifiedi am purified
i am sanctified
inside you
~*~
i've become
impossible
holding on to when
when everything seemed to matter more
the two of us (all used)all used and beaten up
watching fateas it flows
down the path
we have chose
you and me
we're in this together now
none of them can stop us now
we will make it through somehow
you and me
if the world should break in two
until the very end of me
until the very end of you
awake to the soundas they peel apart the skin
they pick and they pull
trying to get their fingers in
well they've got to kill what we found
well they've got to hate what they fear
well they've got to make it go away
well they've got to make it disappear
the farther i fall i'm beside you
as lost as i get i will find you
the deeper the wound i'm inside you
for ever and ever i am a part of
you and me
we're in this together now
none of them can stop us now
we will make it through somehow
you and meif the world should break in two
until the very end of me
until the very end of you
all that we were is gone we have to hold
all that we were is gone we have to hold
when all our hope is gone we have to hold
all that we were is gone but we can hold on
you and me
we're in this together now
none of them can stop us now
we will make it through somehow
~*~
"get down"
"how old were you when you first let a man make love to you? next, who was he? next, how did you feel at the time? next, how did you feel afterwards? what did you feel? what did you think? were you pleased? frightened? ecstatic? disgusted? what did he say? what words did you speak? that's what i want to know... now, tell me, now, now, all of it, now, tell me, yes!"
"yes, yes, yes, yes"
get down, make love
get down, make love
get down, make love
get down, make love
you take my body
i give you heat
you say you hungry
i give you meat
i suck your mind
you blow my head
make love inside your bed
everybody
get down, make love
get down, make love
get down, make love
get down, make love
every time i get hot you wanna cool down
every time i get high you say wanna go down
you say it's enough
in fact it's too much
every time i wanna
get down
get down
get down, make love
i can squeeze
you can shake me
i can feel
when you break me
come on so heavy
then you take me
you make love, you make love, you make love, you make love
you can make everybody
get down, make love
get down, make love
every time i get hot you wanna cool down
every time i get high you say wanna go down
you say it's enough
in fact it's too much
every time i wanna
get down
get down
get down, make love
"get down"
"get down"
"get down"
"get down"
get down
make love
get down
make love
get down
make love
get down
make love
every time I get hot you wanna cool down
every time I get high you say wanna go down
you say it's enough
in fact it's too much
every time I wanna
get down
get down
get down, make love
~*~
i am a big man(yes i am)
and i've got a big gun
got me a big old dick and i
i like to have fun
held against your forehead
well, i'll make you suck it
maybe i'll put a hole in your head
you know, just for the fuck of it
well, i can reduce you if i want
i can devour
i'm hard as fucking steel, i've got the power
i'm every inch a man, and i'll show you somehow
me and my fucking gun
nothing can stop me now
shoot
shoot
shoot
shoot
shoot
i'm going to come all over you
shootshootshootshootshoot
i'm going to come all over you
shootshootshootshootshoot
i'm going to come all over you
shootshootshootshootshoot
i'm going to come all over you
me and my fucking gun
me and my fucking gun
me and my fucking gun
me and my fucking gun (my fucking gun)
me and my fucking gun (my fucking gun)me and my fucking gun (my fucking gun)
me and my fucking gun
me and my fucking gun
~*~
well he has LOTS and lots of songs like this, but I can't list them all HAHAHA
if you like it go download it!! ^_^ sorry this is so big but what the hell. | Reviewed By: Lady Sakura [MediaMiner Member] On: June 28, 2003 14:55 PDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like this fic. Vegeta acts like the true prideful bastard that he is. I really like V/B slave stories. Keep it comin'! | Reviewed By: Toiletpaper On: June 28, 2003 10:41 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow! I love this fic! I usually go for the ones with some romance to them, but this is very intriguing and you write it very well. I love your work and I think you do a wonderful job in writing fanfiction. The plot is very original and interesting and the scenes really make you think. I think the lemons should have been a little more descriptive and longer, but they were still incredibly entertaining. If you need some lemon ideas read stuff from Tina Lang or read the story Bitter Harvest.Some of moonsaiyanprincess's stuff has some really good lemons, but it usually isn't very dark. She likes comedy better. Try reading The Long Way Home to get my drift (very funny and with lots of sexuality.) Personally I like the dark and light stuff in fics. This fic is absolutely almost every readers dream come true. Some bondage and a hint of romance is a wonderful mix, no? I can't wait to see what happens next and hope you update very soon. You have so much talent! Is Ilandra a lesbo? FYI: I have nothing against lesbians, I'm just wondering. I'm surprised Frieza had a child--with a woman! We all know how straight he is. I do think they eventually will end up loving eachother (b/v) but it justs takes lots of time. In the conditions they're in it's hard to fall in love. I don't really like the really muchy gushy sap kind of thing, just that it has honor. I don't like the fact that people use eachother cause I think it's a little unfiar in life. Oh, well. What thing is fair in life anways? But, I do think you should have someone else checking your work since there were some more mistakes in this fic than I usually see in your other ones. Don't ask me. I'm super with that kind of stuff (I skipped four grades) but I'm busy and I can be a little lazy when I choose to. Hopefully Bulma won't get raped again. I have almost gotten raped before and it wasn't too cool. Thankfully I had my trusy pen with me. I never thought a pen could be so useful.So, I think Bulma should be a little stronger and Vegeta should be a little more considerate. Maybe his father's death will knock a little something into him. That Zucchini girl just doesn't know when to give up, but if I was bethrode to Vegeta I would try! I feel a little sorry for Bulma though, but this fic is so nice to read cause it's very different compared to the usual Bulma gets kidnapped, becomes a slave, and she and Vegeta fall madly in love thing. It just shows that there are limitless ways to writing. Oh, nad the thing I don't like is when people write fics where the couples are mismatched like Goku and Bulma or Vegeta and 18. It freaks me out. Hey, I don't really mind the one-shot yuri or yaoi things, but, you get the point. I'd like to see a sadistic fic where Vegeta gets enslaved. That would be interesting. Have you ever tried a comedy fic? I think you would be good at it. We all need a good laugh now and then. I am really lookkng forward to the ending and how it'll turn out. Bulma's pregnant isn't she? That should change Veggie's perspective a little when he sees his son wrapped up in a little blanket and with an emense power level for a youngster. Will Vegeta become the Legendary? It's good that Brolly is so loyal to his Prince. It helps a lot. I can't wait to see how Veg-boy feels about this. In my opinion, I don't know about yours, but I think Bulma and Vegeta are perfect for eachother. They just fit so well like two halves of a puzzle as it's commonly said. Well, I hope things go well in their lives and they find their true happiness in whatever form it comes in. Keep putting in those v/b lemons! You rock if you haven't noticed! And Lady D, too. Both of you guys have great potential and you guys write very well together. Two great authors and one mind-blowing story. Cool.
Toodles!
Toiletpaper! I like that name, teehee! | Reviewed By: kittygirl On: June 27, 2003 14:16 PDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
dammit women will you get the next chapter postid i dont like to be mean but damn your taking a long ass time | Reviewed By: Gotenfan18 On: June 26, 2003 22:20 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i love how u have so many unexpected events! continue! | Reviewed By: bishoujo On: June 26, 2003 19:44 PDT
Comment/Review:
first of all, i'd like to say that i really like your stories. there was just one little thing that really bothered me. in your note you were replying to a flame, you said "Why don’t you go and read something by lavendergoddessv? Her stuff is probably more your kind of thing since your so opposed to anything remotely alternate". i don't know if you were making fun of her work cuz it sounded like that. LavendergoddessV is one of the most (if not the most) talented fanfic writers out there. her work is both orginal and well structured. i don't think you should say such a thing about her stories when there are also things that you can improve on. | Reviewed By: weirdisneato On: June 26, 2003 18:29 PDT
Comment/Review:
Did you name that girl Zucchini on prupose?
Anyway, keep on writing. | | Pages (55): [ « ‹ 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 › » ] |
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