| "Always A First Time" Reviews/Comments [ 259 ] |
| Pages (18): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 › » ] |
Reviewed By: nan de mo chibi otoko On: April 21, 2005 22:44 EDT
Comment/Review:
yes you should, ooh, so orgasmic
|
Title: you made my day
Reviewed By: vegges mate On: April 20, 2005 22:37 EDT
Comment/Review:
it's so good to see an update. i love how this story is moving along (don't know if i mentioned that the last time). i particularly enjoyed the conversation between dr. briefs and his wife. that was cute. i've never actually read them having a conversation like normal ppl but with the quirks we all know and love. everything about vegeta, the swimming and alien weirdness, is always a treat to read about. so thumbs up for that! sadly though, it wasn't cool that you ended when things were heating up between our favorite couple (though it was just perfect how the chapter ended). ^_^ i love the whole scene from when she decided to watch that naughty tape till the end . you have a real knack for bringing characters to life and showing dynamism between them. loved the sexual energy, btw. i'm really enjoying this story very much. keep up the excellent work!
|
Reviewed By: i dun feel like log'n on On: April 20, 2005 19:22 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i love your story thats all just up date soon.
|
Title: amazed
Reviewed By: starbrella (not sighed on) On: April 20, 2005 17:44 EDT
Comment/Review:
awww, another great chapter from you. I like the vegeta perpective on it! I think you're doing a great job! hehehe, i knew somthing like that would happen when Bulma looked at the video ::wink:: Keep up the great work and update SOON!
|
Reviewed By: TT On: April 20, 2005 10:49 EDT
Comment/Review:
i tried to read very very slowly, but it still ended too soon.. quick next chapter!
|
Reviewed By: rose of vegetasei On: April 20, 2005 10:22 EDT
Comment/Review:
*sighs* That was an evil ending. Do we get details in the next chapter? The descriptions were so beautiful (especially the naked Vegeta). I laughed at Mrs. Briefs comment that Vegeta may have eaten a dinosaur (eh, after the incident with Goku I don't blame her). You are so in character with everyone (like Dr. Briefs saying there's something refreshing about negatively chaged ions streaking from the sky (course this was paraphrased)). Keep up the good work. I can't wait to read more.
|
Reviewed By: dbzfanjess On: April 20, 2005 09:54 EDT
Comment/Review:
that was intense and so well written... I have to go with Ember with the repetitive laps... I do that when I swim to escape... my body commiting to an action that doesn't even register in my mind... that was so well written... and I love how you ended it... very well done... it was awesome.
|
Reviewed By: Ember [MediaMiner Member] On: April 20, 2005 08:25 EDT
Comment/Review:
Oh my! I can't believe such a hot and beautifully written chapter was dedicated to me. *Sniffles* There were just so many nice touches in this chapter. Vegeta's repetitive swimming to help clear his head. God! How many times have I been working out, doing exactly the same thing - going through the motions while my mind is out on an adventure of its own. Then there was the scene with Mr. and Mrs. Briefs. I loved the little ashtray repartee, and then the contemplative insight into their daughters private life that helped the plot along. And I don't think I need to tell you that I loved the ending... wonderful work, and thank you for the dedication. *hugs*
|
Reviewed By: MelizaMac [MediaMiner Member] On: April 18, 2005 20:41 EDT
Comment/Review:
Isn't that Bulma just amazing? She can carry on a conversation with Yamcha, all the while dwelling on the little number she shared with Vegeta in the atrium! I was waiting for her to slip up... "Dessert's the best part. After sex with Vegeta!" But no, she held it together. I did feel worry for Yamcha, though. He handled the evening like a gentleman, and I loved the bit with the violin. Very classy. Great job again, Deb!
|
Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna [MediaMiner Member] On: April 17, 2005 20:07 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Lol, good chapter. I am so happy Bulma didn't say yes! She's a smart girl ;) Yamcha's so stupid, taking her to a crappy little place to eat. Update soon!
|
Reviewed By: The Oujis Mate [MediaMiner Member] On: April 17, 2005 12:03 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow. I never thought I'd actually say this, but poor Yamcha. We all knew it would happen though. That was a perfect evening. You're really great with getting the chapters out there, so I know I won't be waiting long for your next fantastic chapter.
|
Reviewed By: MelY On: April 16, 2005 23:21 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great job, I like the approach to how you are writing this story.
|
Title: amazed
Reviewed By: star-brella (not sighed on) On: April 16, 2005 14:42 EDT
Comment/Review:
As i expected another great chapter! I'm happy about the way Yamcha reacted...sort of..i didn't expect him to act as 'calm' but then again, i guess he sort of knew that there wasn't 'love' btw them. only frdship. I can't wait for your next update! So do it soon!!!
|
Reviewed By: Ember [MediaMiner Member] On: April 16, 2005 09:53 EDT
Comment/Review:
What a beautiful chapter. I loved all the subtle nuances in it. No great drama, but flashes of meaning that make it so much more powerful than angst. Something tells me Yamcha didn't take the 'no' for a permanency. Exellent work Debbie. *hugs*
|
Reviewed By: TT On: April 16, 2005 09:05 EDT
Comment/Review:
This is good, not to mushy or sappy or angry, yet hits all the right places! So you are a few chapters ahead? please update soon, i cant wait!
|
| Pages (18): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 › » ] |
