| "Always A First Time" Reviews/Comments [ 259 ] |
| Pages (18): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 › » ] |
Title: aaaargh!
Reviewed By: free-sprit (it takes like two seconds to log in, and i really dont have the time. :P) On: June 05, 2005 12:37 EDT
Comment/Review:
I told you I was gonna cry if she didnt said it to him! and Im crying a river, I haaaate waiting for this! It so exciting... wee! keep it up! Loooved it. :)
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Reviewed By: Jess *do I ever sign in* On: June 05, 2005 11:43 EDT
Comment/Review:
Great chapter... I loved the examination of the mental torture of Vegeta while he is in space. I like how you examine what he has to face while he is alone. I like how you also show what bulma is up to while he is gone... It was a very deep and enjoyable read... I'm only going to point one thing out: "What? You're came to the party with a date? - the you're I figured it may have just been over looked but I just wanted to tell you... silly error but you'd want to know... alright I'm out keep up the good work
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Reviewed By: miaka16 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 03, 2005 21:07 EDT
Comment/Review:
Ah Dchan this chapter was a fun read! But there was quite a bit of good development too....I'm dying to find out if Vegeta will find out about Bulma's condition before he leaves......
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Title: CHAPTER 8
Reviewed By: Venus Legacy On: June 03, 2005 19:51 EDT
Comment/Review:
aww Yamcha is really sweet in this chapter especially the way he handles Bulma's rejection and calls the violinist over but something makes me wonder if he really believes it's over for he says at the end "Especially the after part." But then he could just be referring to his hope that they survive three years, as i feel there really is a sense of closure in Bulma and Yamcha's romantic relationship. I was quite fascinated by the way you described Bulma's reaction to Yamcha's ring, for she says: 'But the big lapis stone kept making her think of a lone, abandoned dino egg' For some reason i immediately got an image of Vegeta for he is a lone member of his race (Goku considers himself an earthling.) The fact that Bulma has been constantly thinking about Vegeta also shows that he has been prevalent on her mind. The next line after that where she says:'The eggs that never made it--the dinos in captivity were too poorly socialized, deserted their mates and the nests before the natural cycle of brood-nurturing could happen.' Is quite haunting and seems to carry a sense of foreboding for the future (if the lone egg is Vegeta)by showing that Vegeta will desert Bulma and Trunks in the future. It is quite sad even though i know this will happen, and i'm interested to see how you deal with this. With regards to how this allusion fits into the chapter i can only imagine that on a subconcious level when Bulma rejects the ring she is rejecting Yamcha for Vegeta.
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Title: CHAPTER 7
Reviewed By: Venus Legacy On: June 03, 2005 19:14 EDT
Comment/Review:
It's interesting to see the differences between Yamcha and Vegeta especially when we see Bulma's reflections on the two, for when she receives Yamcha's letter inviting her to a surprise dinner she comments on how transparent he is. I saw a similarity between the predictable and transparent character of Yamcha and the see through letter when Bulma says:' but the paper was so thin that the uneven lettering showed through the ivory-colored parchment weave.' I also liked the simile you used to describe Bulma's anxiety about the situation between her and Vegeta when she says: '...like the thermometer dropped into a vat of scalding water?' I am not too sure about what test Bulma suspects Vegeta is putting her through for they both seem quite wary of each other. In the beginning of this chapter Vegeta suspects that Bulma is putting him through some test, so its interesting to see Bulma share similar thoughts at the end of this chapter. I wonder if she feels he is testing her loyalty, or maybe not her loyalty but her desire for him. For it seems as if he was sending her an image of their sexual encounter with that one intense look in order to remind her that they have unfinished business and that no matter where she goes or what she does with Yamcha she can never forget that.
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Reviewed By: TT On: June 02, 2005 13:17 EDT
Comment/Review:
Oh man, i am sad
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Reviewed By: rose of vegetasei On: June 02, 2005 12:47 EDT
Comment/Review:
Gah! Vegeta, you moron. *sighs* The man really needs to be true to his emotions. LOL. And leave it to Dr. Briefs to make Bulma's pregnancy a research project. I'm starting to see better how Wolfie is fitting into the story now. I'm still curious when Vegeta will find out about the baby. I must say, you are absolutely evil to leave us hanging at the end of each chapter. You really know how to capture your audience and keep them. Can't wait for more.
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Title: aaargh!
Reviewed By: Free-sprit (to god damn lazy to log in) On: June 02, 2005 09:52 EDT
Comment/Review:
aaaarrgh! How long are yoy going to tortue me? If she doesnt tell him in the next chapter, I do not know what I'm gonna do. Cry or something. :p Pleeeease, write the next chapter, very very soon!!!!
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Reviewed By: catgirl26 (not signed in! Am I ever?) On: June 02, 2005 01:34 EDT
Comment/Review:
Oh Vegeta's such an idiot...I don't even know what to say Deb! He's just such a dummy! :D Great chapter though, but am I crazy or do "Wolfgang" and "Miaka" seem just a bit familiar to me? :P One thing I was really happy to see was Bulma's reaction to being pregnant. In a lot of fics, she turns into a weeping pile when Vegeta gets angry about the pregnancy, not having expected that reaction, but your Bulma has considered the situation and is looking forward to it, even if it ruins their relationship forever. I like it! A strong, independent Bulma. Just how she reacted in the anime, to questions about Trunks. Excellent stuff Deb!
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Reviewed By: JESS.... the one and only :) On: June 01, 2005 20:50 EDT
Comment/Review:
That was awesome. Vegeta's perspective of the whole scene almost made me what to cry. That was awesome. I loved the little scene between Miaka and Wolfgang and how you've incorporated a little story line that ties right in and it adds to the story to include little story lines like that. I loved how you kept it light and the playfullness just led us into the seriousness of vegeta. It was a great; Juxtaposing the thought process of these light hearted humans with the deep thoughts of Vegeta. He doesn't understand the playfullness of the humans and he misinterprets the situation; and his own feelings. Very good job interpreting everyone's reactions and showing what everyone's thinking. Now how will Bulma tell Vegeta or is she just going to have to wait for his return. Great job.
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Title: ^_^
Reviewed By: Star-brella (not sighed on) On: June 01, 2005 18:06 EDT
Comment/Review:
awww since when is vegeta so unconfident? N e ways, i love this chapter! like all ur other chapters, i think it's awesome!!! I like the pov of Vegeta...thought it was a bit sad that at the end he was totally going to leave her here and think that she doesn't love him ::cries:: I love this! Keep up the awesome work and i'm looking forward the the next chapter!!!
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Reviewed By: elenek (when was the last time I left a logged in review?) On: June 01, 2005 17:35 EDT
Comment/Review:
Poor Vegeta!!!!! I feel so sorry for him. I guess Wolfie is not getting his tour after all. Can I just say, it may have taken me two chapters but I finally caught on to Schroedinger. *slaps self on head* I may be slow but I'm not stupid. Clever name. I knew I had recognized it from somewhere. Anyway, I liked their awareness of each other. I also liked the mention of all the women dancing in stockinged feet. Very classic and realistic. I also loved Dr. Brief's line about putting together a confrence. Yeah!!!!!
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Title: FANTASTIC!
Reviewed By: Saiyan Slasher (MM.org member!) On: May 31, 2005 21:04 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Your fanfiction is absolutely fantastic! And, I am about to go on an absolute complimentory rave about it! So read it all, and soak it all in, because you deserve it! This is most definitely the best Vegeta x Bulma fanfiction I have ever read during my time here at MM.Org, which as been a little over a year, but still, I have found nothing to match this. Ever. The way you write is fantastic, enrapturing, ensnaring, completely captivating. And the way you write Vegeta is absolutely astounding! Not to mention Bulma. No one, in my opinion, could write anything else in comparison to this. You've had me glued to my seat since 00:00am, and now, it is 02:01am in the morning. I am buzzing. I simply cannot say how much I want to kick myself for not finding this fic from the start and commenting all the way through to give you support, but, here I am now, and I hope to give you a jolly good ego boost, so you can get writing the nineteenth chapter, which I hope will be up sooner rather than later, I'm practically -itching- to read it! Good luck, anyway, and I hope more of your reviewers write long things like this for you, because you deserve every character, every word, and every paragraph, because you, my dear, are a unique writer in the VxG fanfiction world! - Saiyan Slasher
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Reviewed By: dbzfanjess On: May 31, 2005 18:14 EDT
Comment/Review:
wonderful chapter... I liked the miaka and wolfie were included. Great job... The Dr. Briefs perspective was amazing and the small scene from veg's perspective was as usual exceptionally written
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Reviewed By: chantal [MediaMiner Member] On: May 31, 2005 06:37 EDT
Comment/Review:
It`s good to see a non-bashing yamcha. I love the way you wrote the charakters in this. I hope I can read the next chapter soon.
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| Pages (18): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 › » ] |
