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| "Always A First Time" Reviews/Comments [ 259 ] | | Pages (18): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 › » ] | Title: Always A First Time
Reviewed By: maccam [MediaMiner Member] On: June 10, 2005 07:08 EDT
Comment/Review:
I took the night off from chatting just to read your story Deb. It's different and unique just like you. i love different spins on Vegeta and Bulma stories. can't wiat to read the next chapter.
| Title: I loved it!
Reviewed By: snen (problems logging in, as usual) On: June 10, 2005 04:43 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ooo look! I can review without signing in (I feel like such an idiot). I really loved chapter 21, especially the way it was written as though Vegeta really was suffering mental damage shown through the sudden breaking of sentances and memories into each other. It was fascinating knowing what goes through his head, and it was also a very plausible link to the actual DBZ anime, made even more so to the references to what happened in the anime, such as the meteor storm. However, you made it original and very emotionally complex, adding to the depth of the transformation to Super Saiya-jin. There was a small error when you wrote about the only thing Vegeta knew how to do was fight - the word order is slightly confused.
| Reviewed By: eleneK * again with the no logging in* On: June 09, 2005 23:56 EDT
Comment/Review:
It was great. I loved the progression in Vegeta's rage. Going from nothing to full boil. and the trigger at the end when he realized that the only person he had to be mad at was himself. It seemed to twist and writhe.
| Reviewed By: Jess... On: June 09, 2005 14:43 EDT
Comment/Review:
well written chapter and great investigation into Vegeta's past... You did a great job... and I need to go get ready for work now... ;)
| Reviewed By: rose of vegetasei On: June 09, 2005 13:00 EDT
Comment/Review:
What an emotionally charged chapter. I was surprised by Vegeta's thoughts. When he told Frieza that he was "a warrior, not a diplomat" and how he didn't want to be king anyway, I was shocked being that he was so proud to proclaim he's "the prince of all Saiyans". Then I began to think further and decided that Vegeta only said it just to say it...perhaps to gain Frieza's favor or make him feel less threatened (and we can infer that Frieza was always threatened by the Saiyan race). Then towards the end Vegeta realized that he really did want to be "ruler of the galaxy" when Frieza turned him away. Funny how one sometimes doesn't even know their own mind; they can think one thing and let reality be entirely different. I think you handled the Frieza/Vegeta issues well. You didn't get into lenghty details but gave enough to show the impact it had on Vegeta's life and where he felt the betrayal. Ok, one thing I must debate with you: "tucked his thumb against his palm and shot a Final Flash"...according to my subbed dvds for Android Saga, that should have been Vegeta's Big Bang attack (final flash is both hands psuhed in front of him) - and big bang can only be done in Super Saiyan form. Sorry, but I'm a true Vegeta fangurl! LOL. And a minor sentence suggestion: "how could Vegeta have believed that Frieza had any other plan other than degradation for the Saiyan prince" - I think 2 "others" was too much, perhaps "...Frieza had any plan other than degradation for...prince".
| Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna (not logged in) On: June 09, 2005 10:46 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This chapter was beyond excellent. I loved it; the way that you protrayed the way he was feeling was beyond words. It was amazing to see how he was feeling during those moments, for he doesn't say what he is feeling in the series, you just see it. It was incredible how the way he turned into Super Saiya-jin all had to do with Frieza and his father and all the betrayal he had experienced in his life. The way you protrayed his screams, even the silent ones, were awe-inspiring. I just sat there and read, with my mouth hanging open. And the last sentence--I AM SUPER SAIYA-JIN. It was a perfect, PERFECT ending. And even though we have been going on for quite a while about that thread about Frieza's Sexuality in DBZ Fanfic Salon and what everyone thinks about it, I think that with what you had Frieza do to Vegeta makes this story all the better, makes it cling closer to your heart and understand the way that Vegeta was feeling. I can't go on enough how beautiful this chapter was--excellent, EXCELLENT job, debbiechan.
| Reviewed By: Flamingo6584 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 07, 2005 09:52 EDT
Comment/Review:
Oh, you are a cruel woman debbiechan!!!
| Title: amazed
Reviewed By: star-brella (not sighed on) On: June 06, 2005 16:20 EDT
Comment/Review:
::cries:: the part where bulma finally saw that vegeta is gone is really sad. But i guess that's how the stort moves on. N e ways great job!
| Reviewed By: rose of vegetasei On: June 06, 2005 11:56 EDT
Comment/Review:
Oh, poor Vegeta. Are we going to get a more in depth look into Vegeta's history? Even with the brief look into his past, I feel for Vegeta. I can't believe that he left before Bulma could tell him about the baby! I think that shocked me. In some ways I saw it coming with the last chapter but to actually see the scene where we know he's gone. I wonder how this will impact Vegeta and the story when he comes back.
| Title: Chapter 15
Reviewed By: Venus Legacy On: June 06, 2005 08:58 EDT
Comment/Review:
It's amazing how Vegeta can just throw a blast at Yamcha and fly away switching his mind to other things as if it was nothing, he may as well have been batting an annoying fly out of the way for all the attention he paid to the matter.Yet I wonder if the confrontation with Yamcha was as insignificant to Vegeta as it first appeared or if it really was something substantial that he just locked away.For earlier on during Bulma and Vegeta's excursion to the sea and their return, he seemed quite frustrated and the anger kept building up inside of him, I see now that this was in part due to jealousy towards Yamcha at approaching Bulma in the pool, but it seems as if something else is niggling away at the prince's soul.His frustration at Bulma's incapabilities under the sea; his desire to leave the ocean and deposit Bulma in her room; the descovery of the blood on Bulma; his horror and seeming disgust at Bulma's pleas to continue their activities and his impassioned desire to leave again.I wonder what he is really angry about.The scene with Vegeta training in the sea is immensely enthralling, i felt as if Vegeta was desperately trying to obtain some purging, or purification of his soul.I was reminded of what Yamcha said about Vegeta training as if he is running away from something. For it definately seemed as if there was a demon hot on his heels that Vegeta just couldn't escape from. His diving 'deep deep' into the water also reminded me of his recurring dreams or nightmares
| Title: Chapter 12
Reviewed By: Venus Legacy On: June 06, 2005 06:15 EDT
Comment/Review:
Oh my gosh Yamcha don't go to the pool! Yamcha wants a dip inside Bulma but it would seem the pool is somewhat engaged,ha ha what an evil cliff hanger i'm glad i don't have to wait i'm on to the next chapter.
| Title: Chapter 11
Reviewed By: Venus Legacy On: June 06, 2005 05:58 EDT
Comment/Review:
A very insightful chapter especially the line where Bulma says: 'There was a desperate quality to his lovemaking, like he was trying to show her up, get one over on her, prove something.' There does seem to be a competetive quality about Vegeta that pervades throughout every aspect of his life. In chapter 10 for instance the way you show Vegeta's competetive nature arising during sex: his desire to be 'faster' his unwillingness to let Bulma be on top, you really nailed Vegeta's reflection on his rendezvous with Bulma for it is almost like he is fighting and Bulma is his ultimate sparring partner. In chapter 5 also Vegeta is happy that Bulma did not look triumphant after sex, winning or losing seem to be a big issue for Vegeta. This also made me wonder if Vegeta is comparing Bulma's reaction with that of other people he has had sexual encounters with that have looked triumphant. Sex to Vegeta is thus an act where one person can gain a victory over another. But then what does being victorious mean for vegeta ? when they first had sex he prided himself on not completely letting go; by restraining himself from expressing his pleasure vocally, yet the second time in chapter 10 when he and Bulma are in the shower, she brings him to a point of bliss which leaves him roaring his lungs out, in Vegeta's eyes i wonder if that would be seen as Bulma's victory as if she's got one over on him. This would explain why immediately after he felt he had to repay her for her actions.
| Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna [MediaMiner Member] On: June 05, 2005 20:49 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Lol, great chapter. I was wondering though...how come do I always read about Frieza raping Vegeta when Frieza is asexual? Did he rape him with his tail or fingers or something? Just wondering.
| Title: Chapter10 continued
Reviewed By: Venus Legacy On: June 05, 2005 18:34 EDT
Comment/Review:
I am also tempted to speculate that this moment of creation with the steam and the sweet briars blooming, indicates that Bulma may be pregnant, if not it signifies a growth in their relationship, something blossoming between them. As to Vegeta's recurring dream about drowning and the implications this may have on how he views Bulma (figure of water) i'm not too sure, it does indicate a sense of ambiguity which may be illustrating his anxieties.I am confused as to whether Vegeta was a virgin or not before he slept with Bulma as he says at the end of this chapter that on Freiza's ship he would throw whores out of his room by their hair after he had finished sleeping with them, yet you mentioned previously that he preferred masturbating then unleashing his sexual frustration on a whore. Yet on rereading chapter 4 again i noticed you said he preferred his hand to a vast majority of them, leading me to think that there may be a minority which he did not prefer his hand over. In this case it would seem he is not a virgin (not taking into account the hints that Vegeta was raped but the times he has willingly slept with someone for pleasure.)Overall i loved this chapter the intimate moments between the two were portrayed brilliantly, the way you subtly intertwine the gentle gestures with the engaging dialogue: vegeta leaning into Bulma's caress is one of my favourites.
| Title: Chapter 10
Reviewed By: Venus Legacy On: June 05, 2005 17:33 EDT
Comment/Review:
Att the beginning of this chap when Vegeta reflects on his dreams of drowning he mentions a time on Namek when Zarbon beat him within an inch of his life and left him to drown. I always thought it was the other way round unless the scene where Vegeta beats up Zarbon and leaves him dying in the Namek sea is retaliating against a prior confrontation which i missed in the Namek saga (I haven't watched every episode so i probably missed that). If that is the case then it would seem that Vegeta associates water with dying, being defeated and unfamiliar territory, which at the same time seems to be quite comforting, due to the way he describes his 'near-death experience.' However, i wonder what implications this has on his relationship with Bulma. For she is associated with the motif of Water, whereas Vegeta is associated with the motif of Fire. On trying to identify this intriguing relationship i noticed that these motifs have connotations of coldness and heat representing Bulma and Vegeta respectively. When Bulma seems to cool Vegeta down he seems to heat her up, both actions having positive affects on the characters as the coolness of Bulma's touch seems to soothe Vegeta. During their intense sexual encounters a profound act of creation appears to be taking place, the rising steam (as a result of the fusion between Hot and Cold) When we are told that the next day 'Dozens of Sweet Briars had bloomed overnight' this heightens the sense of something significant taking place.
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