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| "Always A First Time" Reviews/Comments [ 259 ] | | Pages (18): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 › » ] | Title: Chap 5 continued 'I am not a whore'
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: April 06, 2005 12:16 EDT
Comment/Review:
Oh my daze i've never run out of words before in a review, i guess that's mediaminers way of tellin me to shut up, ha ha u can see where the line just cut off completely. Any way on with the review. I felt a sense of ambiguity on whether Vegeta was raped but not vanquished, or simply just not vanquished, meaning Frieza (who i assume is the speaker) was never able to overcome, or dominate Vegeta. But is he just speaking in sexual terms? i'm not sure, the fact that Vegeta remembers such an occurence during sex with Bulma makes it likely, and also gives an insight into why he assosiates sex with power and why he is reluctant to lose control. Hot damn! this chapter is good, can't wait till the next one.
| Title: Chapter 5
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: April 06, 2005 12:06 EDT
Comment/Review:
ooooh that chapter was goood. At first when you said it was going to be a lemon chapter i thought maybe it was a bit too soon but after reading it i coldn't help but notice how well it followed chapter 4. Not only with the sexual tension being eased, but the way chapter 5 seemed to portray the anxieties of chapter 4; where we were given an insight into Vegeta's views on sex and then chapter 5 showed those views in action. Whenever he thinks about sex he always associates it with the whores on Freiza's ship; marely there to give pleasure to the men. So it was interesting to see how he reacted when Bulma made the first move, regarding her as a whore at first, as he kept his hands to himself, allowing her to give him pleasure. The title 'I am not a whore' is very fitting as well, as Bulma seems to be challenging his previous views on sex. Although it appears she still has a way to go as Vegeta still associates sex with power, for he is reluctant to lose control, and completely let himself go. The folowing line is slightly chilling: "Dodoria, I would not expect a ruffian like you to understand, but resistance is not the only delight. The boy pleases me not because he can be vanquished like your filthy disposable whores, but because he cannot be. I am the only one who touches the little monkey prince, is that clear?" I felt a sense of ambiguity on whether Vegeta was raped but not vanquished, or simply just not vanquished, meaning Frieza (who i assume is the speaker) was never able | Reviewed By: TT On: April 06, 2005 11:20 EDT
Comment/Review:
more more
| Reviewed By: ahorse(offline) On: April 02, 2005 02:23 EST
Comment/Review:
Ah..a cliffhanger. Just sat down and read what's written so far. Glad you're updating weekly, and I like the qoutes before each chapter. Hopefully there's a lemon in future chapters; and is it just me or is there a definite theme of blue in this story? Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink.
| Reviewed By: Tempest/Tempting On: April 01, 2005 13:48 EST
Comment/Review:
I FINALLY got some free time to sit down and read this and I'm so thrilled that I did. I'm so proud of you! Its wonderful. I love how you portray Bulma's mother as insightful but ditzy at the same time. It reminded me that in highschool we all think our mother is an idiot but she always manages to but things into perspective for us. I like how you explained why Vegeta was still on the planet. No one is space was worthy enough for him to rule. You grasped his deep feelings about Frieza's defeat by another's hands and anger toward Goku very well. You explainations for Vegeta being a virgin are believable. It makes me wonder how you are going to broach having sex. I'm ashamed to say that I hope that you write a lemon. I want to see your version of virgin goodness. I also think you have them both down pat. When they were conversing in the kitchen, you displayed both their personalities perfectly. Vegeta didnt' say to much, but when he did it had raw meaning, while Bulma chatted away with hidden purpose. I like how he 'slaughtered' her good mood. Great choice of words. I can't read more. Until nex time. Spank ya later. Tempest
| Reviewed By: TT On: April 01, 2005 11:45 EST
Comment/Review:
I love it its great. i tot it was strange that you waited so long to write the three years, perhaps with all the other wonderful BVs you wrote, you can portray your characters perfectly. you are damn good!
| Title: Sorry
Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2005 11:34 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Lol, I had to leave another review because I ran out of characters! Back to Vegeta. This just had to be genius what you wrote here: The woman's ki was insignificant, except that Vegeta had taken to listening for nighttime spikes in it. Climax after climax of white-hot emotion that was--surprisingly!--not anger or terror, but pure sexual joy. Interesting that human females had this capacity…. Interesting that the Earth warrior didn't have to be nearby for the blue-haired one to display such…excitement? I totally cracked up when I got the meaning of it...Bulma is experiencing this "excitement" by herself! Lol, poor, insignificant YAMCHA! He must suck at the naughty! Oh yes, and I was just wondering. You touched on the subject of Vegeta wanting another being, but then saying something about how they are weak, ugly, foul whores. Does that mean, like you said, that he prefers his own hand, or has he really actually had sex with other creatures? Just wondering. Ah yes, time for me to close this review, for I am running out of characters again. I cannot WAIT for the next chapter...so much that can happen with just this simple statement: And the next thing Bulma knew she was going to him. She was going to settle this crazy longing inside herself once and for all. All I can say is that I hope it's good debbiechan!
| Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2005 11:28 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This chapter was by far superior to anything that I have read in a long time. I was just DYING half the time with the things that you make Bulma think or say. You write Bulma in a way that totally grabs my attention. "Did the Saiyan warrior know what a kiss was? Had he ever felt a hand on his body that wasn't shaped into a fist? What was the sum of his sexual experience?" Of course she has to think about his sexual experience, she is Bulma Briefs! And then "What the HELL are you looking at, Vegeta?" She was exhausted. She was annoyed. "Will you stop staring at my breasts?...." LOL, she has no qualms about saying whatever she wants, now does she? "She looked him square in the face. She didn't care anymore. "I'm tired, Vegeta. Either kill me or fuck me or do whatever you want, because I'm going to take a shower, and then I'm going to go to bed. But forget about your training bots. Just forget about them."" That was freaking genius and I laughed so hard that I almost cried. And then Vegeta's all like, "Fuck?" Now, Vegeta. I love how you mingle his thinking with that of his past, how he's always thinking about death or destruction or people dying, somehow mixing together with his present tense self. And I swear to GOD that I laughed so hard when I read this that I woke my boyfriend up down the hall, "The strong fucked the less-strong, the less-strong fucked the weak, and the weak were often fucked to death." If I ever read something so funny again...LOL!
| Reviewed By: Ember [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2005 05:26 EST
Comment/Review:
Gah! Evil woman! You can't leave it there! I love this story. The sexual tension is just right, and the pacing and diction are perfect, just perfect.
| Title: VenusLegacy
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: March 31, 2005 15:01 EST
Comment/Review:
Ouch! i can just feel the sexual tension whipping back and fourth like the 'scourge' in Bulmas hand. I liked the way you gave us an interesting insight into Vegetaas sexual history or lack there of, he seemed to always be the one looking from the outside in, never a part of it even when he talks about Yamucha and Bulma's relationship: ' pure sexual joy. Interesting that human females had this capacity…. Interesting that the Earth warrior didn't have to be nearby for the blue-haired one to display such…excitement?'lol I thought that was funny. Hmmm i like the virginal Vegeta especially when he said: '"Are you telling me that you dislike having your body appreciated?"' I mean what can you say to that? Thanks for the shout out as well :)
| Reviewed By: dbzfanjess On: March 31, 2005 13:12 EST
Comment/Review:
that was a great update... I loved the interactions between the two it was amazing
| Reviewed By: Rose of Vegetasei On: March 31, 2005 11:46 EST
Comment/Review:
Gah! You're killing me, Deb. I have to say I loved this line: Interesting that the Earth warrior didn't have to be nearby for the blue-haired one to display such…excitement? I got a good laugh out of that. I have nothing to offer to make this better (you got Lisa for that). Can't wait for more!
| Reviewed By: The Oujis Mate [MediaMiner Member] On: March 28, 2005 18:45 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oooooo, nature following its course can be dangerous...especially for Yamcha, lol. That was a great chapter!!!
| Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna [MediaMiner Member] On: March 27, 2005 20:47 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
lol, another great chapter. i love Vegeta's character, you get into his brain like ive never seen anyone else do it. can't wait for the next chapter!
| Reviewed By: TT On: March 26, 2005 05:18 EST
Comment/Review:
I like the way you present other smaller characters, their observation gives insights to vegeta and bulma. this is a fresh approach from just stating them directly, good job! Please update very fast i cant wait
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