| "Always A First Time" Reviews/Comments [ 259 ] |
| Pages (18): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 › » ] |
Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna [MediaMiner Member] On: June 25, 2005 19:22 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Freaking right was that excellent. I loved it! It totally cracked me up when Bulma's eyes centered like lasers on Yamcha's face, and then how she visualized chopping off Vegeta's penis with a dull razor! I think I nearly died. I can't wait for the next chapter!
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Reviewed By: flamingo6584 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 25, 2005 17:16 EDT
Comment/Review:
Just got done with the latest 3 chapters. As always they are fabulous. Update soon :-)
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Reviewed By: autumn [MediaMiner Member] On: June 25, 2005 00:15 EDT
Comment/Review:
I just stopped by and saw you have some new chapters, and realized I hadn't taken the time to leave a review in a while!! Sorry! I'm really enjoying your story. I think you're handling the characters' personalities superbly. It's a great read. I'm anxious to see what's in store in the next couple of chapters. Since I read offline I haven't read them yet, but I didn't want to put off leaving a review any longer ;)
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Reviewed By: Addict6606 On: June 24, 2005 21:12 EDT
Comment/Review:
I loooooved this chapter! My favourite aspect is that Vegeta kinda turned all Zen and is saying everything is random data and now he doesn't dream, he seeeing clearly but he can't see clearly that the baby's his. Can't wait for the next chapter but if i have to wait longer becuase your doing a one shot i will gladly wait! Jus t hope the one shot is post-buu i love those! Keep up the goood work
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Reviewed By: Elenek [MediaMiner Member] On: June 24, 2005 19:24 EDT
Comment/Review:
Now I'm mad. My review didn't post!!!! Enjoyable chapter. I find it amusing that when Vegeta found out that Bulma was having a baby it never occured to him that it might be his. He apparently could put two and two together to figure out how babies were made. hmmm Almost makes me wonder about his intelect. Wolfie got lucky. Vegeta didn't kill him. Don't know about the whole giving birth thing so I can't really comment there. -El-
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Title: chap23
Reviewed By: Venus Legacy On: June 24, 2005 18:25 EDT
Comment/Review:
oooh Dr Wolfgang seems as if he wants to go on the hunt alone, I wonder what he will do if he does find Gero's hideout. I know he wants to Kill Gero but what will he do if he's faced with the androids, oh well he does wish to prove the superiority of brains over brawn so I'm sure he'll find a way. Vegeta does not put much stock in the constancy of people's loyalty, which is understandable considering what we learn about his thoughts on King Vegeta and Freiza for he must really have low faith in other people to think that Bulma was seeing someone else the same time she was sleeping with him. It also shows how insecure he really is to think that no one would want to be loyal to him. I wonder at what point he does realise that he is the father of Bulma's child, for in the anime Bulma tells Goku when they meet up for the androids that she hasn't seen Vegeta, yet later on when Piccollo calls Future trunks by his name Vegeta says thats the same name as my son. This leads me to question when exactly he did find out. The atmosphere between the pair in the anime when they meet again is as if each has done a great wrong to the other, which fits in with the scenario you have created when both sides believe that they have been deliberately hurt by the other.
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Title: oh forgot something
Reviewed By: rose of vegetasei On: June 24, 2005 12:12 EDT
Comment/Review:
In regards to Vegeta and his loss of appetite, is it really because of the SS transformation giving him energy or just his thoughts on Bulma (and her "relationship" with Wolfie)? The reason I ask is because 1) in the tournament saga, we see Vegeta still binges on food and 2) I don't blame him for losing appetite over Bulma having a baby (from whom he believes is her new lover). Also, "noiseless snail"...I saw that description as being redundant because personally I never even heard a snail before...so saying it moved like a noiseless snail seems overdone...just moved like a snail is sufficient , imo.
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Reviewed By: rose of vegetasei On: June 24, 2005 12:08 EDT
Comment/Review:
Well, Bulma gave me an idea for a focul point when I go into labor (a naked Vegeta...^_^). I wasn't surprised at how Vegeta acted at the news of Bulma having a baby (though I do want to knock some sense into the sexy idiot). So now I'm curious to see his reaction when he realizes it's his. What will trigger realization? What will he think then? It's always fun to explore Vegeta's thoughts with him being so complex...and so conflicted also. It's obvious there are lingering feelings for her even if he won't acknowledge it.
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Reviewed By: TT On: June 24, 2005 09:25 EDT
Comment/Review:
Ah! Vegeta is so stupid, he has no conifidence in nobody including himself! you are ging to stop for a couple of weeks?? This is going to be such a long wait :(
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Reviewed By: snen (problems logging in, as usual) On: June 24, 2005 04:36 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Just wanted to say how touching this was: "Vegeta had scars on almost every part of his body except for his face and hands. She imagined that his heart was like that. Damaged but not ruined. Maybe something as fine and pure as his strength itself had saved it, kept it whole." I really loved that. Also, it's nice to see Bulma in such kick ass form :D
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Reviewed By: MelizaMac [MediaMiner Member] On: June 22, 2005 22:39 EDT
Comment/Review:
I like the extra "meat" you added to Vegeta's transformation. It adds so much more to the emotional buildup. I can't see Frieza taking the prince from his father at such a young age and not doing something abhorrent to him. Poor Bulma - those extra hormones have kicked into overdrive, huh? "How would you describe the father of your child, Ms. Briefs?" "Well, he can destroy a planet with those powerful, yet soft hands. He's a fantastic lover, but doesn't want to be tied down. He'd just as soon kill you as look at you. Oh, how I love that man!" "O... Kay." Woo hoo - it's time for Trunks to make his debut, but instead of coming in with a bang, it'll be with a pop! I can't wait to see how you write the actual birth! :)
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Title: 20 and 21
Reviewed By: Venus Legacy On: June 22, 2005 19:05 EDT
Comment/Review:
being abandoned by his father was not the worst leads me to question what the worst is exactly as chapter 21 i feel explores in more detail the very things which vegeta said was not 'the Worst' I wonder if it is the betrayal, from his father, freiza, himself that was the worst or the very fact that he was impotent to change his circumstance; impotent to do anything about the betrayal he felt, does rage at his own impotence fuel his transformation into a supersaiyan? I wonder if the rape (and Vegeta's enjoyment of it) and abandonment and abuse is not the worst of it for it is with these things that he felt betrayed, double-crossed cheated. What is the worst of it if not these things I wonder.
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Title: Chapter 20-21 continued
Reviewed By: Venus Legacy On: June 22, 2005 18:54 EDT
Comment/Review:
This is probably why Vegeta never wishes to submit to Bulma when they make love as he does not want to allow himself to be defeated by submitting to another person, it seems as if by giving someone else that power over your body you are giving them the power to use it or throw it away, I wonder if he will regain the trust lost in others that will allow him to submit wholeheartedly to Bulma. Another scenario which intrigued me was the conversation between Yamcha and Bulma when she asked him:"So say it was you who had to make the choice. Would you kill Dr. Gero yourself to prevent the destruction of Earth?" At first i was thinking yeah you should kill someone if in the future you knew they would pose a future threat to the life of the planet, but then I thoguht but isn't Vegeta in a similar situation as Dr Gero, after defeating Goku Vegeta wishes to destroy the Earth, or atleast in the past the destruction of the earth was on his agenda. Even back in the saiyan saga Vegeta should be dead according to Bulma's theory, just like Dr Gero you could pull out a whole list of the evil things that he has done, yet we know that in the future Vegeta does not pose a threat to the Earth. This reminds me of a question I was asked in class where my teacher said if you could travel back in time to the birth of Hitler and you saw him in his crib would you kill him? The title of chapter 21 is The Worst which leads on from the last chapter where Vegeta claims the rape abuse was not the
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Title: Chapter 20 and 21
Reviewed By: Venus Legacy On: June 22, 2005 18:24 EDT
Comment/Review:
These two chapters definately tug the thought strings, you interweaved many things, which were subtley hinted at in the previous chapters such as: Vegeta's relationship with Freiza; his father, Bulma and even with himself. It's funny how all these relationships went from one extreme to the next from admiration or love to hate due to Vegeta's sense of being betrayed by them all somehow. The one which perplexes me the most is stil Vegeta and Frieza for it is filled with so much ambivalence, your interpretation of events is quite interesting,I beleieve that Vegeta was abused by Freiza and that his helplessness in this situation effected him more than anything, yet the suggestion that Vegeta enjoyed Freiza's actions throws my mind in a loop, it does seem possible when I read this line'"I make you stronger. You want my power. You do not break beneath it, and I can feel you devouring it. Do you not want my power, Saiyan? You do. You want it. Give in, and I will share it with you. All of it…all my power…."This makes me think that Vegeta was more attracted by the omnipotence which Freiza not only represented but possessed, the way Freiza dangles the promise of power before Vegeta seems almost like a deal being made, with Freiza offering his own power in return for Vegeta's power and submition.Yet when Vegeta does yield, Freiza throws him away like a used toy as if to say I have conquered you and no longer want you , for when you've defeated something it is no longer a cha |
Reviewed By: just an admirer On: June 22, 2005 11:05 EDT
Comment/Review:
Great chapter as usual, except the tone in this one is a but forced. Or did you intend for it to be that way? I don't really feel a sense of urgency in the last part...the pace just stayed the same as the majority of the fic--one didn't really get a sense of the characters' tone of voice--sometimes the speech seemed a bit monotonic, and I had to force myself to read certain parts again, imagining how the words would have been said--subtle hints on the characters' voice inflection would have been nice.
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