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| "Unlikely Bond" Reviews/Comments [ 466 ] | | Pages (32): [ « ‹ 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 › » ] | Title: Chapter 25
Reviewed By: LupinGoddess [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2007 06:58 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I have just been rolling along, enjoying each and every chapter! I had to comment on this particular chapter, most specifcially on your portrayal of Goten. I was never attached to the character: The teen Goten only made a brief appearance at the end of DBZ, and so I didn't become endeared to him the way I had with the other characters. Even in GT (which I disliked very much), his character wasn't developed enough and so failed to impress upon me. Your Goten however I am enjoying more and more! I love his rougish, mischievous, and irreverent qualities. What's more is that you are consistent with these qualities: He has a true personality. I couldn't help but laugh out loud at his reaction to Goku's news. :D Excellent writing!
| Title: Better and better!
Reviewed By: LupinGoddess [MediaMiner Member] On: February 15, 2007 06:07 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This fic has got me wrapped up in its plot like no other has done for a while. Heh, I actually foresaw Goten re-reading that particular line of text on Saiyan anatomy. Heck - I'd have to reaffirm too, were I in that situation! When I see a character react in my mind's eye a moment before I actually read his reaction, I know I'm hopelessly involved with the story! Only truly exceptional writing has this ability. I've been enjoying each chapter as much as the last. I'm hooked!
| Title: angsty pairing
Reviewed By: LupinGoddess [MediaMiner Member] On: February 12, 2007 15:21 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
The premise of the story - that of the abduction of Vegeta's and Goku's children by rogue Saiyans - is what caught my eye. I could surmise from the obvious implications of the fic title that there would be a G/V pairing, but the circumstances under which they'd join had me intrigued. I'm not at all a fan of G/V pairings: I can't imagine these two rivals being lovey-dovey with each other. You however pulled it off in a very believable manner, and I can't stop reading. I also like the refreshing swap in roles: So often Goku is the dominant one, and such stories overall are little more than smut. You've got an actual story going on here, in which the pairing is more of a backdrop. Spelling and grammar is overall pretty good, though there are a few mistakes; There is the occasional misuse of the words "too" (which means "including") and "to". "Hear" (to listen) is sometimes incorrectly used in place of "here", and "stared" is continually misspelled as "starred". That's about all the spelling errors that jumped out at me. I'm only up to chapter 13 right now, and I realize that you may have already corrected these mistakes in subsequent chapters. The style of your writing has an excellent story telling quality, and you create an air of tension and drama at just the right times. I hope the quality of the story stays consistent up to the most recent update! Great work!
| Reviewed By: Orchideater [MediaMiner Member] On: February 12, 2007 00:21 PST
Comment/Review:
Blahh, evil cliffhanger! Good ol' Piccolo, leave it to him to figure out the mystery of the no-ki baby. He's the one with the highest level of mental abilities, so it makes sense. And hooray for hints of multiple pairings- I love that stuff (in fiction only, of course lol). Btw I knew there was going to be at least one baby that cried and would only stop for Vegeta, I *knew* it, that was like a given! ^o^ Hope you're feeling better soon.
| Reviewed By: Webtester01 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 11, 2007 13:17 PST
Comment/Review:
Wonderful chapter. I like the insight into Saiyan family custom. I also noticed that Buluma misheard Daikon when he said '...another one hundred-fifty years...' If she is as old in your story as I think she is, add a above time, then a saiyan lifespan is two hundred or so years. And if so, then I wonder how Goku will react when he discovers that he will out-live his wife by about a hundred years. I also wonder how Chchi would react on hearing the family bond story, that Bulma was just told. Anyway wonderful chapter and I hope you get better soon. Don't forget to rest, and get your sleep!!
| Title: Chapter 57
Reviewed By: GokuGirl On: February 11, 2007 11:47 PST
Comment/Review:
I love it! This chapter was very interesting with the whole Saiyajin history thing. And the babies are so cute! Can't wait for the next chapter. I am also curious about the secret.
| Title: Shakes Fist
Reviewed By: maccam [MediaMiner Member] On: February 11, 2007 10:25 PST
Comment/Review:
ARG!!! cliffy's SO whats the big secret???????
| Reviewed By: Rourinu On: February 11, 2007 08:42 PST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
*claps* I can't wait to hear the 'secret' to Ninji's ki! Nice chapter :) I just love any interaction between Goku and Vegeta. I normally don't like original characters, but I gotta tell you, I LOVE everyone you've introduced to this story. Hope your head cold gets better and I'll be eagerly awaiting the next chapter, as usual :)
| Title: Chapter 57: Secrets
Reviewed By: Venus legacy not logged On: February 11, 2007 07:13 PST
Comment/Review:
Oooh you're just gonna leave me hanging with that one, lol. I wonder what Piccolo will reveal, I can't wait. The bond between Vejita and Vegeta is so sweet and Vegeta trying to deny it "Maybe he is afraid to cry when I am holding him," lol that made me laugh. I can understand why Vegeta did not want to tell Bulla the whole truth about what happened between him and Goku and how the babies were really conceived, it seems a bit much to be telling a young girl, Goten can't really be suggesting that they tell her the truth? Although I did find what Daikkon had to say about the family unit of the saiyans interesting he seems to always tell the tales of the past like a historian I don't know it just seems he's a bit detached from it sometimes. I did find it sweet, however, when Bulma said the twins won't have any subjects and Daikkon said "They will have me," I was like aaaw Daikkon. I wonder if the idea of the saiyan family unit will help solve the problems of the divide between the Breifs and the Son household, maybe this is where the title 'Unlikely bond' comes into play, at first I thought the title was referring to the bond between Goku and Vegeta and the possible love/sexual bond that might arise between them. But hearing Daikkon's story of the saiyan family unit I was thinking hmm wouldn't it be a remarkable thing if the two families did decide to fuse like that. The 'Unlikely Bond' that formed due to the fact that Goku and Vegeta have children together and also the unlikely bond between the families, maybe even including Vegeta and Chi (lol or is that too much to hope for, then again in this chapter things didn't seem as awkward between Vegeta and Chi Chi, he usually refuses her cups of coffee, this time he accepted it so who knows). The thing that I am worried about is if uniting the two families 'saiyan style' means that Vegeta will have to take Goku as his 'shoume,' and how this will impact the other wives. Man I'm excited and scared about what will happen but you roll with it I can't wait to see how this pans out, if it will pan out like that. I hope your head-cold clears up soon I hate them cause it always makes you feel drowsy like you can't do anything, I'm surprised you still updated even though you weren't feeling well, all best. And I am loving those little babies too, I like the way you give them their own personalities, I feel as if I have a sense of who they are. Oh also I was wondering where Goten was living, if he is still at the Son household since the twins have his room, he said he was moving out, is he gonna get a place with trunks, I think he mentioned that he was thinking about employment at capsule corp?
| Title: Chapter 57
Reviewed By: Katiefoolery [MediaMiner Member] On: February 11, 2007 04:24 PST
Comment/Review:
Another chapter already! You're spoiling us, Bdie. :D I liked the concept of Saiyan families that you've established there and the way Daikkon managed to couch the concept in a way that appealed to Bulma. (Still don't trust him, though...) And I can't wait to see what Piccolo has to say about the whole ki issue. What a place to end it! :D
| Reviewed By: Orchideater [MediaMiner Member] On: February 06, 2007 00:27 PST
Comment/Review:
Lucky Goten! Now he has a hot car to impress the chicks with.^^ And I know I've said it many times before, but... poor Goku. To have to be deprived of his gorgeous body for so long (and in turn, deprive we readers)... TT_TT Oh the humanity! I get the feeling that his first post-pregnancy spar is going to be frustrating for him. As for whether or not Bulla should be told the truth, hmm, that's a tough one. She's what, nine? If she was 11 or 12 I'd say yeah, maybe tell her, but 9 seems a bit too young. I think Vegeta is concerned for preserving her innocence, yes, but knowing Geta, I think he's much more afraid that his daughter will hate him when she finds out what role he played in their "deciding to have a baby."
| Reviewed By: Webtester01 (not logged in) On: February 05, 2007 23:43 PST
Comment/Review:
I loved this chapter. It really brings home the situation they are in. I have a hunch that Vejita can sense ki- the reason he is so particular about who holds him, or perhaps by scent. And Goten got a really nice gift. :-) I look forward to more. :-)
| Title: Chapter 56
Reviewed By: GokuGirl On: February 05, 2007 15:38 PST
Comment/Review:
Great emotion in this chapter. I loved it all and I love the interaction both Goku and Vegeta have with their children. I just hope everything works out for them. U can't wait for the next chapter. As always, I very much enjoy reading this. :)
| Title: wowg
Reviewed By: maccam [MediaMiner Member] On: February 05, 2007 14:26 PST
Comment/Review:
I'm in aw again. Bra is so smart. we all know where she gets it from! I wish there was a way they could all be together at least until the twins are older. can't wait to read more in the future!!
| Title: Finally caught up!
Reviewed By: StarbearerTM [MediaMiner Member] On: February 05, 2007 06:49 PST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
What can I say. This is a great plot, and I love the way you push the reader to see the depths of Vegeta and Bulma's love, as well as stretching the character's relationships in new directions. I can't wait to see more. I'm truely impressed here.
| | Pages (32): [ « ‹ 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 › » ] |
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