| "Pack Law" Reviews/Comments [ 323 ] |
| Pages (22): [ « ‹ 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 › » ] |
Reviewed By: kokoronagomu [MediaMiner Member] On: May 21, 2008 17:47 EDT
Comment/Review:
a new baddy and he's got the hots for kagome? an unmated kagome... sneaky yasha, kissing her to shut her up, what's keeping him from proposing? good chapter. . . you mentioned a beta... most recently i've been proofreading stories for 'ravyn' (rk, naruto fandoms), 'kodiaqkitten' (the iy story 'darkness fades to dawn') and 'animelover23' (the iy story 'tree messaging'). i have time to add another author but i don't read lemons. if you're interested my address is: ginduf[at]gmail.com and we can discuss any particulars. ~ thank you, ginny
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Reviewed By: PunchyMamma [MediaMiner Member] On: May 21, 2008 00:11 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Usually, I will not review unless a fic happens to be exceptionally well composed or craptastically bad. With that said, it is my opinion that you have a good "pen" I appreciate you staying in character, while allowing room for said characters to develop and have some depth. While the premise of the fic is far from original, you seem to try to follow the original tale and take it a step beyond. I am curious to see if you will apply any of the overly used plot devices, tweak the more popular, more reasonable ones, or come up with wholly original concepts as far as the "life extension" and "mating" are concerned. And I'm anxious about the OCs, as I've seen the introduction of too many too fast, or just those that authors don't bother to enrich, suck the preverbal life out of a decent piece of fiction. All in all, so far, this is a good fic with few spelling, grammar and continuity blemishes. Please continue to take your time to hash out a good story. Don't rush the lemon.
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Reviewed By: Ryo5492 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2008 21:57 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
omg your fanfic is so good! i love itXD cant wait for the next chapter=D do you upload a new ch every week? eeeek its so goodXD it would be funny if hiyomu was really miroku's son and miroku and the gang were still alive, except they were hiding form kagome trying not to change the futureXD lolXD oh is that really gooan happen? omg i really cant wait for the next chapterXP
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Reviewed By: CatLover260 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2008 07:53 EDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I think that it is a descendant of Miroku and Sango that just looks like Miroku, maybe even his reincarnation. And almost calling Inuyasha Uncle and seeing a likeness in Kagome means one of three things; one, Kagome and Inuyasha lived through the years into the modern time; two, they are descendants that look like them; or three, Inuyasha was being mistaken for Sesshomaru and Kagome looks like someone else, either a descendant of herself or Rin (who looks a lot like Kagome). Can't wait to see if one of my guesses is right or not. And how the jewel ended up broken in modern Tokyo.
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Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2008 03:25 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
so I'll give you some bonus marks... considering I did read half this chapter at hell (aka school ('cause thats what it was like to day...)
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Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2008 03:24 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
woops for got to rate....
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Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2008 03:23 EDT
Comment/Review:
or son.... or great-great-great-grandson..... would probably be the correct answer???
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Reviewed By: RavenShadow [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2008 02:09 EDT
Comment/Review:
This is really good so far, please keep it up. Can't wait for the next chapter.
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Reviewed By: kokoronagomu [MediaMiner Member] On: May 19, 2008 20:03 EDT
Comment/Review:
if you don't already know about it, there is a great site that has all kinds of facts on sengoku jidai and inuyasha, all of the research without the legwork: hagakureproductions[dot]tripod[dot]com/guides[dot]htm . . . are you going to have yasha ask higurashi-san for her daughter? interesting development with the jewel still broken in modern tokyo. in eager anticipation. ~ a pleasure, ginny
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Reviewed By: Hitsugaya630 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 19, 2008 17:07 EDT
Comment/Review:
well, good. Miroku accepted, though I didn't doubt he would. And . . .was that guy going to say something like Uncle? I don't know where I got that from but i was just wondering. Love the chapter. Update soon!!!
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Reviewed By: Dessy On: May 13, 2008 22:15 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like the idea of this story! I really hope it's one that's the kind that keeps going in ur mind (as an author i mean, Sometimes, the story plot gets boring to the author and they just dont write it as well as they could...) If this was a one to ten, I'd give it a 100! d^_^b two thumbs up! please contiune to update and I cant wait to read the next chappy ^_^ -Dessy
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Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: May 13, 2008 02:40 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
What the fuck indeed. Great chapter!!!
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Reviewed By: kokoronagomu [MediaMiner Member] On: May 13, 2008 02:06 EDT
Comment/Review:
love yash's explanation to sango and her reaction to his avoidance of admitting just why his proposal to kagome would be different. . . keh. >=D ~ a pleasure, ginny
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Reviewed By: pokiepal [MediaMiner Member] On: May 12, 2008 22:13 EDT
Comment/Review:
good so far keep up the good work can't wait until a new upload!
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Reviewed By: Hitsugaya630 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 12, 2008 20:00 EDT
Comment/Review:
awesome, good to know he's told one of them at least. Wonder how he's gonna tell Kagome? And how is he supossed to explain it to Miroku? God, can't wait for the next chapter! update soon!
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| Pages (22): [ « ‹ 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 › » ] |
